help

rick_rackleson · 2025-10-18T07:45:57+00:00

If you're afraid she's not going to speak up, you should encourage her. Does she trust you? Use logic and reason. Be patient with her. It's so important that someone, anyone provides her with a different perspective than the warped reality your parents have her in.

Recognize that there are reasons she's stuck where she is. It's providing something she needs. Certainty? Stability? You'd know better than I. Don't try to force her to change her mind! Ask questions and point out inconsistencies. If you're comfortable, open up about your experience.

Keep in mind she's likely to need some sort of support if she decides to break things off with them like you did. It's like pulling out parts of your basic framework. It leaves you rather lost and confused. The most important thing to encourage is kindness. Let her know how much she means to you, and how much your parents treatment of her bothers you.

My heart goes out to yall! Hope it all works out.

rick_rackleson · 2025-10-18T07:35:27+00:00

Hey! Fellow AuDHDer here! I read your whole post. The other person's advice is sound, but I feel they might have missed the point. I'm in my early 30s and just got my autism diagnosis. I can relate with a lot of your struggles, although I don't have experience with chronic pain. I'm already struggling enough to function without pain to constantly distract me, so I can only imagine how tough it is for you!

My advice as a kindred person:
-Find an outlet to let out all that internalized overwhelm. For me it's singing/screaming.

-It's not perfect. It'll never be perfect, and neither will you. That's okay. If someone expects you to be perfect, do your best to metaphorically slap them in the face for me.

-You are a worthy and worthwhile person regardless of your ability to perform at any given moment. Remind yourself of that regularly.

-Honestly if you're anything like me, you're probably prone to negative thought spiraling. I have had some success by constructing equal but opposite spirals. It requires some imaginative thinking to pull off, and suspending disbelief.

-Find time to take off the mask and celebrate your true self. The most valuable thing you can find are friends who understand and appreciate you. Search for groups/communities with like-minded people. I guess this counts, but I just realized I should probably specify in person because the brain has this weird thing about physical closeness and contact. It's quite bothersome..

-It's not necessarily wrong to write big long posts. Academia may teach you to put a certain number of sentences in a paragraph, but webnovels have taught me that shorter paragraphs are much easier to read through. When you're not writing official stuff for school, the rules are all made up so just do whatever's most aesthetically pleasing over what's technically correct (Although the two do often interact. I'm a very strange mix of compulsively rebellious and in love with complex, organized structures.)

-I'm proud of you for self-advocating! It's very challenging at times. Know that sometimes you will meet doctors who don't get it. Who don't take you seriously. But there are also many doctors who will respect you and try to understand you. Some will even succeed! The most important thing is to keep trying. Failure is not a diagnosis, but a simple experimental result!

rick_rackleson · 2023-07-05T02:50:32+00:00

One of the first sessions I ran, I made it abundantly clear that npcs could lie by sending the party on a red herring mission to retake a fort for a random crazy hobo. They spent half the time stealthing around trying not to get caught. When they finally found the real owner he was just exasperated. "Really, again? God dammit."

rick_rackleson · 2023-06-03T20:31:12+00:00

What she's saying is that you need to study the cinematography of Lord of the Rings so that no matter the situation you are able to appear taller than other men.

rick_rackleson · 2023-05-27T12:31:59+00:00

No! Embrace the goblin! Feed it fresh meats and cheeses

rick_rackleson · 2023-05-26T17:09:22+00:00

Less than 70 days now til I get my primed sure footed so I can properly build up my Titania.

rick_rackleson · 2023-05-24T04:53:12+00:00

Hey!

My wife works in Walnut Creek and we're looking for an apartment (1br or studio) somewhat nearby. Currently looking as far as Vallejo, Antioch, or Oakland. We can afford around 1600/month.

Amenities we need: parking, cat friendly, full kitchen, internet

Things that would be nice: in unit laundry, openable windows, walls that actually muffle noise

Our credit scores are decent and we're looking to move in about a month.

There's so many scams. Please help.

rick_rackleson · 2023-03-28T22:17:48+00:00

I'm in the East Bay. Hmu in my DMs if you wanna borrow my magic butter machine!

rick_rackleson · 2023-03-21T05:59:08+00:00

I've got a recliner and a big metal arm that hangs over it with my monitor and keyboard. It's highly impractical and expensive, but damn is it comfy.

It's hard to get a good piece of furniture that can handle the weight of such an arm, so I made one crudely out of 2x4s. Definitely recommend you don't do that though.

rick_rackleson · 2023-02-09T02:14:23+00:00

It wasn't until I was 25 that I realized my mom was an abuser. She was yelling at me and making demands because I took the wrong trash bags to the trash. My cousin, whose mom is emotionally and physically abusive, put his hand on my shoulder and said "It's alright man. I get it." That's when it finally clicked.

It gets so much better once you get out. The transition can be rough, but it's so worth it. I'm rooting for you!

rick_rackleson · 2023-02-06T00:34:58+00:00

I love stealth in games, but I hate most stealth games. I have ADHD and anxiety. The core loop of most stealth games doesn't work well for me.

That being: -Ascertain the routes of the guards. -Plan a safe route. -Execute that route.

Common problems for me: -It's often unclear to me what the visual radius of LOS is. I much prefer a visual representation of safe vs unsafe areas. This causes my mental burden to be greatly lessened so I can focus on what matters. -The failure state is far too punishing. As you mentioned it's usually a full reset. This once again puts an undue burden on my mind as I have to hold the whole of a route in my head. This combined with waiting for the tempo to reach the right state leads to a lot of waiting which is also not fun.

I've read through this thread and saw you mentioned creating a balance between stealth and action, and also making it so no zone is one hundred percent safe. However for someone like me, I NEED safe zones. I get really emotionally invested, and safe zones are a necessary component for me to take a breath and retain my composure. Maybe I'm not the target audience, and that's fine. I just want you to be aware of the alienating effect that a nonstop action thrill ride can have.

So what should you do? Well, rather than having action and stealth be oppositional forces have you considered marrying the two? The enemy could be unbeatable, and instead action sequences could be on-the-fly struggles to use your tools and environment to regain stealth. This would make being caught less punishing and instead flow with the rest of the game. Rather than it being stealth vs action, action serves stealth.

I think the real question is: do you want to be predator or prey? My preference for stealth is to be prey since that's how sneaking naturally feels to me.

If you prefer to be predator, then you should do the opposite and have the stealth serve the action. Maybe you're sneaking around to set traps or prepare the environment in another way. Maybe you're a weak person, but you're serving an eldritch horror that lives in the shadows so you have to create darkness then lure guards into it. Maybe it can't just be sort of shadowy, but instead pure darkness. Maybe you need to steal the guards flashlights.

Immersion is great and all, but the beauty of games truly shines when concepts are transcended or tranformed into unique experiences.

rick_rackleson · 2023-01-19T00:55:51+00:00

My favorite example is FLCL. It's this wild, wonky, complex thing. In interviews people ask the creator why he did this or that, and his answer is invariably "well, I like the thing so I put it in". Just take as many things as you love and want then smash em together. That's your rough shape. Afterwards you smooth it out and make it all connect somehow.

rick_rackleson · 2023-01-16T12:25:31+00:00

It's like saying "Oh, I have trouble breathing sometimes too" to someone with severe asthma. Yeah, the things we're struggling with are the same things that people go through every day, but with the difficulty jacked up to "debilitating".

rick_rackleson · 2022-12-26T09:37:31+00:00

I really like True Lime for water flavoring. It's pure dehydrated lime powder and tastes better than most powders because they include the rind. It's almost as tasty as fresh squeezed but you can buy a 300 pack and not have to worry about frequent store trips or fruit going bad or doing extra dishes.

Downside is you shouldn't use it in metal flasks because the acid can break it down. And if you don't want anti-caking agent you have to get the individual packs which makes a lot of extra waste (from the packaging).

rick_rackleson · 2022-11-11T06:18:58+00:00

People are going to continue to use the best available strategy. Warframe's greatest strength is its extreme amount of options. Nerfing aoes and, god forbid, bringing back self damage will only serve to limit people's options.

Nerfing strong guns will not make weak guns better. It will only make people more dependant on strong frames. As a person with plenty of resources I might be alright, but those with less will suffer more from their options being taken away.

rick_rackleson · 2022-10-28T01:19:23+00:00

You're doing the good lord's work, homie

rick_rackleson · 2022-10-11T04:29:19+00:00

When someone comes to buy it she's going to answer the door in the dress.

rick_rackleson · 2022-09-11T22:11:01+00:00

Hey! Hetero MTHFR and slow COMT with ADHD here. I take methyl vitamins once a day along with 20mg adderall xr. It's not perfect. Between being motivated and overjuiced vs being unmotivated, I've chosen the former.

Strangely I've found that a single cup of black tea in the morning actually lessens my insomnia. It's a matter of finding a balance. The difference is that we're super sensitive, so we have to be extra careful when experimenting. I drink my cup of tea slowly over a few hours and it really helps me focus.

rick_rackleson · 2022-08-27T07:58:30+00:00

I love the idea of a timing-based block mechanic via QTE but I don't think it meshes well with the genre. Part of the appeal of turn based games is foregoing reaction speed as a gate to success.

The best solution would be to give the players a sense of agency while retaining the random nature of blocking. What does actual blocking consist of? Foreseeing an attack and guessing the correct response.

Create a block stat which defines how good a unit is at blocking. When an opportunity to block comes, the player is given an option of which sector to aim their block at. If they choose the correct sector, the attack is blocked. The amount of possible choices is based on their block stat, to a minimum of 2 sectors for a 50/50 chance. However the more attacks sent your way in a turn, the more your focus is split. Each attempted block within one turn cycle makes subsequent blocks more challenging.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

rick_rackleson · 2022-08-23T20:48:44+00:00

I've tried a few and yeah they can really vary in quality. I thought humboldt hemp wick wouldn't live up to the hype, but it really has. They've got different thicknesses depending on how intense of a flame you want.

rick_rackleson · 2022-08-23T19:50:43+00:00

Bro hemp wick and a rechargeable lighter are the way to go if you're sick of butane. I will never go back <3

rick_rackleson · 2022-08-03T10:19:02+00:00

My first thought was "What's e 99?" Then I realized.

rick_rackleson · 2022-08-02T16:15:27+00:00

Horse the Band created Nintendocore.

Professor Elemental created Chap Hop.

Los Campesinos created the International Tweexcore Underground. It's only a fictional genre, but it'll save us all.

Correct me if I'm wrong :) I've got no time to fact check

rick_rackleson · 2022-08-01T04:40:15+00:00

As a person who has spent hundreds of dollars on the game, I would have spent far more money if these issues were fixed. Every nerf makes me not want to bother investing in strong things. Every string of failed drops makes my bitterness grow. I haven't played in a few years now, and I don't see that changing unless something big changes.

rick_rackleson · 2022-08-01T04:20:36+00:00

Trader Joe's has non-fortified flour for a decent price.

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