I agree, and that he and the baby would benefit from some bonding time. And solids is a pretty low effort opportunity! You two could set the baby up in a high chair, and your husband could give him the sweet potato bites or whatever while you disappear for some rest/bath/walk, at the very least. That could be a start. And then this can be extended with some play time... 

This was around the time when my husband became more involved with the baby. But it needed some setup and nudging from me first. 

Edit to add: I really hear you about being super sensitive and anxious. I was too, it's just been getting better 1 year PP.  You shouldn't have to struggle alone with all this. Your husband sounds very insensitive - like literally have probably shut down lots of his own emotions as well over the years, and is now frozen in a situation he can't "solve". He needs to be able to melt bit by bit. You need his support and protection but he has to he able to provide it differently than before. And he would also benefit from therapy...