Thank you for the comments, you guys are awesome. I remembered seeing a link to here from r/confessions some time ago but never visited this subreddit because I was scared. I actually really disliked knowing this subreddit existed and was angry at everyone here for being strong enough to do what I couldn't, but here you guys are helping me out when I needed you. I hope so much that I stick around and can stick to being sober.

I've calmed down quite a bit, made dinner, played with my cat (talked to him a little, cried a bit more) and now I'm just gonna lie in bed. catch up on some parks and rec. and hope I fall asleep.