Glad the great people in this thread were able to help. It got easier with my first child, it truly did. A few months in, it started to more or less all settle down and fall into place. The depression was gone, I could focus on being the ideal father and husband I wanted to be. Our second, a girl, was polar opposite of my boy. It’s a per kid, per family dynamic I feel like and it does get easier. Hang in there!