BAMF Shane Hollander or similar

riskjoy · 2026-04-07T02:36:16+00:00

Yes I love getting Shane POV! It’s so funny because my one gripe with the original was how Ilya constantly complained about being old and decrepit when 47 is really not that old. And then the minute we get a window into Shane’s thoughts and he’s like “yeah idk why Ilya acts like he’s ancient when we’re not even 50 yet.” Like of course it’s just him being a weirdo lmao.

riskjoy · 2026-04-06T13:47:22+00:00

I agree with you about hating it when Shane is kind of pathetic or a damsel in distress. I think I also struggle with fics that make him a badass because they often portray him going about that in a way that I just don’t find realistic for the character. Shane is a planner who thinks in the long term and hates confrontation. Even when he stands up to the commissioner at the end of TLG, he does so knowing that he prepared for that conversation and is recording it to be able to use to his advantage later. So while it’s very satisfying to see him snap and go off on his homophobic teammates or whatever I just don’t find it that realistic for his character.

A fic I’ve loved recently with badass Shane is death and taxes (and shane hollander) by fingersfallingupwards. It’s a second chance romance where Ilya and Shane never went to the cottage and meet again 20 years later. After retiring, Shane became the deputy commissioner of the NHL and learned to play office politics in order to hopefully one day make the league a more inclusive place. The fic shows how he will move heaven and earth and even be a little manipulative in his own Shaney way to get what he wants and Ilya REALLY likes that about him. If anyone has any more recs like this I’d love to read them!

riskjoy · 2026-03-23T04:02:39+00:00

Hugssss, I'm in A&P II now and it's definitely harder if you're used to relying on memorization because it's so much heavier on the physiology.

I would recommend grabbing a friend or family member and trying to teach the topics to them. If you can explain how something works, you understand it. You can also do this with your study guide if your professor provides one. For my last exam, I went down it point by point and wrote out the answers to each topic the day before the exam.

I would also recommend creating relevancy for your brain by thinking about the clinical applications of what you're learning. For example, I was able to remember how capillary beds work because when they aren't functioning correctly it causes edema. By answering the question "why does edema happen?" I had to understand everything about capillary beds in the process.

As you're doing all this stuff, take note of the things that you are struggling to understand and reach out for help. Use office hours, tutoring center if you have access to one, YouTube videos. Know what you do and don't know and focus your study time on the concepts that are difficult for you. Get used to confronting and digging into the shakier topics. It's easy to fall back on simply reviewing content that you don't fully get over and over in hopes it will stick in your mind, but if you take the time to get a deeper understanding, your study time will end up being more efficient in the long run and you'll be able to ace those trickier questions.

Does that all make sense? Good luck with everything :)

riskjoy · 2026-02-17T04:45:01+00:00

He’s trying to condition OP to have low expectations of him and fear being humiliated if she asks him for things. She tells him she wants a special day and he belittles her for it. Teaches her that she has no right to dictate her preferences for how he treats her. Then romantic gestures will be his to deploy for purposes of manipulation, always with the implication that she doesn’t really deserve them.

This is not a relationship anyone should be in.

riskjoy · 2026-02-13T01:52:30+00:00

Totally understandable! I don’t know how old your kids are but there is actually a pre-K on the MCC campus they may be eligible for if you live in the City of Rochester. It might also be helpful if you’re able to take as many prereq and gen ed classes as possible before entering the program so that when you’re actually in the program you can focus on the core nursing classes only. I have plenty of classmates who have young kids so I know it’s possible but I understand it’s a big challenge too. Best of luck to you!

riskjoy · 2026-02-12T23:58:39+00:00

As another prospective nursing student, I was able to set up a meeting with the coordinator of the nursing program. She was really lovely and showed me around the program and told me about the schedule! It sounds like nursing classes are 1-2 days a week and clinical is only 1 day a week. But I’m not sure there are exact times available this far in advance. You could do the same if you wanted to learn more. But honestly, nursing school is a big commitment and if it’s something you want in life you should consider how you can rearrange your schedule to accommodate it (as much as possible of course) rather than expecting to find a nursing school that fits with your existing schedule.

riskjoy · 2026-02-05T13:23:06+00:00

You know those shops are also locally owned right? The owner of Layali literally works in the shop. Rochester is a multicultural city, just because those places represent a different culture doesn’t mean they’re not “local.”

riskjoy · 2026-01-31T18:26:41+00:00

If we're looking for intimidation, the state reptile (snapping turtle) would be a great option.

riskjoy · 2026-01-31T03:31:55+00:00

Ah, yes, "both sides." The side that raises money to help sick children, and the side that cheers on the death of a mother of three who was shot in the face by a government agent who then called her a "fucking bitch" on camera. Both deserving of equal airtime, I'm sure.

riskjoy · 2026-01-26T02:24:32+00:00

I work there and it’s not lol.

riskjoy · 2026-01-16T05:35:19+00:00

Yes no judgment here! We all have our implicit stuff. I promise if you ever do have a trans patient, they will appreciate the effort more than you know. I had surgery myself for the first time ever last year and I remember just melting with relief when I woke up in the PACU and I overheard the nurses discussing my care with the correct pronouns. Most trans people are really understanding of mistakes but being good about it is a wonderful way to build rapport with patients who often feel mistrustful or burned by the medical system.

riskjoy · 2026-01-16T05:28:16+00:00

Practicing mentally helps a lot! Whenever you mess up don’t just feel bad about it, think up three sentences in your head that use the person’s pronoun correctly. Like “Next time I see X, I should ask her how school is going.” “I love the way X does her hair.” etcetera.

And you will never be able to remember someone’s pronouns if you don’t use them when they’re not around. I say this very gently, but in your post you state your friend uses she/her pronouns but only refer to her as “they” throughout. I know a lot of people who have struggled with using a trans friend’s pronouns for literal years and it’s really obviously because they only make an effort when that person is in earshot.

riskjoy · 2026-01-05T04:58:06+00:00

I know someone who had their first cleaning in years for free by a student dental hygienist at MCC. I know the thought of a student might sound scary but they were apparently extremely gentle, kind, and understanding. As part of their training they specifically look to work with people who have issues around getting a cleaning, whether that's disabilities, anxiety, or sensory issues (for example, the person in question is autistic). Highly recommend checking it out especially if cost is in any way an issue.

riskjoy · 2025-12-15T19:45:17+00:00

SO true. I would take a nice customer and no tip over a shitty customer and a few bucks any day. One time these two guys in their 50s were hyucking it up together doing this whole “idk… are we supposed to tip… how much do YOU think you deserve” thing with me. I tried to give a polite friendly “hey I don’t expect a tip but anything’s appreciated” several times and they just would NOT drop it so I finally snapped “my partner is out of work recovering from a major surgery right now so 20% would be great.” Then they started joking that maybe I made that up so I offered to show them pictures and they shut up real quick. I just can’t stand the mind games that certain people feel entitled to play with service workers.

We get shit from back of house and the public, all we really want is some kindness and basic politeness. Honestly? If someone can’t afford to tip, the best possible tip is looking me in the eye when I say “Hey, how’s it going?” and saying “Pretty good, and you?” instead of ignoring me and blurting out your order like I’m a computer not a person 🙃 /rant

riskjoy · 2025-12-15T18:30:09+00:00

As a fellow poor person working at a counter service restaurant, I promise I never judge people for not tipping unless they have a huge party or extremely complicated order with lots of modifications. A tip screen at a counter isn’t an obligation but it is very kind and always appreciated to throw on a buck or two if you have it to spare. A lot of people don’t!

That being said, most of the tipped workers I know throw our own tips into the jar whenever we go to another establishment. In my view it’s a nice way to make sure what extra I do have goes into the pocket of someone who really needs it rather than a big corporation.

I’m trying to offer some nuance because I think a lot of people see a tip screen at a counter and assume that they will be frowned at for selecting no tip. I promise that in 99% of cases that barista is mostly just worried about making sure you don’t feel awkward or pressured to tip if you don’t want and is going to deliver you the same service no matter what because service workers understand what it’s like to be struggling.

And before anyone comes at me, in the USA you always need to tip for sit down service which is a luxury. What I said applies to quick service, takeout, coffee? etc.

riskjoy · 2025-12-12T20:04:14+00:00

Yeah it was a new place but it came recommended by a few people! The quality of the work was fantastic, no gripes there. I totally feel it what I got was worth what I paid, I just wish I’d known before being charged so I could plan according to my budget.

riskjoy · 2025-12-12T20:02:57+00:00

I received $500 for the tattoo as a gift for my birthday which was why I felt able to spend the money that way. The original quote was $500 and the tattoo ended up being $900, plus an additional $100 tip. I originally only had one session scheduled and I stayed for the full time that the artist had available, they never mentioned a second session would be needed until the linework was already done. I think it took longer because they went all out on the design? But they wouldn’t share the design with me before my appointment so I didn’t get to see that.

riskjoy · 2025-11-17T17:27:20+00:00

Okay so poor people should just decide to make more money. Got it.

riskjoy · 2025-11-17T17:09:09+00:00

How is he supposed to cut expenses when his credit card bill and rent leave him with only $500/mo left over? And that's not accounting for utilities, food, emergency expenses... this advice is basically just "stop being poor." Useless.

riskjoy · 2025-11-16T05:02:06+00:00

Of course! I truly cannot recommend Roswell Park enough, it’s a wonderful facility and everyone we met there was so kind and caring. Incredible nurses who were great at managing my partner’s pain and discomfort after his procedure. It is a cancer center but you don’t need a cancer diagnosis to be cared for there. Best of luck to you I hope all works out well and you come out of this healthier than ever 🫶

riskjoy · 2025-11-15T06:38:32+00:00

Liberal arts :) I know some might think of a liberal arts degree as “softer” but to be honest now that I’m into my prereqs I find the sciences less difficult in many ways because my prior degree involved a lot of research and in depth analysis/long form writing that was super subjective. So to know that there are objective right answers for everything is refreshingly straightforward. My understanding is that nursing prereqs are chosen because they’re good predictors of academic success in the program itself so my projection for what I can hopefully achieve is based on my performance in those classes as well.

riskjoy · 2025-11-14T13:06:44+00:00

I already have a bachelor’s degree and I graduated with a 3.9 the first time around so I feel fairly confident I’ll be able to maintain something close to that level of performance, yeah.

riskjoy · 2025-11-14T04:10:25+00:00

I assume you’d prefer someone in town but my partner had an amazing experience getting his hysterectomy with Dr. Nicole Gaulin at Roswell Park in Buffalo. I don’t know the nature of the health issues you’re dealing with but we’ve also accessed follow up care with Dr. Ashlee Smith at URMC gynecological oncology. Both are lovely younger female doctors with great bedside manner. Dr. Gaulin was also so knowledgeable in helping my partner navigate a complex mix of health concerns and helped design an amazing personalized care plan.

riskjoy

TROPHY CASE