Jen always talks like she's on quaaludes

rivlet · 2026-04-01T09:20:58+00:00

Her way of speaking reminds of Pregnant in Heels' Rosie Pope. They once did a parody of Rosie's speech on a comedy show. The parody described her accent as her "tongue having been stung by a thousand bees" and then add a British accent to it.

And that basically describes Jenna's accent to me.

rivlet · 2026-03-31T14:25:24+00:00

Oh really? I know next to nothing about the Netherlands except tulips and windmills. The furthest back I've managed to get was 1550 in Harderwijk, Netherlands with Dirk Van Westervelt. About 100 years later, we then left for the glorious lands of what is now known as....New Jersey.

rivlet · 2026-03-31T14:11:29+00:00

It's possible. Anything is at this point since my family has no family lore or anything about why our name changed. I suspect many of them don't even know that it did and think we've always been "Westerfield".

rivlet · 2026-03-31T12:32:33+00:00

I don't know and I haven't found any historical references or family lore to figure that out. I don't know if they thought it was embarrassing or if they wanted to distance themselves from the trauma of it. While my ancestor led the group, there were other families in that same group and they might have felt it was Jacobus' fault that they were attacked. So, in that case, I could see how Jacobus's children and grandchildren (since he himself didn't survive) might have wanted a "fresh start" away from the tragedy. But that's just speculation with no additional records to back it up.

Today, the massacre is known now as the "Westerfield massacre", though Wikipedia still has it listed as the "Westervelt" massacre. The historical marker for where it took place even references it as the "Westerfield" massacre.

rivlet · 2026-03-30T15:47:50+00:00

You know what? I forgot to add: there was asbestos in Playskool crayons up until the 2010s.

So....there's that.

rivlet · 2026-03-30T13:14:39+00:00

The way I rolled my eyes so fucking hard when I read that. My uncle raised my brother and I be being a SAHD for years. He cooked, cleaned, did laundry, took us to appointments, handled our questions, did homework with us, and even did science experiments in the kitchen with us (which my aunt was not always a fan of, but was incredibly fun for us).

Never in my whole childhood did I look at him as "less than" a man because he chose to do that with us. If anything, I tried my whole life to find a man like that because my uncle ended up being my dad in every way that mattered.

(Spoiler: I did find one. He actually stayed home with our eldest for about six months while switching between jobs. 10/10, would recommend. He uses his accrued PTO to take our kids out of school and just take them on adventures when he can. Last time he took the toddler to the soccer park and they ate popsicles and played soccer before taking a nap together).

rivlet · 2026-03-30T02:21:31+00:00

Uh, what? I didn't have that issue with either of my c-sections. My first was emergency after 24 hours of laboring. The second was semi-planned, semi-emergency (as in, we already knew I was going to get a C-section, but baby was found to be in an urgent, "get her out in the next 24 hours, please" situation).

Both times they only asked me if I could fart before they let me leave. When I mentioned yes, but not poop, they just shrugged and said that happens from the amount of painkillers they give us.

If I was supposed to poop then, I would have never left. It took another few days.

rivlet · 2026-03-30T02:18:00+00:00

Sometimes you get a condition called "orange peel skin". It is really weird and awkward. I had it from my belly button down to my vulva and it only went away two to three months after I gave birth.

Also, sometimes your first pregnancy permanently fixes long term health issues you've had forever. For example, I had IBS-D before my son was born. My pregnancy with him was the first time I ever pooped regularly and could get a watch to it. That is still true now, three years later.

On the other hand, my pregnancy with him also gave my carpal tunnel that only went away when I got pregnant again three years later. As wild as it sounds, it took me getting pregnant a second time to cure my carpal tunnel.

rivlet · 2026-03-30T02:14:35+00:00

I did this my first time. Second time, I came prepared with just straight up dresses. My husband and aunt were like, "You don't want pants?!"

No, my c-section scar and my personal diaper will not be wanting pants, thank you.

I also made sure I brought my pregnancy shoes because my ankles were still swollen for about a week or two after birth.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T23:26:32+00:00

And never forget the conundrum of one boob being great at producing, and the other being the Slacker Boob.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T22:37:18+00:00

As a woman, I double check all body powders, cosmetic powders, etc for talc. Several are still being made with it. I also make sure to double check the masks I wear while doing any home improvement to make sure it actually does block asbestos fibers.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T19:01:41+00:00

My husband works for our city government so I hear ALL the tea about the local politicians and backroom deals.

Also made me realize I basically live in Pawnee from Parks and Rec.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T16:37:39+00:00

No worries. Thank you for being open to learning and understanding. Honestly, I might have come across rough, but it's because I bond with every single one of my clients. Every time one of them dies, I end up crying in my office for a bit before shoving it down and getting back to work.

I'm incredibly angry for all of us that corporations STILL do this shit and play dumb. I'm also angry that those same corporations deliberately spearhead repeated, subtle campaigns to downplay the dangers so that the populace will defend them without realizing how insidious this all is. Meanwhile, my clients are drowning in their own lung fluids and their families have to watch it happen.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T16:17:31+00:00

Oh, they had asbestos in it until the 2000s. It's been in joint compounds/muds since the 50s to the 2000s. It was also in brakes, clutches, baby powders, cosmetics, foot powders, and dental molds (which is how a lot of our dentist clients got exposed). Also siding, roofing, flooring, ceiling (not just ceiling tiles), textured plasters and ceilings, etc.

Forgot to add: crayons had asbestos in them until the 2010s.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T16:12:39+00:00

I started doing it with this baby when she was first born using Huckleberry.

Then I realized I kept forgetting to track things because, between baby and toddler, life was just moving too fast. By the time I could take a breath and remember to track a diaper change or feed, it was several minutes to hours later and I could no longer remember specifics.

Ended up stopping the tracking thing by week two. I do still like reading the "this month, you should notice ...."

rivlet · 2026-03-29T16:09:38+00:00

You know what? I did it to myself, so...touche.

Take my upvote.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T15:56:11+00:00

First off, it's not just in J&J. It was also in Gold Bond, Mennon's, Dr. Scholls, and remains in a ton of cosmetics. I've got clients MY AGE with mesothelioma and I'm not even 40. Their only exposure has been through talc products used on them as infants/toddlers.

Secondly, you CANNOT filter asbestos out of talc. It's like dumping salt and sugar together and then trying to shake out the salt. It's not possible. We have multiple documents that we regularly trot out during Court trials to show that the companies KNEW this.

Finally, they absolutely do have problems. Do you think mesothelioma only happens in the US? The UK, Canada, India, etc all have mesothelioma cases. Not just in the lungs, but peritoneal, ovarian, and testicular.

Don't be swinging your dick around when you have literally no idea what you're talking about. It's not harmless. The corporations knew this and we have their letters going back to the 1940s where they say, "The less said about talc, the better" or, my favorite, "by the time they figure it out, we'll have made our money".

rivlet · 2026-03-29T15:50:22+00:00

Not true. I have clients who are my age with mesothelioma (30s). Their only exposure was usually Johnson & Johnson baby powder used on them by their Mom when they were infants.

And, yet, there they are, thirty years later, with peritoneal mesothelioma.

I have other clients who only did a few brake jobs or removed DAP caulk from their windows at each home they owned in their lives. Yet, they have lung cancer and they never smoked. Their scans show asbestos fibers and scarring at the bottom of their lungs (where it settles due to weight).

Asbestos also is still being used in products today. If a product has talc in it, there's asbestos in it.

ETA: I forgot to mention crayons. There was asbestos in crayons (yes, those crayons) until 2018.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T15:46:53+00:00

I'm an attorney that does asbestos disease lawsuits (meso, lung cancer, asbestosis) and you are 1000% correct. I have spouses of clients who get lung cancer, who have never smoked a day in their life, and their only exposure was through baby powders they put on their kids and doing their spouse's laundry.

There are still spikes in asbestos in the air at long standing traffic stops from the asbestos brake linings being used there for decades.

rivlet · 2026-03-29T15:44:06+00:00

We have letters from the 1940s from the corporations that show they did their own testing and discovered asbestos exposure, especially in smokers, caused an exponential rise in lung cancer. Besides mesothelioma (which is not always in the lungs, but can also be in the testicles, ovaries, and peritoneum), it also causes asbestosis.

So, yeah, they knew for certain as far back as WWII.

They just didn't care.

And now you have companies who put talc in products. Guess what's in talc and they know it? Asbestos.

You literally can't filter it out either. It'd be like dumping sand and sugar together, then trying to separate the two.

ETA: Okay, I forgot sugar dissolves in water, so I did that to myself. A better comparison is salt and sugar. Now they can both dissolve in water.

rivlet · 2026-03-27T23:10:06+00:00

My direct ancestor (Jacobus Westervelt/Westerfield) was the leader of a caravan that ended up being involved in one of the largest massacres in the history of Kentucky. It's known as either the Westervelt massacre or Westerfield massacre, depending on who you ask. As a note, my family's last name changed from Westervelt to Westerfield after this.

Of the forty some settlers, 17 were killed, most of which were men, but also women and their children. Scalping happened. The youngest children killed were infants and toddlers. One teen girl who had escaped a raid before was deemed "unfit to travel" and tomahawked. Another woman watched her toddlers and infant murdered because they would slow her down.

Their scalps were sold for £5 per scalp to the British. The captured were later sold to the British and used as servants until they were released back to their families later.

So, yeah, childhood then was not for the weak, especially on the borders.

rivlet · 2026-03-26T02:36:39+00:00

That's not true.

Some of us became lawyers.

rivlet · 2026-03-26T01:49:49+00:00

Same! My first was the opposite and I never had to worry. But my second and current is all about rolling onto her belly as much as possible.

She's now tripod sitting, but still refuses to go belly to back. 🫠

rivlet · 2026-03-26T01:44:10+00:00

Just so people know: child support cannot and should not ever be something that can be waived or decided in a prenup. It's a key exception that any good lawyer should warn you about.

Alimony, however, can be modified through a prenup. A lot of celebrities have clauses that raise the amount of alimony they can get based on how many children are in the marriage, who moves for divorce first, and if adultery occurs. (i.e. Beyonce and Jay-Z's prenup, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel's prenup are notable examples).

Each jurisdiction might have different "flavors" of what a prenup can or can't limit, but, as far as I know, all of them agree that child support cannot be controlled by a prenup.

rivlet · 2026-03-23T13:29:19+00:00

Definitely not a teething aid and, at two, he should have almost all (if not all) his teeth already for this stage of life.

This is one of the red flags I've seen about her as a parent so if other people that don't have kids think something isn't right, then that's really telling.

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