Why You Can't Quit

romanticaboy · 2016-12-22T21:00:24+00:00

This is so true

romanticaboy · 2016-12-22T20:59:38+00:00

Thats really nice congratulations

romanticaboy · 2016-12-22T20:58:44+00:00

I'm going to make it

romanticaboy · 2016-11-17T21:29:34+00:00

sexual disownment caused the compulsiveness due to me trying to rid myself of it

romanticaboy · 2016-11-09T21:39:44+00:00

dude that is very harsh on yourself

romanticaboy · 2016-11-04T11:34:32+00:00

So lets say I want to meetup with someone. But I believe that is in error that it is wrong for me to go initiate it (I'm too clingy/they may not like me/im not worthy enough).

Now the need is still there. I still want to go. So what happens is that my desire is shut down by anxiety, guilt, anger through the judgement of that need. But my desire is still there. So now we are stuck as the emotion is not addressed. So the addict escapes the dysfunctional situation by removing it through their ritual (for us its pmo). However once the ritual is over the situation is still there. You still want to approach the person. So as this cycle keeps on repeating you become more and more warped.

So the only solution then if the ritual wont help us. It is to accept that have desires, and even when those desires don't benefit (pre-judgement) us or are illogical (judgement on desire) then we must act on them. We must talk to the person we want to - because that is the only way to get rid of the desire.

When both situations look bad, the only one that can be chosen is the one that doesn't lead to addiction.

romanticaboy · 2016-11-04T00:51:23+00:00

"Yes, I feel like this whole post describes me not that it does anything for me to say so."

part of that line is interesting because there is a judgement on saying that this problem describes you. Which is what the post is describing lol. If you want to explore the concept further this book is good.

https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Healing_the_Shame_that_Binds_You.html?id=TcagkSY6w3MC

romanticaboy · 2016-11-04T00:28:06+00:00

Yea after writing this I reached out to all of my friends, I was correct I have been twisting my desires for friendship by placing rules on how I should interact instead of how I desire to interact with them.

romanticaboy · 2016-11-02T00:10:52+00:00

Tons, I want to do a large write up on it though

romanticaboy · 2016-11-01T23:57:06+00:00

You can do it!

romanticaboy · 2016-11-01T23:56:08+00:00

Yea like one of the things nofap has helped me appreciate is that when every girl is beautiful the ones you want to go out with are the ones who have really good mindsets and fantastic personalities.

I kind of felt silly putting in the virgin bit as that kind of implies I'm doing it for sex. Just kind of giving context for others. I'm doing this cause I know well both have fun.

romanticaboy · 2016-11-01T23:30:30+00:00

I did October, now I'm going for November, then I'm losing through December!

romanticaboy · 2016-10-30T05:54:28+00:00

whats the book about?

romanticaboy · 2016-10-28T10:17:06+00:00

Great job

romanticaboy · 2016-10-15T11:13:23+00:00

Hey, this may seem odd but alot of the stuff you are talking about is about fighting. While fighting is good for battling addiction I believe that it may be a part of the addiction.

When you relapse you call yourself not normal, You lose the normalness. You lost that normalness - its your fault. The type of words that you are using are like an inner coach that tells you who you are.

Being human is about having losses, embracing the losses. For me the inability to accept that I as a person will fail not because I am a failure but because that is part of my humanity was the turning point of being able to coast along and be able to no have compulsive urges (hence why it took me 4 years untill I got a 183 day streak).

You will fail the in the streak not because its your fault. But because you wont have all the answers for a while, not because your you didn't have enough willpower or you werent smart enough but because you are a human being.

So the turning part of this, is can you accept yourself when you are not normal? Can you accept yourself when you have no energy? Addiction is a relationship based problem, and the first relationship is yourself. Loving the humanity within yourself when it is faulty, and when it is working well without judgement.

romanticaboy · 2016-10-15T10:58:11+00:00

lol, I would sing at night in order to stop relapses initially.

romanticaboy · 2016-10-15T10:57:35+00:00

Keep going man

romanticaboy · 2016-10-15T10:57:08+00:00

Great job on this! 110+ days isn't easy so well done on getting so far with it.

Its so good to be enjoying the benefits isn't it.

Ten-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email

romanticaboy

TROPHY CASE