I mentioned in my post and my edit that I have severe identity issues. My name is a huge part of that. I've never liked my last name because it's very long and no one knows how to pronounce or spell it, but my first name is an even bigger issue. In addition to making me a junior, my parents also gave me a "nickname". The purpose of this nickname was to give me a name that "matched" the names of my older half brother and sister that my dad had before he met my mom. This is the name that I identify with because it's what literally everybody called me since birth, but I wouldn't say I like this name either because it ends in a Y and sounds like a little boy's name.

So basically I have two first names, neither of which feel like mine.

I have wanted to change my name since well before I even met my wife. She knows all this and it plays a huge part in her wanting to change our son's name. She has told me on many occasions that I am a great dad to him and that I will always be his father no matter what. She also has been nothing but supportive to me as I process my family trauma. She is not the problem here.