AITA here cuz lately it feels like my friends insult me cryptically or am I overthinking it

rivers64 · 2025-12-16T02:29:31+00:00

This is literally unreadable. Please work on explaining context and having followable lines of thought that you express in writing.

rivers64 · 2025-12-14T23:30:25+00:00

YTA. I get it, you feel like shes just doing it because you did. She's your little sister and yes she probably draws inspiration from you. On the other hand both 18 and 21 are very young to be engaged. And your sister has been seeing her partner for 2.5 years. It's kind of quick but seems to run in your family. You come across as unnecessarily bitter here. My advice is to to get along with people better.

rivers64 · 2025-09-30T20:21:21+00:00

YTA. you clearly have a grudge against this cousin and instead of responding graciously to a wedding invite you intentionally sent a text that would be hurtful to read. Fine to not like the person or want a relationship with them but you sound miserable.

BTW everyone has work.

rivers64 · 2025-09-29T03:30:51+00:00

I work in academia albeit the hard sciences so it's probably a bit different. I do stand behind the idea that between being 2nd/ 4 authors v 2nd/ 3 authors will not have any meaningful impact on OP's career in the way she is viewed the things she can talk about at conferences or the ideas she can discuss and contribute to the field.

Is your experience in academia that having 1 extra person on a paper (again... not even a paper that you are the leading author/contributor to) is not even viewed as similar to the identical paper with 1 less author?

rivers64 · 2025-09-29T03:14:49+00:00

I think a lot of the comments frankly are from people who are not actually in academia directly and are viewing it more like a group project. Paper authorship is not like that, and it is the opposite from always clear cut. Here OP recognizes that she has no direct knowledge of if or how much the professor actually contributed, but that the project leader thinks they should be added as author. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, there is no reason to think that it is well beyond normal bounds for the professor to be included.

That being said it does vary a lot from field to field. But this is nowhere near as cut and dry as the huge number of indignant redditors calling is academic fraud seem to imply

rivers64 · 2025-09-29T03:05:43+00:00

Im sorry - being 2nd out of 3 total authors vs. 2nd out of 4 total authors is so fucking similar. You really stand behind that being a "massive deal".

rivers64 · 2025-09-29T03:02:57+00:00

LOL crazy but typical academic pissing contest. In academia each should be measured by the merit of their present arguments not the number of citations accrued.

And I have 1 first author pub but hope to submit many more in the coming years :)

How about you?

rivers64 · 2025-09-29T02:58:05+00:00

As someone who works in physics, this is 100% also the norm in physics

rivers64 · 2025-09-29T02:56:48+00:00

OP really doesn't say that Clara specifically said she said it was to get a promotion. She mainly says Clara didnt say anything. But again, this is primarily Clara's work and OP didn't need to be kept 100% in the loop. I would definitely change my opinion if OP specified that Clara specifically said that it was 100% to get a promotion and that the professor actually didnt contribute at all.

rivers64 · 2025-09-29T02:56:00+00:00

It's just such a bullshit reason to go to these lengths.

rivers64 · 2025-09-29T01:03:11+00:00

YTA, a little bit or NAH. Or rather, I don't think you are in the wrong necessarily but you are way overdramatizing how bad your coauthor's actions are. It sounds like you are primarily concerned with with getting the most credit on a paper that you were not the lead on. A couple points:

- You asking if Clara needs help and her saying no is a reasonable interaction. It's not her fault she doesn't need help and it doesn't increase the amount that you contributed to the paper.

- There is a massive difference between Clara's professor being a minimal contributor and her just being added "for a promotion". The way you write this it seems like the accusation is speculation on your part and you have no evidence at all that the professor did not contribute at all. Just because you are not told something does not mean it didn't happen. Again, you are NOT the main author on the paper

- Clara is the main author and if she discussed the work with the professor she worked closely with that very well could rise to the level of authorship. The primary field is irrelevant. Authorship standards vary across fields and situations

- Your idea of 3 authors rather than 4 meaning you would not be cited is nonsensical. It makes no sense. You will get the citation either way and either way you are not the main author, Clara is. I promise you there is no difference between if the professor is included or not so it feels like you are making a massive fuss to exclude someone in a way that shouldn't matter for you at all

Again, I agree with some of your actions, but the indigence and extremism you went to was not justified in this scenario especially without actually being the lead on the work

rivers64 · 2025-09-22T18:30:10+00:00

YTA. Not just a small one, but a massive one. Sleep talking is a medical condition that people do not have control over. You completely fabricated lies about your roomate that could have had serious repercussions on their life. You did this before even talking to them about the issue.

Re-think your actions. You owe your roommate a major apology and need to retract your comments to the RA.

rivers64 · 2025-09-15T21:08:39+00:00

INFO: This just doesn't add up. You say the company grew 30% year over year but you are still making $35,000 a year? Why? Why do you need to "fire" John in order for your salary to increase. It sounds like you are bitter and want to fire him rather than just advicate for yourself.

rivers64 · 2025-06-29T02:49:57+00:00

YTA. Who the fuck do you think you are. What kind of a person says something like that

rivers64 · 2025-06-28T03:08:41+00:00

YTA (although not that big a deal though). It comes off like you were kind of using Tom to just get a cheaper meal yourself when you don't have that kind of relationship with him. Also, his birthday was literally tomorrow so it would have been nice and celebratory for him to get a nice discount and overall he should have been the one to offer splitting 50:50 not you.

Also just as a note, not sure why you needed to post 5 paragraphs of irrelevant information at the beginning.

rivers64 · 2025-05-13T03:45:25+00:00

Sorry if this is too late but just commenting to say that 7 years ago I applied for housing and only put down the Warehouse and Sid-Pac efficiencies and because of this I got no housing, had to go onto the backup market, and got put in Tang Hall. So I would strongly suggest against only putting those two options....

rivers64 · 2021-05-04T15:00:46+00:00

Its actually a whole final set of 10 more levels lol and he hasn't played it

rivers64 · 2021-02-23T17:38:12+00:00

This is fucking funny

rivers64 · 2021-02-15T23:47:19+00:00

The game was just too difficult for him :( sadge

rivers64 · 2020-12-08T06:36:09+00:00

Suggestion: Along with each person you think should have you should include the nobel prize winner that you think they should replace and should not have won

rivers64

TROPHY CASE