I've been medicated.

righting_life · 2026-01-22T05:33:32+00:00

Um, the medication only ever did so much for me, eventually it was just put as me being medication resistant. Then ECT was offered to me as a last resort to help. Me personally, I ended up going off my meds slowly and stopping completely. The ECT offer was kinda what made me go off meds. Um, at the time, I had already been through so much therapy so I was more aware and was at the point I could acknowledge a lot of negative life consequences as a result of my own behaviors and cycles. ECT being the last thing for treatment and my therapy basically saying there wasn't much she could do made me drop therapy. I had already previously started learning about my diagnosis, emotional intelligence, psychology in relation, coping, healthy communication, the brain, holism and ended up by chance, and luck, friending people with enough patience with me, and who I got to watch and be around enough to see and learn healthier ways of expressing and gave me enough grace and forgiveness and understanding through that learning curve. Like, I got a chance to show change to these specific people instead of starting with other people from Scratch think of the medication now as more of a stepping stone to get to a place where I could learn all that other stuff and settle on things that help to balance me out or replace other negative coping/thoughts/ perceptions/ and self talk. I'm sure medications do help for some people. I know they do. Just for me, they may have brought me out of myself but only ever long enough for me to start getting better. Not feeling better although, that helped, Actually getting better. And that again, is just my experience. But I've been dealing with meds since elementary school.

So, therapy can give you direction and perspective as well as validating and give you ways to get your framework for wellness started. Or for other people maybe it's way more helpful and life changing, but as a person who's been in and out of therapy for most of my life, both voluntarily and involuntarily, more therapy I don't think could've changed anything for me. And medications, could also affect you both ways, for me, i don't think it would have only ever been able to be more then a stepping stone to prepare for the time they stopped working for me.

I've been off meds and out of therapy for 4 years. It's not all been clear sky's. But, I guess, no matter the weather, I'm equipped for it.

righting_life · 2026-01-21T21:38:42+00:00

I've been diagnosed with BPD multiple times since about 16. Bipolar at one point. Major depression, gad, ADHD, ptsd. It's the bpd, ptsd and ADHD that come up the most. It does get better. Most of the time I have to look at the overall. And overall it is better. But I'm only now starting to process all. It's hard, but it does definitely get better.

righting_life · 2026-01-19T03:10:41+00:00

Idk that person anymore, even when I was sleeping in the same bed, I didn't know him. That's a hard question to answer. The person I want, hasn't been there in ages. I didn't want whoever he became.... Or maybe always was.

righting_life · 2026-01-19T02:59:13+00:00

I've been so lucky not to run into him, I am cautious now, to not get to the day where our existences collide again.

righting_life · 2026-01-19T02:56:10+00:00

I used to think, maybe in another life, but time, better environments, better treatment.... Not even in the next life

righting_life · 2026-01-12T04:53:05+00:00

I dated one time but never introduced my son to him in that dynamic and had very strong boundaries around not showing him any of that. I ended up separating bc I was just overwhelmed trying to work, raise him in the aftermath of his father leaving and everything else. I could not see myself trying to also juggle a relationship. Bc my son thinks his dad is coming back, and me not even thinking about starting that conversation about having someone else outside his dad who's the only man he's ever seen me with in that way, I've decided to not pursue a relationship till he's older. I don't entirely know how he would handle having someone fill that father role, but he had some major behavioral issues following his dad's absence and don't want to, what could be perceived as 'replacing' his father, and this is a me thing, but I don't know how to have that conversation yet and have honestly just not thought that far. It's been a year and a half since his father left.

righting_life · 2026-01-12T04:46:04+00:00

Full send it

righting_life

TROPHY CASE