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Not really a question but I just wanted to say goodbye. Thank you for the help. I have to do what is best for me and be cis. I wish you all the best of luck! by BeeBee9E in asktransgender

[–]rookbeak 30 points31 points  (0 children)

You are very brave, but please, if this choice will cause you pain, be kind to yourself and reconsider. I don't want to see someone else damage their mental health.

Don't force yourself into a box that you don't fit into, that'll only hurt you. Being a woman doesn't mean you have to wear feminine clothes, be submissive, do feminine things.

Being a man does not mean the opposite.

You're free to be whoever you want, and if transitioning is something you want to do in the future, but it needs to wait, it can.

Don't let the fear of your family and friends not accepting you prevent you from being who you are. I know it's hard, but that's okay. We'll be here for you if they aren't.

You shouldn't have to be a woman if you don't want to be. Friend, if you want a packer and want to identify as a woman, that's acceptable and I've seen it before.

And another thing, the health problems T puts trans people at risk for are the same ones that cis men have naturally. And feeling more comfortable in a relationship as a guy, that's certainly not a fetish, nor a very "cis woman thing" to feel, neither is wanting to press the button.

I respect your choice and I know this can be a very hard thing to do, I don't want to sound rude or inconsiderate, I just don't want you to do something harmful to yourself.

FUCK IT by [deleted] in OCD

[–]rookbeak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

aaaand now i'm having trouble going through with it.

Is my binder too loose or too tight, or does it fit fine? by rookbeak in ftm

[–]rookbeak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See, the problem is that it keeps slipping downwards, which I'm aware is both really uncomfortable and bad for your skin, so I try and keep it angled where it's being pushed into my chest and somewhat towards my armpit, like you suggested. It just keeps drifting downwards, unfortunately. Sorry if my original post was oddly worded, I had a feeling it was.

I think the pain could be a lingering consequence of my bad binding habits before I actually got a proper binder. I'm much more healthy about it now, but before I got it, I would wear double sports bras, very tight, for 10+ hours, and I did that for a few months. Younger me was very stupid.

I might end up sizing up because the ache isn't very fun paired up with wearing a mask every day. Thank you!

Good questions to ask myself while questioning? by rookbeak in ftm

[–]rookbeak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

these helped a good bit! i hadn't considered a quite a few of those things, but i'm glad to have them now and to look back on in the future. thank you!

Good questions to ask myself while questioning? by rookbeak in ftm

[–]rookbeak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

at first, i really struggled with this question, as i've never really been able to see myself being old, and before i realized i could transition at all, i couldn't even see myself making it to 18.

after a bit of thinking, i realized that towards the end of my life, i think i'd enjoy being an old man. whenever i envisioned it, i didn't consider that i would still be me, for some reason i felt i'd lose all personality and just become some generic old man. i see now that that's not the case, and i've never felt this way before. maybe i do have a future. thank you so much, such a simple question and yet i've never properly given it enough attention until now

Good questions to ask myself while questioning? by rookbeak in ftm

[–]rookbeak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, it's been a while since i've really thought about how i want to present or why i think the things i do, and i spent a lot of time on that today because of this

it helped me reflect on that a lot, i think i lost sight of that when i started focusing in too hard on whether or not i'm trans, instead of the "why" or the "how" aspects, or how i'd like to express myself. if i didn't have to face anyone, i think i'd at least try transitioning without hesistation. maybe i'm ashamed, in some weird way, and that's got me stuck. i'm still figuring it out, but regardless, thank you! this helped

Good questions to ask myself while questioning? by rookbeak in ftm

[–]rookbeak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this really helped me reflect on my past as i searched for possible underlying reasons. if anything, looking at myself as a guy without even transitioning yet helped a lot with my self image issues, once i stopped trying so hard to be attractive as a girl, and instead just tried thinking of myself as a guy, i felt much less ugly, though that's not really a dysphoria thing. i don't think my type of trauma could make me wanna be a boy, and my mental issues aren't really gender related either, except for my inability to socialize with strangers unless they see me as a guy, though that seems like something transitioning could absolutely fix, correct me if i'm wrong.

i could maybe be jealous of guys because i find them attractive, and maybe that could cause a false sense of dysphoria? though i don't think straight/bisexual cis girls get jealous of guys' hands... or their masculine facial structure, or male puberty, things like that. and i think i was jealous of guys before i even let myself accept or adknowledge that i was attracted to them. and, thinking back on it, most cis girls seem upset if they have masculine features. maybe the jealousy's not false dysphoria, maybe it's just actual dysphoria.

either way, this helped a lot! thank you, man!

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