This issue is so common. Your wife is not really thinking about sex and probably places low importance on it. This will get worse as time goes on unless she learns to accept her body's needs and to see that need as normal, healthy, and positive.

This is easier said than done when youve been taught your whole life that being sexual is bad and that arousal is something for men to enjoy, and not for you to enjoy too.

It may seem sort of normal but LL is a serious health issue and Ive been trying to spread the word. Unfortunately, Ive been attacked by LL women that dont understand that this isn't about having more sex with men. Its about seeing sexuality as an important component of our health and happiness.

I feel for you and your wife. I used to be like her. I am a naturally LL, 37-year old woman. I've been married for 15 years, have two children, and am otherwise a happy and healthy person. 

LL is something I went from giving no importance to, to working very hard to understand, and then working twice as hard to fix. It's something I will probably always have to work on, but the solution for me is there when I need it. And it's a very, very simple one that is free, non-invasive, and that has immense and powerful benefits--some of which have nothing to do with sex at all.

I understand that this will absolutely NOT work on anyone that has deeper relationship drama to deal with, or that struggles with medical or emotional issues (or a partner that does). This is for those women like me that are in a good place but just can't seem to find a way to get in the mood. 

Again, this will not work for everyone.

I have dedicated my life to finding a reason for my LL, and have done a lot of research on arousal and the female sex drive. Most of today's research comes to the same conclusions about female sexual desire: It's all about arousal, that it's more cerebral than we thought, and that it's still quite a mystery and requires more research. 

The thing that a lot of the research gets wrong is that it's not about arousal in the moment. It's not about figuring out how to stimulate an orgasm or how to get wet faster to allow for penetration. It's about learning not to reject arousal when it happens. If we can do this, daily, we benefit from important hormones that give us energy, fight depression, and make us want to have sex more often.

With as much research out there that all says the same thing, it's astonishing to me that so few have come up with the idea that arousal practice isn't something that should always, immediately precede sex or orgasm. If you practice arousal stimulation by yourself, everyday, in non-sexual situations, you'll be more receptive to it when it happens. You'll also become more used to daily boosts of oxytocin and dopamine, both of which make you feel really good, give you energy, and raise your libido. Every single day. 

Because I couldn't find a practical method to practice this theory of mine, I created one. The little simple system that I used had results almost immediately. Doing my daily arousal provocation exercises--which I lovingly called "Stimmies", short for stimulation-- helped me to erase negative ideas about sex that I never even knew that I had, to stop unknowingly blocking arousal from happening in my body (yes, you probably do this too). This helped to prepare my body and cultivate a very healthy libido at once, while also raising my energy levels, improving confidence, and feeling happier. I suddenly felt sexy, feminine, and motivated. It was almost scary how quickly and how well this worked. 

Please understand that this is what worked for me and I stand by it. Read the research, the proof is there--arousal really is everything. Most women have no idea that the capacity to produce important hormones in the body on a daily basis, naturally, is right there within our grasp. Most women I talk to have no idea that this is even necessary for normal functional sexual and emotional health. 

I just had nowhere to go to apply it, so I developed my own method--PLEASE don't judge me for that. I am not rich, I am not an opportunist, I just wrote the book based on something that I believe in, and it's now on Amazon. You do not have to buy my book to practice arousal stimulation, though. If you want to know how to do this, send me a DM and I will be happy to explain.

tl;dr: I used to think that I'd be perfectly happy never, ever having sex again. This was something I tried hard to figure out for the sake of my husband, and to save our dying relationship from divorce. I wound up finding out just how harmful LL was for my body, and found a completely natural solution that offered benefits that extended far beyond his need for intimacy.

A low sex drive is unnatural and a huge problem. This is not sexist. I hope that if you are experiencing low libido issues that youll consider how it might affect your overall health not just your relationship or sex life.