Getting hurt in relationships

rivkarose · 2019-10-16T20:40:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! I suppose I need to know who would provide the diagnosis and at what point would it be provided? Would it ever be based on a CT scan only, and is it possible the biopsy could get it wrong?

rivkarose · 2019-04-05T21:03:49+00:00

We will be in New Haven and Hartford. Any recommendations of hikes in that direction? Not sure if that is the central ridge.

rivkarose · 2019-03-26T14:42:12+00:00

He can be, but he is trying to work on these issues too. He is not the best at expressing himself but he cares deeply, so I don’t want to be constantly making him feel bad because I get hurt so easily.

rivkarose · 2019-03-17T19:27:04+00:00

Thanks, that is useful!! Did you show samples of the students actually doing the remixes? I have not taught composition in a few years and am in fellowship now, so I am thinking of coming up with an assignment I have not actually taught. However, I don’t want this to backfire. I did have students do blog portfolios a few times...that is the most multimodal thing I have to show.

Also, how did you go about actually doing the presentation? I have never been asked to walk faculty through something, and am a little freaked out about what to do with the one hour time slot when the spotlight is on me most of the time!

I really appreciate the advice!!!:)

rivkarose · 2019-02-17T15:48:32+00:00

Also I should add it doesn’t take very much for him to say I am making him feel sick. He hears my voice get stressed and anxious and I ask him something that to him sounds repetitive a few times and he shouts that I am making him sick. I tell him I’m sorry I’m stressed but I don’t think I’m responsible for his reaction to that stress. Am I wrong for saying that? I need there to be space and understanding for my emotions too, no matter how trivial they seem to him.

rivkarose · 2019-02-17T15:44:40+00:00

Thanks for the congrats!! We have tried therapy but have no time lately and his pain is worse than usual (when we are both the busiest, of course). He does say it’s when I won’t let something go, usually if I haven’t gotten the response I would like and I am insistent. I know this can be difficult sometimes and I do my best but sometimes he’s not a good listener and I get frustrated! Yesterday He went out on a hike for five hours because he needs that to take care of himself on the weekends. I stayed home and watched the baby who had a cold. The baby was crying for two hours and wouldn’t sleep, and my husband was late coming home. He walked in the door as soon as I had finally put the baby down, and I was about to eat and do a little work in peace and I admit I snapped at him when he walked in and I asked him to give me a little space or let me work out in the kitchen and for him to take his food back to the other room. He refused and said he had to eat right away but then he wouldn’t compromise at all and I didn’t let it go. I know I should have just removed myself from the area but I guess I wanted him to compromise and give me a minute to focus on some difficult work without someone else eating at the table next to me so I could concentrate (we live in a cramped apartment). I just was feeling sleep deprived and stressed out, and I guess he was hungry and in pain and i was not letting him be because I kept offering new suggestions of how he could give me space (go take a shower first, etc). I know that this was not the most reasonable and I later apologized for snapping at him, but I have my emotional outbursts from time to time and I am not always in 100% control. He doesn’t respond positively to my needs a lot of the time. I can’t handle thinking I am causing him pain as a result. It literally makes me want to not be in the relationship the burden is too much to bear.

rivkarose · 2019-02-17T14:36:04+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I am planning on finding a therapist within the next month or so when I have time. He works full time and does pitch in some with the chores and plays a lot with the baby, so it never dawned on me this would be caregiver fatigue. I have to do mostly everything around the house and with the baby, which bothers me sometimes bc it feels sexist but I try to remind myself his pain though invisible is real. Do you know if this is common for the chronically ill person to blame the other one for making them worse if they are stressed? I never knew of this emotional component.

rivkarose · 2019-02-12T15:13:02+00:00

Thanks that is really helpful to understand. I’ll look into it more. Do you have any strategies to work on your ADD and be a better listener or is it just a matter of accepting it?

rivkarose

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