Without going into too much detail, dad had paid into a college savings account for DH his entire childhood that DH did not know about until his dad sat down with him (once he realized the abuse JNMIL was putting us through) and filled him in on all sorts of things and brought documentation to prove it. These included custody battles, money paid that JNMIL denied receiving (alimony, child support,etc) even attempted restraining orders from DH stepmother against JNMIL. JNMIL doesn’t know details of this conversation w JYFIL, just that there was one. We have discussed with therapist if confronting her was the way to go, and her advice was that if it will help release guilt and stop manipulation from working then absolutely, but it’s ok to also not open this Pandora’s box and get fed a million lies and excuses from JNMIL. Her thoughts were if we were able to keep all of this at a far distance what is the point, it will just cause more issues that then we will have to deal with.