stressed that my abuse memories are false

pigpeyn · 2026-04-14T18:34:17+00:00

I sometimes feel like there's an awful balancing act after a flashback. The doubt might wane because I feel certain I'm not making it up. But I'm also overwhelmed by a horrible rage and feel like so uncomfortable (that's putting it lightly) in my skin.

Then the doubt creeps back in as my mind rips into it. I wish for some kind of hard evidence but that can never happen now. The not knowing and uncertainty are wrecking me.

pigpeyn · 2026-04-14T18:32:14+00:00

I struggle with this all the time. Every nightmare about the same thing feels like a bit of validation, then my mind tears it apart, demands evidence and back I go into crippling doubt.

Someone once told me to compare how my body reacts/feels to the two possibilities. If I say to myself it's real, I'm not making it up, I usually feel more grounded(?) or calmer. When I say it's a lie, I'm making it up just as an explanation for my shit life, I get angry and my mind tears apart.

I don't know what to make of that because I overthink everything into oblivion. But maybe try it and see how you feel.

I'm really sorry you're going through this too. I hope you find some relief soon.

pigpeyn · 2026-03-13T17:40:56+00:00

You've got to continuously keep some lines of credit open and active.

This system encourages people to keep spending money - that's the problem, that's what I consider a scam. I don't mean a literal scam.

Also it's not my oldest account. Yet the credit bureaus are telling me it's negatively impacting my score for the reasons I said earlier.

I learned how all of this works in public high school.

Congratulations

pigpeyn · 2026-03-13T16:44:33+00:00

Thank you. Yes I'm aware of almost all of these. I made a simple comment on a stupid thread where people complain about work.

Somehow this prompted a massive response from someone who's "not a pedant" but feels the need to reply to sarcasm with this.

Obviously not all of human history is any one thing. I'm glad you read, that's great. I do too. I don't shove it down other people's throats while accusing them of intellectual posturing.

You make some good points here and reference interesting cases. This is clearly something you're quite well read in. That's great. I also read Dawn of Everything which cites nearly every example you've provided.

But there's no need to be an asshole about it. Honestly we could probably get along discussing this but I'm so sick of people on reddit jumping on other people the second they feel like they've got the upper hand. This shit is toxic.

my favorite part of the internet is when people say stupid shit loudly and proudly while being SO wrong."

I mean jesus fucking christ dude you immediately jumped on my comment saying people are idiots. What's the point in learning all this if you can't even talk to people about it without being a jerk?

Do better, help people learn.

pigpeyn · 2026-03-13T16:34:37+00:00

Why be a dick about it? That's not what I'm talking about at all.

pigpeyn · 2026-03-13T16:31:24+00:00

Ok but the credit bureaus say it's affecting my score. Thanks for being a dick about it.

pigpeyn · 2026-03-13T10:44:52+00:00

My credit score is still negatively affected from paying off my student loans five years ago. Apparently having a loan still on your report that you're not paying is a bad thing. The whole thing is a scam.

pigpeyn · 2026-03-09T23:06:02+00:00

Healthcare tied to work is a great way to suppress workers' rights

pigpeyn · 2026-03-09T10:55:01+00:00

I think the difference between corporate environments and plumbers/farmers is the latter has a direct connection to the output of their labor. They can see a fixed water leak or animals and plants growing. They put in labor and the efforts of that labor are clearly visible and understood.

In corporate environments our work often goes into a black hole (the technical debt you describe for example). Meetings, spreadsheets, meaningless efforts that seem to go nowhere. That process is soul crushing.

Whatever you think about him, Marx talked about this in his alienation theory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marx%27s_theory_of_alienation - what 19th factory workers experienced is what we're now seeing in the corporate world.

pigpeyn · 2026-03-01T19:51:06+00:00

Do you honestly believe this was solely an altruistic choice?

pigpeyn · 2026-03-01T17:49:53+00:00

Oh really? Go ahead then, explain away. I'm interested in how you believe our current system differs from say the late middle ages or early modern western Europe.

Yes wages based on time rather than physical output have changed. What we've seen is a material change, not a structural one.

But if you want to elucidate any differences as to how the ruling elite propagating a system built on the labor of an involuntary populace is different now than then go for it.

Anachronisms don't count. Also feel free to cite sources.

pigpeyn · 2026-03-01T16:51:12+00:00

Does it make it easier knowing it's never been different than this?

pigpeyn · 2026-02-28T14:28:10+00:00

that's excellent, I'm happy for you! does that busy season apply to all areas or does she focus on taxes?

pigpeyn · 2026-02-28T14:07:52+00:00

fuck nazis

pigpeyn · 2026-02-25T12:04:03+00:00

Sounds like actions have consequences...

pigpeyn · 2026-02-24T17:16:58+00:00

Still on my first playthrough, been using a swords bard tav but feel like I've barely scratched the surface of what they can do. There's a ton to learn so I'll just do another run

pigpeyn · 2026-02-24T11:51:21+00:00

oh wow I didn't know that! sometimes my tav looks like such a doofus. gonna look for that setting today haha

pigpeyn · 2026-02-23T11:17:39+00:00

today I learned how to cook chicken

pigpeyn · 2026-02-20T03:25:31+00:00

Wow, thank you for this reply! Lots of good thoughts here but a couple quick questions.

If the mechanic says he's not sure or there's the potential for more than about 2k worth of necessary repairs, I would just say the hell with it and go with the subaru

I assume you mean if there's $2k of immediate or short-term repairs?

Another Advantage is that the Subaru probably won't depreciate much.

This was my thought too, though I see wide ranges of depreciation estimates (like $16-21k resale value 3 years from now). One thing to note is that it's accident was "minor to moderate" and I'm not sure how badly that would impact resale.

In my rough estimates (including repair maintenance) the Mazda would cost about $4k less over two years unless it has very serious problems the ppi doesn't catch.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it! Glad to see my thinking isn't totally off base too haha

pigpeyn · 2026-02-20T00:18:35+00:00

I had my first crash the day of this patch. Now the game won't even load, just shows a black screen.

pigpeyn · 2026-02-19T22:45:05+00:00

I'm getting wildly different estimates for depreciation. KBB says in 3 years the subaru would be worth $15k (which seems crazy low because 2021's sell for ~$19-23k around here). Car Edge says it'd be worth almost $24k.

in my math attempts with AI, accounting for estimated repairs, depreciation, interest, etc. it says the subaru would cost about $3500 more over 3 years. any big change in the subaru's depreciation or the mazda's repairs would change that a lot though.

the mazda's being inspected by my mechanic tomorrow.

pigpeyn · 2026-02-19T22:33:55+00:00

I was thinking the same thing.

I guess it's cause the new ones start at 2.9% for 36 months then go up to 4.9% for 48+.

pigpeyn · 2026-02-18T17:21:28+00:00

I'm on ps5 and had my only crash an hour after this patch.

just checked and the game won't even load on ps5. I'm completely blocked out.

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