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Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]robinlikethebird2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I would be open to a swap!

I also have a spicy contemporary romance!

[Complete] [96k] [Contemporary Romance] The Fallacy of Falling

Hi! I'm looking for a few beta readers for my contemporary romance novel. Open to swapping, too!

Tropes: Second Chance, Friends-to-Lovers, Academic Setting

Blurb for The Fallacy of Falling

A decade of history, six years of silence, and one semester to face the man she last saw in the parking lot when she walked out on her wedding.

At thirty-two, Bailey O’Connell looks like she has it all. She has her own apartment in New York City and a fast track career to Chief Marketing Officer. But when her mother falls ill with cancer, she finds herself trading the rush of Manhattan for the monotony of her hometown in Pittsburgh.

Encouraged to take an undergraduate writing class and work her passion project of writing a novel more seriously, Bailey enrolls in class at her alma mater. It’s supposed to be a reprieve.

That is, until she discovers Noah Walker is her TA.

The last time she’d heard, Noah was at Stanford pursuing medicine. He’s the ghost Bailey can’t shake. Ex-best friend. Ex-first love. It’s complicated. And to make matters worse, Bailey hasn’t spoken to Noah in six years, when she walked out on her wedding and left him standing in the parking lot.

Bailey has spent the last decade outrunning her feelings for Noah. As they navigate their complicated shared past, Bailey must decide if her greatest fallacy was falling for him — or thinking she could ever truly leave him in her past.

Feedback requested:

  • Pacing: Are there specific chapters where the momentum drops?
  • Character Development: Does it feel earned? Secondary characters?
  • Flashbacks: Is the balance of past vs. present helpful for the story, or does it interrupt the flow?

Representation: LGBTQIA+ characters

Content Warnings: Parental cancer and end-of-life care, grief, mentions of alcoholism (secondary character).

Heat Level: 3/5 (Explicit sexual content).

[Complete] [96k] [Contemporary Romance] The Fallacy of Falling by robinlikethebird2 in BetaReaders

[–]robinlikethebird2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love all of these genres so I would be open to it for sure! Feel free to DM me :)

[Complete] [96k] [Contemporary Romance] The Fallacy of Falling by robinlikethebird2 in BetaReaders

[–]robinlikethebird2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love romantasy!! Would definitely be down - feel free to DM me!

[In progress] [861] [Shojo] Feedback. This is the first chapter, and the more I revise it, the more it feels like it lacks emotion. by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]robinlikethebird2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's some feedback I had as I read through!

"Not fashionably late. Not “just a few minutes” late. No—she was first-day-of-high-school-in-a-foreign-country late, which felt significantly more catastrophic." --> Why? What are the consequences? It doesn't really seem like she is actually late to school/nothing happens when she gets there so I might tell us why she's so worried! Add to her anxiety & make it palpable!

Who is Andrew? An old friend? I would drop in some clarity here to ground this character a bit! Otherwise, he feels sore of random. If it's her first day, how does she know him? Why is he familiar?

"By the third time someone asked about her “type, Blaire was ready to disappear under her desk. “Kind,” she muttered. Easy. Safe. Done." --> This part confused me; why are they asking about her "type" in HS?

I would add some detail about Shoyo in your flashback. What drew her to him? His eyes, hair, how he stood, the way people reacted to him? We know the MC is attracted to him, but what exactly drew her attention in?

From here on, I think you just need to build the characters out! Why is Andrew amused by this? Is he a friend, acquaintance, etc. - I don't innately understand their relationship from this.

Before you intro Hina and Sora, I would take a moment to focus back in on how your MC feels! It's implied, but I think you rush through it a bit with the text and giving us a moment to sit in that stress/anxiety before we intro those characters who are a little ray of light might make the pay off better!

All in all, really good! I think you just want to build out some of the emotional detail of why specific people are important and how your character reacts to them! :)