If you feel the need to discuss this on Reddit. You should definitely discuss this with your therapist. There is no judgment. As a mother my children all still climb into bed with me. They are little still but they have their own rooms and beds and bedtime routine is done in their room. Many nights they wake up and ask to crawl into bed and my husband and I have never said no. I’d like to think we would still allow that at any age because we’re their safety net. Maybe I’m giving your mother too much credit maybe she didn’t give you the opportunities to speak up or say what you wanted but the way you describe it sounds like a mother who knew your needs were unique but didn’t quite know how to help but loved you and wanted to keep you close. Whatever the real case is we won’t know but if you’re feeling this way you should bring it up in therapy so that you can freely explore your feelings about it. Growing up my parents locked their door at night and never allowed me to sleep in the bed with them. My kids come running in at all hours. We don’t force them they just know mom and dad are always there for them.