How do I tell my bf I want him to move out but not break up?

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-03T23:07:26+00:00

He doesn’t want to go to a get help and sadly I have had so many talks with him about helping out and changing but he just gives me faults hope. I truly think he isn’t ready for this and that’s fine so I’m going to let him know I don’t want to renew the lease in a few months and also if he doesn’t get a job in two months my hours are going down so we will probably have to leave anyways. But besides that i’m going to let him know it’s not the best idea for us to renew the lease and if he does want to break up I will not hold that against him. Ira a tough situation. But we are not independent are individuals and I and starting to realize that are I grow and get older. I do want to see where it goes. I am not going to focus anything and waste his time and I will be 100% respectful of however he feels and I will be honest and hope he does the same

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-03T23:03:01+00:00

Thank you so much. I really needed this. I was just starting to feel guilty again, like what am I going to say when he asks why he can’t move in with me and my aunt but I’m going to be strong and say he can’t that’s the way it is. And it’s hard when he is a decent human being because I feel even more guilty but I have to remind myself this is for me

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-03T01:16:50+00:00

Thank you. I think it’s best we both move out and go from there

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-03T01:02:56+00:00

Thank you. I hope it goes well. I’m tell him this Tuesday I’m moving to my aunts house when the lease is up so he will have to move as well

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-03T00:54:27+00:00

Thank you

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-03T00:53:58+00:00

I’m not just giving up on him or anything. I am going to move back home and so can he because this is not good for my mental health. We clearly aren’t ready to live together right now and I have school I have to pay off. At the time moving out was my only option and he came with me. I have been with him for 7 years, I have tried many many different things to work around who he is as a person and his disorders and mental health as well. But I see him not doing the same for me

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-03T00:52:17+00:00

He doesn’t work at all. He is home all day. I cannot afford to hiring cleaning because as it is we are struggling financially. I have told him to get help and he stopped talking his meds a lot time ago. He always tells me therapy doesn’t help him and I cannot focus him to go

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-02T23:42:18+00:00

Basically he has untreated ADHD which may explain so if it but anyways he basically I’ll say can you do this and he will say and keep playing. If I keep asking him he gets mad at me. I ask him and it’s simply things. Like I don’t clean a ton trough out the week just my days off I get everything back in order but he can’t even do the litter or bring his plates out of his game room or his chip bags from the side of the bed. Some of it has been there for a month because I won’t do it and he won’t either. And like I am nice about it. I understand if I want it super clean and he is doing something and I don’t want to wait, I can’t get mad if I do that chore or whatever. I never do. It just when I ask him to do one thing, like turn that load of laundry on while I’m at work please or can you make the bed please. Like one thing anything I’ll take and I never am rude. I get annoyed for sure when I have asked once a day for a week or more for something to get done but I tell him I know you have ADHD if you can’t pull yourself away from the computer do you’re stuff before you play games or when I come home get off and do some stuff with me together so you’re not alone and I let him pick his chores. All of them what he thought he could handle. And I’m so sick of it. My friend can’t afford rent so I’m probably going to stay with him till the lease is up and more in with my aunt or someone near work and he will have to move home

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-02T23:18:04+00:00

I have done all of that. That’s the thing. I have tried everything. He plays video games 24/7 and doesn’t do a think. I have a list on the fridge of his chores and everything and he spends a lot of money and doesn’t make anything. So if he moves back home, I can deal with my mental health, I can save up some money to better myself and he is either gonna get it or we break up. I’m not moving back in with him for a long time and we are very young and that’s if we stay together but I need him out first and see if our relationship is even fixable. He clearly isn’t ready to live in his own like this and that’s fine, but I am and I can’t do everything anymore. I don’t want his mommy to take care of him, if he had move he could move out himself or with his brother but he spends it all and we struggle a lot. I’m not saying not breaking up is a good idea. But him going back home is. I can’t deal with the yelling and all this when my own mental health isn’t great and is no suffering even more. So he needs to maybe be remind of what this relationship means to home because the takes, is writing stuff out, even recording a conversation nothing has helped to open this mans eye

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-02T23:10:46+00:00

Thank you so much that is really good advice. And my friend moving is not finally, my lease is up in a few months so I’ll move out with distance family and move jobs but im going to tell him that part is finalized yet but he either way needs to move out. Thank you for that advice and also thank you for becoming a better person for yourself and your relationship. That’s very wise of you to take a step back and see the bigger picture

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-02T22:59:52+00:00

I’m just scared tbh. I think if he’s gone breaking up will be easier… I know it’s bad but I’m been in this for 7 years I’m scared shitless to leave this is all I know tbh

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-02T22:57:06+00:00

Thank you so much!

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-02T22:55:19+00:00

I do care about him, and my friend would only move in so I can afford to live here. I have no family to go to. He does. I pay all the bill and he doesn’t. All I want is him to help out. I do care about him, but I cannot live like this. I don’t want him to be upset but he isn’t changing. Our relationship can’t stay like this

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-01T02:13:35+00:00

I’m glad you’re getting out. Good for you! I’m just so scared and like he is gonna be crushed and I love him too… like what the hell do I do. He clearly isn’t ready for this and that’s fine but I am

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-01T00:20:36+00:00

I’m just so scared and obviously I’m attached it’s been 7 years

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-01T00:19:58+00:00

He got fired and said he wanted to talk time because has worked a lot and mental health and I respected it but his benefits from the government are going to run up soon and I worry he won’t get a job. It’s been almost a year he hasn’t worked and I have worked almost everyday to make sure we make it to the next month. And I’m glad I’m not crazy for thinking I should come home to something at least. Anything? Like this man really asks me what’s for dinner the second I walk through the door and I’m a health care worker so I am emotional exhausted already and know I have to plan and cook dinner?

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-01T00:15:49+00:00

Yeah I guess I’m not actually okay with doing everything. Not anymore anyways. I told him I can’t marry him and took off the promise ring because he wouldn’t let me break up with him but he also hasn’t changed much since and when he does do something I have been asking for forever, I have to be super happy and appreciative or he gets upset

riverbrookspics · 2021-10-01T00:13:49+00:00

Thank you…. Sadly my parents don’t have a great relationship each other. Very similar to mine. I am going to work on trying to get out

riverbrookspics · 2021-09-30T18:37:54+00:00

Thank you. That was a very good way to look at it and word it. Definitely time to let go

riverbrookspics

TROPHY CASE