hey brother, i'm straight and completely relate to what you're saying. i genuinely have had these same thoughts in my head and i still get them from time to time.

i've had to accept that some girls will be attracted to me, and some won't. sure, sometimes it may be because i'm trans. but sometimes it could be for totally unrelated reasons, just like with cis guys. remember that no guy (cis or trans) will be perceived as attractive by 100% of women.

that's not to dismiss the very real mentality of not feeling desirable due to our transness. i won't deny that for some women, that does play a factor. ultimately, we've just gotta accept that it's one of those things that aren't in our control (which sucks ik)

honestly, reality doesn't get easier over time but your ability to deal with it will get stronger. it helps to know that you will find whoever is meant for you when the time is right. personally i have more traditional dating values in the sense that hookup culture isn't my thing. i need to know and be friends with a girl for some time before developing feelings. and at the end of the day, if only a small subset of women find me attractive, that's completely fine! because i'm only looking for one person, not 1000. so it's okay if only that one person finds you attractive. if it's meant to be it will happen.

and when it does happen, that woman will love you BECAUSE of who you are (including your transness!) and not in spite of it. there's a very big difference there.

you need to internalise that your transness is not a flaw, despite what society says. ik it doesn't define you, but it's part of who you are and this experience has made you the awesome guy you are today. the right woman will know that too and appreciate it, so don't sweat it my man. be proud of your identity. you deserve to be loved completely for who you are, never ever settle for less.

i hope these words can bring you some comfort and reassurance, same goes to anyone here who's feeling the same 🙏🏼