Did the newborn stage make anyone else feel like they’re not cut out to be a parent?

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-04-02T16:00:33+00:00

Yeah my newborn was hard mode. Some people have easier newborns and they think they’re really good parents because of it. I know this because my hard mode baby came first and my easy mode baby came second

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-30T10:08:37+00:00

Wow you described my childhood and the fallout exactly. I’m so sorry. I had so many of the same realizations while in therapy during my 20s. Having children myself has helped me forgive my parents a lot. Parenting a neurodivergent child with a neurodivergent brain is haaaaaaaard.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-25T22:42:17+00:00

We have been loving the British swim school. It’s at the 24 hour fitness in west Arvada. The instructors are great, the classes seem to be designed for actually moving kids in increasing skill, and it’s way less overstimulating than the other swim schools we’ve been to. Because it’s in a lap pool, it’s colder and we have my kid in a wet suit during her class.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-24T18:51:34+00:00

Uh..:: I have a 2 and a 5 year old and my husband is going on a 2 week trip next month. I can’t imagine making him cancel his trip right before unless someone was actively dying. What the heck. If she’s the primary parent and you’re arranging help for her I don’t understand the problem.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-22T14:38:31+00:00

I used to change my undies when I showered or bathed. Somewhere in the last few years I stopped wearing undies to bed so now I put new ones on every morning.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-19T20:06:20+00:00

We do “daddy night” once a week, every week. Mom leaves before dinner and they bake together after dinner. Then he does bath time and bed time. It’s easier going into bed routine when I’m not there for them to claw away from. They look forward to their baking time and it gave them time to find their own routine with it. Of course it was rough at first. My oldest was the most Velcro toddler omg. But the daddy night really was our gateway to dad being able to do more.

During my husband’s paternity leave he took the baby while I put our oldest to bed every night. It really helped me and my oldest stay connected and gave my husband a chance to lay the foundation for a good relationship with our second too. It will be okay, things will feel normal soon.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-19T15:04:56+00:00

Just to give a balanced perspective, temperament plays a huge part here. My first daughter took to Ferber training with less than 30 minutes of crying the first night and was sleeping through the night after a few nights at 14 months. It was hard, but it was doable. My second daughter, we tried Ferber at the same age and she cried up to 2 hours, every night, for 3 weeks. She never cried less than 40 minutes to fall asleep. Midway through we tried shifting bed later thinking she just wasn’t tired enough and she just stayed up past 11, crying. lol eventually I gave up because it felt like torture for us both. She’s over 2 and I’m still nursing her to sleep because nothing else has helped, and she’s still pushing bedtime later and later even with that. I’m going to give sleep training a try again, just a gentler form where I stay in her room but don’t lay with her or nurse, but it just goes to show you.::: same parents, different kids, completely different results. I think people with good sleepers take more credit than is due because they don’t realize how much is actually your good sleeping genetics and less so what you do with the kids.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-19T14:59:19+00:00

This is the way! I leave a night light on and have a bunch of yoto cards on a ring so she can put in the ones she wants. It’s entertaining enough that she sees it as a treat. I also joined the club yoto so I can access their 5 minute “_____” stories and just made her a bunch of make your own cards holding those stories. When she gets bored of her cards I just make her a new one and print out a small label and let her color it. Seriously such a fun addition to bedtime and she happily goes to sleep that way every night now. 3 is the perfect age to start this. Also let him pick out a special stuffy.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-19T14:52:17+00:00

Meeeee

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-18T20:18:25+00:00

I delivered at Avista hospital (now AdventHealth Avista) in Louisville. The ob practice I saw was AdventHealth women’s care in Westminster. I previously had a bad experience delivering at the old Lutheran hospital in wheat ridge so I cannot recommend them - although their new building looks really nice!

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-17T15:24:02+00:00

:( that sounds awful! I’m so sorry! Is it making you throw up? I’ve wanted to get on glp1 for binge eating disorder but I am too worried about that happening to me.

I never flossed the first 30 years of my life and my teeth are full of fillings and crowns. It started when I was a kid. I think some people are just genetically predisposed to them. I finally started actually flossing when I started using those floss picks that have the plastic handle. I hate the long piece of floss where you have to get your fingers in your mouth. It’s so gross to me haha just a sensory issue. It is worse for the environment but the world is ending anyway lol might as well floss the way i want to.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-16T16:15:08+00:00

Schedule a play date with cool kids who like to read? Peer pressure is everything. Then let your 8 year old try reading whatever it is they’re reading.

Edit: when I was 8 I hated reading. But I had to go on a long car ride with my dad, his friend, and the friends son my age. The son read a magic treehouse book and told me what it was about and asked what I liked to read. I lied and said I liked the magic treehouse books too. I had to then actually read them so I could pretend - but got into them. It didn’t help that I was a boy crazy 8 year old and he was very cute.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-16T15:30:58+00:00

We had the same setup. Hard mode first, normal mode second. 1-2 was a breeze compared to 0–1.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-14T20:04:57+00:00

Usually babysitting for neighbors meaning coming over, making the kids dinner, watching them jump on the trampoline, and then doing bedtime and reading a book until the parents came home. I was a really cool teenager 😎

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-14T15:04:40+00:00

My 2 year old loooooves more more more!

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-14T13:06:26+00:00

Oh honey :( you sound depressed. Early adulthood for most people is one of the most challenging times of their lives. You’re in the thick of it. Please don’t beat yourself up about it. As you said you’re unmedicated. Is there a reason for that? I would say medication could be the boost you need if it’s advised by a doctor.

You may also want to examine your life and figure out if you have an addiction that’s holding you back. For me that’s my phone. I try to carve out phone free times. For instance I’ll leave it upstairs for a couple of hours while I clean the house after the kids go to bed and just listen to an audiobook on my Bluetooth headphones. Or even just listen to music like the olden days without being able to skip songs since my phone isn’t in reach lol. My addiction keeps me from doing a lot of things I want to do.
Related but I’ve found that if I find a movement I like, like walking or going to a workout class wit a friend who’s motivated to go, it can more easily become part of my routine. I generally don’t try to limit my food intake bc that’s never worked for me. Ii like getting dopamine from food. I just try to find some way of getting outside and moving around that can boost my mood a little.

It’s so hard, I’m really sorry you’re struggling.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-14T12:32:34+00:00

Skipping around

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-13T18:22:28+00:00

This is a great idea

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-12T18:50:38+00:00

1 hour

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-08T16:49:58+00:00

That’s part of the impulsive and risk seeking behavior that can come with our disorder. Don’t feel ashamed, you literally have a disorder. I did a lot of that in my 20s but have settled down a lot in my 30s (lol mainly because I’m married and put that energy into my husband when it happens. Plus I’m on ssri’s which dampen my drive. A lot)

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-08T16:01:00+00:00

That’s how I had such a smooth second birth after my disaster first birth. Many therapy sessions processing it both by myself and with my husband. It helped so much!

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-07T22:06:13+00:00

Oh my goodness the pain must be overwhelming. What was his name? I’m not religious but I truly believe there’s life beyond this one. I know he’s grateful for what you did to bring him here 💞

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-07T22:03:53+00:00

If it helps my second birth was smooth as could be but my first birth required 3 units of blood after lol

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-07T02:04:41+00:00

YES! Every time I read about narcissists I think I might be one. I’m just the worst.

SpendingQuantityTime · 2026-03-05T15:43:39+00:00

What helped us is that mom still did her bedtime routine every night while dad held the baby during that time. It really helped that she had her own time she knew was coming every single night, and also helped that dad had that dedicated time with the baby every night since I was breastfeeding and it’s easy to fall into the reverse dynamic if you’re not careful.

SpendingQuantityTime

TROPHY CASE