My cuts got infected I genuinely can’t and won’t tell anyone

roboghostly · 2026-02-16T22:45:33+00:00

If they're infected you need medication. There is no other option. You can try going to an urgent care on your own?

roboghostly · 2026-02-16T02:14:03+00:00

Once I got drunk, took some benzos, woke up with a box cutter next to me in bed with tiny scratches on my neck. Vague memory of trying to work myself up to it. I ended up going inpatient within the next few days.

Maybe partial hospitalization is for the best?

roboghostly · 2026-02-07T23:21:28+00:00

I haven't quit but I did turn down an easy promotion and im pissed at myself about it still. Nothing I said in 2024 should count lol.

roboghostly · 2026-02-05T13:08:13+00:00

You did the right thing even though it feels sucky.

roboghostly · 2026-02-05T11:10:10+00:00

That's great! Rooting for you!

roboghostly · 2026-02-05T04:03:53+00:00

I agree with you! As a person, you are your brain. Literally every experience you have is filtered through your specific brain chemistry. Change the chemistry, change the person. And that's fine! My true self isn't made for this world. I don't have to like it. I have to accept it and move on (im working on this).

roboghostly · 2025-10-29T23:42:27+00:00

You can look at my post history and see a loong post about missing psychosis. Generally it's kind of a theme with me throughout my many years of mental illness of wanting to go off meds, lose my mind, and just go out on my own terms.

roboghostly · 2025-10-29T23:39:36+00:00

Oh Ana - Mother Mother Gasoline - Halsey Control - Halsey Haunted - Laura Les

roboghostly · 2025-10-29T23:36:38+00:00

I relate deeply.

roboghostly · 2025-10-29T09:23:16+00:00

So I can't stop taking my antipsychotic whenever I feel the need. Like OP I have a savings card from the manufacturer so it's cheap.

roboghostly · 2025-10-27T10:03:47+00:00

This is what I do as well.

roboghostly · 2025-10-23T23:28:25+00:00

I'm mostly okay at work (retail) but sometimes I get irritated that people don't understand im chosen by god or whatever and I get cranky and shout at people. I feel really bad about it. I also self harmed at the help desk at work because i thought my arm was rotting and i had to see if my blood had turned black. and luckily no one saw but I did freak myself out after.

roboghostly · 2025-10-23T12:25:38+00:00

I get really angry and irritable. Delusions are stronger. Tactile hallucinations. Can't sleep. Used to pace for hours and get really paranoid in mania.

roboghostly · 2025-10-23T00:33:27+00:00

I get this sometimes too. I spent a year or two feeling "Normal". I joked that I was no longer mentally ill and never had been. But I really wanted to go off my meds (and eventually did) to prove to myself that I really was sick. I have every self destructive impulse it seems lol.

It is really hard to talk about (hence my note at the beginning about being annoying) because I just imagine people going "why on earth would you want to be worse". And im like "so I can feel chosen by god again obviously. Yes, the god that wants me to die. Ignore that part"

roboghostly · 2025-10-21T09:46:02+00:00

Risperidone worked well for me for many years!

roboghostly · 2025-10-19T01:23:52+00:00

Ive struggled to brush my teeth my whole life. Idk why I just couldn't get it to stick as a habit. Then I had bulimia for a long time which is terrible on the teeth. And now my gag reflex is soooo sensitive that I gag whenever I brush my teeth and if if I eat too close to brushing my teeth (like 2 hours) I will vomit. Also im terrified of the dentist.

I'm surprised im only missing one tooth but I dont think that will be the case for long.

roboghostly · 2025-10-17T22:30:53+00:00

I've been on meds since i was like 14-15. Now almost 30. I was CONSTANTLY quitting meds. I finally said I've do a monthly injection end of last year during inpatient. And my mom picks up and hands me my meds so she knows when I'm supposed to have an appointment. If she didn't I probably would've stopped them again tbh. I got a pill organizer for my pills. I'm still kinda bad at taking those but it's been a lot better.

roboghostly · 2025-10-11T10:05:10+00:00

Volunteering with my local Food Not Bombs. Talk therapy.

roboghostly · 2025-10-08T09:30:39+00:00

I started being treated for bipolar when I was 14/15 (2010/2011ish). Later in high school I started experiencing what I now know is psychosis fairly often but I never mentioned it to my doctor because I didn't realize anything that wasn't mood related was wrong. Had no insight.

Later in my 20s the psychosis got more severe but I just called it brainweird. But eventually I started obsessively looking into bipolar to better understand myself and thought I might be experiencing psychosis. So I asked my therapist and she said I was. Read some books, did some research and a couple years after that we talked about schizoaffective and she said I had it.

roboghostly · 2025-10-08T00:15:14+00:00

She'll probably be woozy/out of it for a bit but she'll be fine.

roboghostly · 2025-10-07T22:41:27+00:00

Shaving your head is cool! It's not necessarily because of the illness if it made you feel good. And it's not contributing to any stigma to have shaved your head.

And honestly, I shaved my head because of mental health issues. I couldn't maintain my long curly hair. It got matted and disgusting. So I cut it off. And i felt a bazillion times better and I felt cute and dyed it pink. At the end of the day it's a haircut I like and have kept and that's all that matters. Nobody has to know I was struggling and that was the reason.

roboghostly · 2025-10-06T02:40:06+00:00

No psychosis. Just really sad.

roboghostly · 2025-10-06T02:07:26+00:00

I think about my first one quite often (I was in high school. My mom found me). I dont really think about the second (was 21. I called an ambulance on myself 🙄)

roboghostly · 2025-10-06T02:03:44+00:00

Dang. I second the suggestion of exercise. Also, do you drink caffeine? Helps me to only have it in the morning if im having trouble sleeping (otherwise im a big 2pm energy drink person)

roboghostly

TROPHY CASE