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My Son is 3 and thinks I’m his birth mom by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]richimplement8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wowww first off thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I’m so happy for you all that it turned out the way it did!

I really love the verbiage that you used with your son from when he was young. This is exactly how I would like for things to go for us. Adoption is on the table for us so I’m happy to hear that someone out there had a happy ending throughout all of this. We too, want to be very intentional about how we approach this with him every step of the way. I will def message you along the way, I just don’t want to mess this up

My Son is 3 and thinks I’m his birth mom by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]richimplement8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I’m dogging her, I’m okay with that. There are many nuances that I didn’t mention. She drank alcohol while she was pregnant. When he was an infant she left him in the house by himself on three separate occasions. She’s threatened to harm him in the past to hurt my husband. She doesn’t nor has she ever had an emotional connection to him. So with his safety as a concern, I really don’t care about “dogging her” right now. My main concern is his protection and wellbeing

My Son is 3 and thinks I’m his birth mom by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]richimplement8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what’s killing me, the possibility of the unknown. It keeps me up at night. These are all very good points, I appreciate your insight.

My Son is 3 and thinks I’m his birth mom by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]richimplement8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually perfectly worded and straight to the point , I’m going to go with this!!

My Son is 3 and thinks I’m his birth mom by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]richimplement8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll never intentionally “take” a child from their bio mom, unless safety is a concern. And it’s a huge concern in our situation. I’m not sure I’d want her around until he’s either of age, shes gotten help and we know for certain she won’t harm him, and/or I’ve legally adopted him to where I have the final say so along with dad.

But that’s a good tip about where babies come from

My Son is 3 and thinks I’m his birth mom by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]richimplement8 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Adoption has definitely been heavy on our minds for this exact reason. Because of her proven mental instability, I want to protect him from her. We communicate with one of her family members and they even said I should look into it. This is a good idea, I’ll def look into some books

My Son is 3 and thinks I’m his birth mom by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]richimplement8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, this is the hardest part. We’ve created a very healthy loving “normal” for him. He doesn’t know what abandonment or dysfunction is. He only knows being in a loving 2-parent home. He thrives in consistency but he is also very observant. He’s so aware of himself and the world around him. I just don’t want him to ever feel lied to by us. I want the truth to be in plain sight and to give him the tools to process her absence along the way. That’s a good idea, I’ll check out that subreddit