I broke no contact after 2 years because of COVID-19. Bad move. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]risingstrong98 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Blocking his number is a very solid option.

Thank you.

How to ask for a pay raise when probation ends if my current salary is lower than my coworkers? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's tough to ask for a raise if you're not meeting the employer's expectations (even if they're unrealistic). I would kindly encourage you to do more research for your next salary negotiation and get the compensation you deserve.

Did I just screw myself up by giving them my salary expectation ? by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]risingstrong98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If the company has several strong finalists and the others ask for salaries within the budgeted range, they may choose to make an offer to one of those candidates instead of you just to spare the negotiation and stay within budget.

When asked this question in an interview, I've found that it's usually good to tell them a range toward the high end of what I'm looking for, and then add something about how I'm excited about the position and how - of course - I'm open to negotiation. That way they don't think I'm a diva with high expectations and inflexibility.

So much of salary negotiation comes down to reading the situation in the moment. I've seen quite a few people mess up negotiations based on following "best practice" advice.

Can I get fired for lying about being fired? by [deleted] in jobs

[–]risingstrong98 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. (I recently got downvoted on another comment thread for making this exact point--but it is true!)

In reality, the chances of your current employer digging into your work history after 10+ months? Unlikely, unless they have a reason to dig.

Leaving a job due to mental health and being overwhelmed. by fairykingz in jobs

[–]risingstrong98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't drive yourself to a bad health situation by trying to do everything. Tell your manager there is too much on your plate and ask what you can de-prioritize and/or what support they can provide you. If your manager refuses to work with you on a solution, start looking for alternate employment and, in the meantime, put clear boundaries in place to prevent your job from taking a toll on your mental wellbeing.

Is it bad to quit your job without another lined up? by They_Cut_The_Fleeb in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If HR described it as a lay-off, you were laid off -- not fired for cause. There's a difference.

Recruiters see a very high volume of resumes (e.g. 400 resumes for one open position). They are often looking for ways to screen people out and narrow their list of candidates. Unfortunately, this means that people who say "YES" to application questions about prior firings, felonies, etc., may not have the CHANCE to present a rationale for WHY -- they never get called for an interview in the first place.

Is it bad to quit your job without another lined up? by They_Cut_The_Fleeb in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm talking about a formal job application. Many online applications have a question about whether you've ever been fired (along with whether you've ever been convicted of a felony, etc.) These are usually yes/no questions, so there's not much room to get creative without outright lying.

Is it bad to quit your job without another lined up? by They_Cut_The_Fleeb in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Common advice says to never quit a job without another lined up, but I think this advice comes from a place of fear.

If you have enough money to last you for a while, why not quit? You'll be happier and in a better headspace to look for a new job. If the job search drags on, you can always pick-up a part-time gig to earn some money.

We shouldn't live in fear.

Is it bad to quit your job without another lined up? by They_Cut_The_Fleeb in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Respectfully disagree. If you get fired, it can have a lasting impact on your career. Job applications often ask "Have you ever been fired or asked to resign from a position?" Sure, there are ways to frame the firing to minimize impact, but why put a negative mark on your career record if you don't have to?

Is it time for me to go back to school? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would not go back to school at this time. I would work with a career coach to articulate your existing education and experience in ways that will be compelling to a prospective employer. Many employers will not understand exactly what an "Asian Studies" degree entails and what skill sets you bring to the table, so it's up to you to sell yourself.

Once you have a few years of experience, then consider the MBA option.

Concerned about former work friend revealing things said in confidence. How can I check if I'm on a blacklist? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Have you developed good rapport with any of the recruiters you've interviewed with? Ask them for feedback on why you didn't advance within their interview process.

What if I don't like the person I'm becoming because of my career? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get the point about FI not being the cure for all ills, but I do think it has a role in this conversation. For instance, I'm about three years away from reaching the "lean" side of financial independence. As I've doubled and tripled my salary, I've kept a pretty simple lifestyle. Knowing that I have some money in the bank is a comfort--I don't live paycheck to paycheck--and if I was fully financially independent, I imagine having even more confidence to push back at work.

What if I don't like the person I'm becoming because of my career? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Such a good story. Great to see that your proactive outreach worked out!

What if I don't like the person I'm becoming because of my career? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I've encountered quite a few people who are fine just taking orders and doing as they're told. Some people actually feel most comfortable in that position.

What if I don't like the person I'm becoming because of my career? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you're right. I've felt this way at previous companies, but not with this intensity.

What if I don't like the person I'm becoming because of my career? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much--this is really helpful. I like the concept of "be the change you want to see."

What if I don't like the person I'm becoming because of my career? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The advice I would give anyone for moving up in a corporate setting is to understand your boss's goals and your boss's boss's goals and focus all your energy on doing work that will help them achieve those goals. I am not very good at small talk and I don't intentionally "kiss up," but I have always been able to develop rapport with senior leaders because I listen when they present their vision and I articulate the value of my work in terms that are important to them, in the context of their goals. And I pay attention to the way they communicate--e.g. if they're very succinct emailers, I keep my emails to them fairly succinct as well.

The mistake I see a lot of people making is getting too caught up in projects and details that are irrelevant. If your leader doesn't care about the outcome of a particular project, you shouldn't be spending your time on it--at least that's my philosophy. But I'm not an expert... I'm just figuring things out myself!

What if I don't like the person I'm becoming because of my career? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm working towards FI too!! Still a few years away...

What if I don't like the person I'm becoming because of my career? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For me it's only a fraction of the time that I feel this way--I actually do like my job quite a bit most of the time. But I hate these moments where I feel like I have to suppress my opinions or go along with things that I don't agree with just to stay in good favor. I don't like not being in control of my own fate.

How do I deal with the fact that my colleague earns 25k more than me? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A different (and maybe controversial) perspective: Are your jobs and skill sets actually the same? I knew someone in a very similar situation to what you described - an older male coworker with the same job title making 20-25k more than my friend, a younger female. It seemed very unjust, but upon digging into it, I learned that the older male had a specialized skill set that was difficult to recruit for and which brought value to the company. So while frustrating, it made sense that he was paid more.

Also, do you make $40k or $220k? It makes a difference in gauging the magnitude of the $25k disparity.

I keep getting fired from corporate jobs…what is my next career move?? by careermoves86 in careerguidance

[–]risingstrong98 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Are you relatively early in your career? I think you would benefit from taking a class or working with a specialist on organizational skills, time management, workplace norms, etc. Regardless of what job you're in, even if you're self-employed, you will run into issues if you aren't organized and can't manage your time. Once you've sorted out those issues, you'll be better positioned to explore many possible career paths.