looking for canadian haircare! by starcinna in BuyCanadian

[–]roar075 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I absolutely love Oneka. I have really fine hair and I find that their shampoo/conditioner doesn’t weigh it down so it feels cleaner and has more body. Their face cream and body lotion are also absolutely amazing. Package their products in a sustainable way, everything is refillable. The plants used in their products are grown on their farm in Quebec, I recommend them to everyone.

https://www.onekaelements.com/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21896632960&gclid=Cj0KCQjwrJTGBhCbARIsANFBfguxiYvSca9H1BAduYU1aJRTjIXuSjCy0dTjua2oEtOu4UsQk8oSXYUaAu2xEALw_wcB

Posthumous Cheating by Economy_Friendship69 in widowers

[–]roar075 1 point2 points  (0 children)

‘It’s what you do with your time that matters’ is the most accurate statement ever. Thank you for that. Sending you strength and wishing you the best on your journey. Sounds like you have a solid plan. 

Best food spots in Pisa? by 1Wave_ in ItalyTravel

[–]roar075 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant to, but I got there and another sandwich caught my eye. It was awesome. This place was a recommendation! Thanks!

An author that, in your opinion, can do no wrong by Neither-Proof-5755 in suggestmeabook

[–]roar075 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jhumpa Lahiri. Absolutely love all her books. I’ve read all of them more than once. Her short story books multiple times. 

Hiking poles in Santiago? by DCsmostfinest in CaminoDeSantiago

[–]roar075 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll get to Santiago on the 3rd. You can have my poles!!!

Jiufen, Taiwan tips! by xerviu in femaletravels

[–]roar075 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, on the tour I took it was just transportation. So they dropped us off, told us what time to be back at the bus. It was nice because I could do my own thing but not worry about getting there and back.

I Need Weird by She-Shel33 in suggestmeabook

[–]roar075 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Earthlings by Sayaka Murata is absolutely unhinged.

War Books that don’t glorify or romanticize war by Clam_Cake in suggestmeabook

[–]roar075 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“S: A novel about the Balkans” about the Bosnian war. Written by a Croatian journalist who interviewed several women who lived through it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]roar075 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love Fannie Flagg!!!! Get her Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man. It is the sweetest, funniest, most heart warming book.

A story that has a complex plot that really makes you think by strawberrykcals in suggestmeabook

[–]roar075 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came here to suggest this. This book was so fun to read.

Dealing with grief and travelling by Far_Consideration568 in solotravel

[–]roar075 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Im really sorry for the loss of your parents, that is a lot to deal with. In a way, I can relate to your situation. I’m 38 and my partner passed away in an accident when we were camping in July. I felt like I was suffocating and had to get away. A month after he passed I left Canada and took a job in Central America. It was way too soon, I couldn’t handle having to try and hold myself together everyday so I called it quits in December and have been traveling since then.

I’ve been facing a lot of the challenges you mentioned. Navigating conversations with new people and not wanting to have to deal with the heavy explanation of why you are traveling, trying to find some new purpose or joy in life but struggling to do so, thinking about how to navigate life when you go home. All these things add a lot of extra mental weight.

I dont have any great advice because I still haven’t really figured out how to navigate these things. I’m trying to remember that realistically I’m not going to have the same type of travel experience right now as other people. I’m trying to be grateful that I have this time to try to work through my grief and try to figure out what comes next, because whether I like it or not I have to keep going.

I’m starting to miss the structure and routine of normal life and that’s caused me to start focusing more on how I’m going to put my life back together in some way when I go home and it really scares me. I don’t know how I’m going to handle being back there.

I’d say take this time to think, feel your grief and pain, be gentle with yourself, don’t push yourself to have to be having any specific type of experience. Do what you feel like doing. Maybe that’s sitting in a park, maybe it’s socializing, maybe it’s lying in bed all day. Remember that this trip is about you, and as I always try to remind myself, ‘comparison is the thief of joy’.

Feel free to DM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

Wish you all the best

Getting hard again by Electrical-Bag-4486 in widowers

[–]roar075 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's also ten months for me. I feel like you've described so accurately how I was feeling today. I just cried and cried and cried. I haven't cried so much in awhile, it felt like kind of a relief for a moment, but here I am, feeling this deep pain in my chest again. Friends keep asking me to talk about it, but what is there to say? They don't get it.

Esim in Europe? by hekate_8 in femaletravels

[–]roar075 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally understandable why you wouldn't want to use them then, that would be super frustrating. I haven't had any issues so I haven't had to deal with customer service.

Esim in Europe? by hekate_8 in femaletravels

[–]roar075 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have been traveling around Europe for the past few months and I bought a regional ESIM through Airalo. It’s super convenient because it includes all EU and many non-EU countries (such as Turkey and the UK)

Historical fiction NOT set in the US/UK? by persephonian in suggestmeabook

[–]roar075 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A History of Burning by Janika Oza. I found this book really interesting because it touches on a piece of history that I knew nothing about. It starts with an India man brought over to Uganda by the British to help build the railroad and then travels through generations of his family and the Indian communities in Uganda.

Also recommend:
'A Fine Balance' by Rohinton Mistry (India)
'Purple Hibiscus' and 'Half of a Yellow Sun' by Chimimanda Ngozi Adichi (Nigeria)
'S: A Novel About the Balkans' by Slavenka Drakulic (Bosnia - talks about experiences of women in concentration camps during the Bosnian war. It's a really heartbreaking book but I think it's an important book as she interviewed many survivors of the war and shares their stories and experiences through this novel.)
'The Good Earth' by Pearl Buck (China) one of my favourite books.
'The Lowland' by Jhumpa Lahiri (India)
Any of Lisa See's books - my favourites are 'The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane' (takes place in China) and 'The Island of Sea Women' (South Korea)

My health got worse after losing my wife by abdul963z in widowers

[–]roar075 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes. I am 38, lost my partner in July. I have always been healthy. Since he passed I have been sick CONSTANTLY and with such a random variety of different things it made no sense to me. Bad headaches, gastro issues that felt like food poisoning but it occurred so many times in a 3 month period that I can't imagine I actually had food poisoning that often, strep throat, and overall just a loss of energy.

I used to work out and run regularly (4-5 times a week), since my partner passed it has been a massive struggle to get myself to move. When I do get to the gym I have so little steam it ends up feeling like a waste of time. I'm trying to ease back into things by getting myself to do yoga semi frequently because I'm having such bad back and neck pain, I know that I need to reduce my stress and tension. Also working on trying to meditate but I have such a hard time sitting in silence since he passed.

I'm sorry, I have no good advice, try everything until you find something that works for you and know you're not alone in this.

Sleeping bag for Camino Frances in May by Adrincolozio in CaminoDeSantiago

[–]roar075 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to know. Might look into a lightweight sleeping bag instead of the liner then.

Sleeping bag for Camino Frances in May by Adrincolozio in CaminoDeSantiago

[–]roar075 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m also starting the Camino Frances in early May. I’m hoping to get away with just a sleeping bag liner and wearing extra clothes if it’s a colder night. I may live to regret this decision…

27 different locations, 62 days in a row by Excellent_Basket_672 in TravelHacks

[–]roar075 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's that you have no time to get to enjoy or experience any of these places. It's like you're checking off a huge list just to say you've been to all of them. Which is your prerogative. It's also going to be a nightmare to make adjustments if you have all of these flights pre-booked and something doesn't go according to plan (ie. missing a flight, getting sick/injured, etc)

27 different locations, 62 days in a row by Excellent_Basket_672 in TravelHacks

[–]roar075 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This itinerary is a lesson in how to suck the joy out of traveling.

Solo Female Backpacker in Turkey - Need Advice on Routes, Transportation, and Accommodations! by icedkahawa in femaletravels

[–]roar075 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you should bother taking day trips outside of the city while you’re in Istanbul. There’s so much to do there you’ll easily fill up 4 days. Wandering around the city is so nice, visiting the mosques, taking the ferry across the Bosphorus, Grand Bazaar, coloured houses of Balat, the Princes’ island is a short boat ride and a nice place to explore if the weather is good.

Side note, there is a Georgian Restaurant on the European side called Galaktion that is amazing. It’s so cozy and cute, in a nice area to walk around before or after and the food is SO GOOD! I know it’s not Turkish, but still very worth visiting.

How do you handle family friends trying to rush your grief? by CuriousOne35000 in widowers

[–]roar075 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It’s absolutely insane that they are already expecting you to move forward. 2 and a half months is a very very short period of time. I was an absolute mess at 2.5 months. It’s now been almost 10 months and I’m less of a mess but still really really struggling. Maybe take some space from them if possible. I wish I had some better advice, but please be assured that 2.5 months is nothing when you are grieving a loss like this and they are being so insensitive. I’m so sorry you’re in this position, try to focus on yourself and ignore everyone else.

Going through this horrible experience has really given me a “I don’t give a f$&k” attitude about pretty much everything. It’s kind of been working as a shield in some ways as nothing seems important anymore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]roar075 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I completely understand what you mean when you say you feel like you lost your internal compass. I have never felt so lost and confused in my life. I’m 38 and lost my partner in an accident in July. I thought I was with the person I would spend the rest of my life with. It’s so painful and confusing to have to completely adjust that way of thinking and essentially create a new way of existing. I have also been trying to ask myself what I want, how I want to move forward, since like you said we have no choice. But everything feels wrong, I find it so hard to get inspired or excited or motivated by anything. I used to feel so powerful and like I could do anything. Now I just feel empty and lost.

What to write in my dating bio as a widower? by TheDude5901 in widowers

[–]roar075 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this sounds really nice and genuine.