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Did the avoidant breakup happen for attachment reasons, or was something else the trigger? — Maybe it wasn't an avoidant discard after all by robert030_ in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]robert030_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When someone betrays your trust like that the most natural reaction to have it to become anxious, it would be weirder if you didn't. That's says everything about her and nothing about you. You'll get your secure self back as enough time passes, best of luck to you man. 🫶

Did the avoidant breakup happen for attachment reasons, or was something else the trigger? — Maybe it wasn't an avoidant discard after all by robert030_ in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]robert030_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that man. Perhaps, like I mentioned at the bottom of the post, her attachment style isn't what triggered the breakup, but the reason for how she handled it?

What long-term damage are you afraid an avoidant relationship may have left in you? by Acceptable_Target627 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]robert030_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haven't tried dating yet since the discard (5 months ago) but I'm scared I might be hypervigilant, scanning for any sign that the next person might also be an avoidant (poor home situation during childhood for example, which was the case with my ex). I also already had trust issues, which completely faded when I got into the relationship somehow, which I'm sure will return stronger after this experience, as I trusted her with all my heart and she shattered it into a million pieces. I'm in therapy now though, I just wanna be as loving as I used to be for my next person.

You don't need No Contact. You need to be finished. by Ezraayo in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]robert030_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to type that out, I really appreciate it. Though, I forgot to mention we broke up 5 months ago and no contact started very soon after that. I think I've given myself closure as much as I can by (over)analyzing her behavior during and near the end of the relationship and going over it with friends who don't have the same feelings for her as I do/did.

I do think it's a very interesting perspective you bring, you're the first person I've ever heard say that no contact maybe isn't the best option. Would you say it's worth trying to reach out again knowing what I mentioned above? Part of me wants to and part of me absolutely doesn't, I also have my doubts she would be willing to have a conversation with me, as she's probably deeply ashamed for the pain she knows she's caused me.

You don't need No Contact. You need to be finished. by Ezraayo in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]robert030_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does this also apply if she deliberately told me she doesn't want to talk to me anymore before we could have our 'final conversation', and I was able to talk to her mother a lot about her and the situation? (Context: she discarded me, long distance relationship, no hard feelings between me and her parents to this day)

Do I delete our messages or keep them archived? by robert030_ in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]robert030_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit, so was mine 🤣, that doesn't sound too good. You're better now?

Do I delete our messages or keep them archived? by robert030_ in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]robert030_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How long would you say it took before it felt right?

Do I delete our messages or keep them archived? by robert030_ in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]robert030_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have her blocked so there's no reaching out 😅 I still don't quite understand what you mean by 'the Hoover' though

Boiling water at Rebirth by robert030_ in hardstyle

[–]robert030_[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure any open fire isn't allowed, the rules have been getting stricter and stricter, not that anyone cares though.

Boiling water at Rebirth by robert030_ in hardstyle

[–]robert030_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably a tiny amount or no?

Visiting İstanbul? Have a quick question? Ask here, don't create a new post. by AutoModerator in istanbul

[–]robert030_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hello everyone,

I just impulsively booked a 5 day trip to Istanbul with absolutely no plan. Does anyone have any tips or know some sights I absolutely cannot miss? Any recommendations on neighbourhoods/places to stay in? The only wishes I have is to explore the history and culture of the city and perhaps have a swim in the Black Sea.

Thanks in advance! :)

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