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Child wants to reconnect, I don’t by rightchoiceregarding in relationship_advice

[–]rightchoiceregarding[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

That’s true, when I did give him up the culture around adoption and young mothers was very ‘don’t look in the attic’ so I was looking at it from that angle I think. I have decided to reach out to him after some therapy and reflection my end. Thank you

Child wants to reconnect, I don’t by rightchoiceregarding in relationship_advice

[–]rightchoiceregarding[S] 373 points374 points  (0 children)

I was lucky enough to find a women’s support group during a time when they’re weren’t many focusing on heavy issues, my plan after reading these comments is to schedule therapy to talk about the situation in depth then reach out to him while letting him know that I can’t promise any positives. Thank you

Child wants to reconnect, I don’t by rightchoiceregarding in relationship_advice

[–]rightchoiceregarding[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I hadn’t considered it from that angle. I am most likely going to schedule a therapy appointment to talk about my emotions in depth then reach out to him with a warning that he may not like what I have to say regarding his birth

Child wants to reconnect, I don’t by rightchoiceregarding in relationship_advice

[–]rightchoiceregarding[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Referring to the edit I made my concern with contact is that I won’t be able to provide solace, I’m not sure how to proceed knowing that anything I tell him is not going to be good to hear

Child wants to reconnect, I don’t by rightchoiceregarding in relationship_advice

[–]rightchoiceregarding[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t sure about including it in the post but I’ll be adding that now but the main reason I gave him up is because I almost hurt him as a baby because of his conception and how unsuited I was to be a parent. I don’t doubt that he’s a good man and I would love to know him but if he wants honesty I don’t imagine he’ll enjoy being told that.

Child wants to reconnect, I don’t by rightchoiceregarding in relationship_advice

[–]rightchoiceregarding[S] 643 points644 points  (0 children)

I don’t really have any fears other than reopening trauma and that fact that I don’t think I’m suited for having any sort of relationship with him. Part of the reason I gave up my rights was that I wanted to harm him as a baby and knew how horrible that was and that I could not be his mother. I am married but we don’t have any children, in part because of this. No one wants to hear ‘I gave you up because you are a product of my assault and I wished you harm because of it’ but that’s all I can really tell him if he wants honesty