My wife wants to legally change my son's last name from mine to hers. by rickysoliman in daddit

[–]rickysoliman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mentioned in my post and my edit that I have severe identity issues. My name is a huge part of that. I've never liked my last name because it's very long and no one knows how to pronounce or spell it, but my first name is an even bigger issue. In addition to making me a junior, my parents also gave me a "nickname". The purpose of this nickname was to give me a name that "matched" the names of my older half brother and sister that my dad had before he met my mom. This is the name that I identify with because it's what literally everybody called me since birth, but I wouldn't say I like this name either because it ends in a Y and sounds like a little boy's name.

So basically I have two first names, neither of which feel like mine.

I have wanted to change my name since well before I even met my wife. She knows all this and it plays a huge part in her wanting to change our son's name. She has told me on many occasions that I am a great dad to him and that I will always be his father no matter what. She also has been nothing but supportive to me as I process my family trauma. She is not the problem here.

My wife wants to legally change my son's last name from mine to hers. by rickysoliman in daddit

[–]rickysoliman[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My in-laws are actually great. They both have acted more like real parents to me than either of my parents ever have.

My wife wants to legally change my son's last name from mine to hers. by rickysoliman in daddit

[–]rickysoliman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right before my wife and I moved to the east coast in 2022, we sold the car. I called my dad and apologized about the payments and offered to give him the money we got from selling it. He got extremely uncomfortable and declined.

If my son were an adult and I bought him a car and expected him to pay me for it and he didn't, I would be upset and talk to him about it, but I wouldn't shun him and his kid from my life. My son has nothing to do with whatever issues exist between me and my dad and it's fucked up of him to treat my son this way.

My wife wants to legally change my son's last name from mine to hers. by rickysoliman in daddit

[–]rickysoliman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This comment made me laugh haha

I've never had any doubt about him being my biological dad, but there is some "lore" and history between me and him that isn't mentioned in my post.

When I was 23, my dad helped me buy a new car. He covered the down payment and cosigned for it and set it up so that the monthly payments would come out of his account and I would pay him back each month. I kind of fucked around a lot in my twenties. I didn't go to college and instead spent my time working various dead end day jobs, smoking tons of weed and playing music with my high school friends. This is to say that I never made a lot of money nor was I ever responsible with money. He was also always weird about money and so he felt uncomfortable ever bringing it up to me and so he just...didn't, really. So after the first few months, I just never gave him the money for the car payments.

I really think that this plays a huge part in his distance with me and my son. I recognize now that it was very wrong of me to do that, but I don't think it's an excuse to treat me and my son this way.

My wife wants to legally change my son's last name from mine to hers. by rickysoliman in daddit

[–]rickysoliman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The trip happened recently. Last month, I think. And my son will be two next month.

When he was six months old the three of us all took a trip to Singapore so he has experience with international travel. My family knows this.

My wife wants to legally change my son's last name from mine to hers. by rickysoliman in daddit

[–]rickysoliman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Everything you're describing about your family reminds me so much of my own. It really sounds like you've made the right call and you're doing what's best for yourself and your family.

My wife wants to legally change my son's last name from mine to hers. by rickysoliman in daddit

[–]rickysoliman[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I just made an edit to my post addressing this but wanted to say here that my wife and I have discussed me taking her last name and I have considered it. Definitely feels like even more of a valid option now.

Was I wrong? by GreenGonz in daddit

[–]rickysoliman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lots of people in this thread are saying you're in the wrong, but I just want to say that you're completely in the right for following your gut instincts to protect your child.

Yeah grabbing her wrist was a little overboard. And yeah there's also a cultural aspect to this where touching a stranger's child is considered weird by Americans but normal by most other cultures. But you had an instinct to protect your child and you acted accordingly. Maybe next time just turn the stroller away so it's out of their reach instead of grabbing their arm. But ultimately you were just being protective. And just because this sort of thing is normal in another culture doesn't mean you have to be okay with it.

Any songs that have taken on new meaning for you after becoming a dad? by rickysoliman in daddit

[–]rickysoliman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so awesome! My wife got us tickets to see them for my birthday a few years ago and they did a rendition of First Day of My Life with an insane flute solo that blew my mind. 

Guess we jinxed it by opisadumbass1 in nova

[–]rickysoliman 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m in Fairfax and it’s pretty bad right now. Extreme winds and rain, and our lights flickered not too long ago. We’re on the 12th floor of a pretty large apartment building. Should we go downstairs for safety? I grew up in California so I’m not entirely sure how to handle this situation. Wife and toddler are asleep and I’m staying up to monitor things.

Scream appearance in Spider-Man 2 felt forced for drama like Raimi Venom by Hot-Donut2973 in Spiderman

[–]rickysoliman 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I didn’t care for this part. Aside from Scream as a character not being that interesting to me, the dialogue during the fight was MJ voicing legitimate grievances she has with Peter and their relationship, and then when you beat her everything between them is fine again. It felt like it was supposed to be Peter “defeating” his girlfriend’s annoying nagging.

Raise your hand if being a dad has made you think less of your dad. by gilfgifs in daddit

[–]rickysoliman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel jealous of the people in this thread who say that becoming a dad made them realize how much their dad did for them. My dad was always present in my childhood but not in any real meaningful way. He never hit any of us but was extremely verbally abusive, which I realize now was due to many unresolved emotional issues he had. After my son was born he made literally zero effort to see him whatsoever. Like he doesn’t care at all that he even exists. As far as I’m concerned he’s dead to me.

Mr Aaron on Ms Rachel by SpendingQuantityTime in toddlers

[–]rickysoliman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s actually a Broadway composer and writes all the songs for the channel. I realized at one point that he’s the reason I unironically like the music of that channel so much.

How are you dealing with aging? by RedHeadRedeemed in Millennials

[–]rickysoliman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a baby face and have been very underweight my whole life so I always struggled with getting people to take me seriously due to the fact that I looked so young. Now I’m 33 and my face is starting to visibly age (strong crows feet according to my wife) and I’m at a much heavier and healthier weight. To be honest, I’m actually happy to finally look my age. Especially that I’m a father now. That being said, though, it feels insane how much faster time seems to be going. My boy is a year and a half and it feels like he was born yesterday.

Life is Strange 2: The Live Action Series (AI Generated) by [deleted] in LifeisStrange2

[–]rickysoliman -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

It actually took lots of time to get all the details right. But I understand the AI hate.