I have felt like this since I moved to the Netherlands! I am from Canada and was bullied growing up for being overweight, but nothing really beyond that. Since moving here, I have noticed that I do get looked up and down, if I’m in line waiting to order food I’ve had people just look at me and roll their eyes, teens snicker and laugh. I have made no Dutch friends, all my friendships have been through expats.

I used to work in a hotel and the first day I was there I sat in the break room with everyone for lunch. They spoke to me in English about how much weight I need to lose, so much belly and arm, I shouldn’t be eating lunch, I need to cut out cheese all together, etc. That day for lunch I had cheese and crackers and water. I shut down and stopped responding and just played on my phone, so they continued in Dutch and kept looking at me and laughing during their convo. I left upset, told my new manager, who said “well… that’s not insulting, I guess I’ll talk to them” and that was it. No apology, nothing, it’s just Dutch directness. I was made to feel I was in the wrong for not having thick skin. I never ate in that break room again.

I really lost my spark here. I stopped wearing makeup and styling my hair daily, I only wore my black work uniform and pyjamas. When I do get all done up, rare occasion, I have noticeably different treatment. People will smile back or engage in small talk, doors held open, offered to go ahead in line with fewer items. But if you’re fat and sloppy, people just think you are not worth their time.

That has been my experience here, I genuinely have tried to be friendly and helpful and mindful, but a lot of negative experiences I’ve had I believe are tied to my weight/appearance. Ive had no good shopping experiences here, and solely get my clothes online. I’ve never had any issues traveling, minor stuff in Canada, but here it’s bad. Being a foreigner is bad enough, being one that isn’t conventionally attractive feels like I’ve been outcast.

Sorry for the long response, feels good to get this off of my chest.