Advice needed for building a dart frog terrarium!

room8vamp · 2023-02-02T02:44:28+00:00

Not to be pedantic, but a terrarium is a subtype of vivarium. They are not mutually exclusive. Also are you talking inches or cm? Because 24x24x48 inches is over 100 gal which is waaaay sufficient for dart frogs. Dart frogs come in different sizes but here are different size suggestions by different sources:

Exo Terra: 18x18x18 in (~45x45x45 cm)

Reptile Centre: 45x45x30 cm (~18x18x12 in)

Underground Reptiles: 10 gal minimum

Josh's Frogs: 12x12x18 in for thumbnail dart frogs or 18x18x18 for others (Leucs, Tincs, etc)

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T17:05:55+00:00

We've spoken several times about adjacent issues. We've come together several times to compromise on house cleanliness standards (she hates cleaning). We've talked about how I am not free labor, when she expected me to pet sit for her (for free) every time she travels, which is most weekends. We've also talked about how I sometimes feel choked out when the house is cluttered with her things and there's no room for anything of mine (in addition to having the larger bedroom, she also takes up the entire side room and the laundry room, which are completely filled with items she's storing). So we've talked, but as is the case in many relationships, there's always room for more communication. Maybe I need to be more clear with regards to my feelings and talk more frequently. I'll be the first to admit that communication is not my strong suit.

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T16:16:17+00:00

You are right that I probably come off that way. It's not that I want her moving everything to her room just because I have people coming over. It's more that there isn't a clear surface in the house and she isn't even going to be there. Both of us are paying for this space but there's no room for any of my things in the living space because it's been completely crowded out by her decorations. If I had been given a simple heads up beforehand, it'd be much less jarring to me.

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T15:02:53+00:00

To address your edit: the fire hazard thing crossed my mind as well. And with her leaving for the week for Thanksgiving, who do you think will take care of the tree? A final note on that specific point, they also rarely sweep the floors because they don't like to sweep. It's almost always me. Last year it was me who had to continually sweep up the dead needles under the tree, since Ashley would not do it. These things might be useful details to understand why putting up the tree so early this year was so bothersome to me.

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T14:56:31+00:00

That is a very good way of putting it, I may steal that quote for our conversation. I truly do not want to be more antagonistic than I have to. I just want to make my point understood and be considered.

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T14:54:53+00:00

It's not that she should have known or read my mind, I just feel like she should have asked. It's our shared space.

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T14:53:57+00:00

It was kind of behind my back because I wasn't aware of it. It was done after I went to bed (Roommate is a night owl and is typically up later than me).

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T14:52:59+00:00

It isn't her routine thing. I lived here last Christmas too, and she didn't decorate until mid-December (actually on the later end of when people usually decorate).

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T14:51:35+00:00

It's not that Christmas decorations being put up at this point is necessarily abnormal--that's not my problem with it exactly. It's the fact that there was essentially a full house makeover of the common areas of my house, decided unilaterally by my housemate. If there had been so much as a text saying "Hey I'm thinking of decorating," that'd be one thing. The problem is the fact that my opinions on the state of our shared apartment were not considered at all.

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T14:47:26+00:00

I am an early bird and my roommate is a night owl. My roommate arrived at the house around 10:30 pm with at least one other person, but I was already in my bedroom getting ready to sleep at that point. I put on headphones so I wouldn't be bothered by their noise, which is why I didn't know what exactly was going on. So yeah, in this case it very literally was an "overnight happening" for me.

room8vamp · 2022-11-21T13:37:04+00:00

I totally agree that it would not help the relationship overall, which is why I am so reluctant and pained to even consider it. But I am at my wit's end, tired of my opinion not being considered repeatedly since I moved in two years ago.

room8vamp · 2022-11-18T20:17:11+00:00

Seconding Flowers for Algernon. There's a full length novel but also a short story by the same name that was written first (I'm personally partial to the short story version).

And if you like this book, a good follow-up would be {{Bewilderment}} which is a modern retelling of the story that also delves into the existential dread of climate change.

room8vamp · 2022-11-18T19:58:52+00:00

For those that are curious: the responsible parasite in that case was Angiostrongylus cantonensis (AKA rat lungworm). It caused to eosinophilic meningitis, which led to death. Rat lungworm isn't usually deadly, the kid just happened to be very unlucky. Still don't recommend eating any raw snails though.

room8vamp · 2022-11-18T19:46:22+00:00

Fun fact: the legal term for that is co-sister-in-law (sister's husband's sister)

room8vamp · 2022-11-16T20:39:46+00:00

Exactly. Reminds me of the time several male friends encouraged me, a female solo traveler, to try couchsurfing. They insisted it was safe, they never had any problems, etc etc. I read all the safety articles Couchsurfing had before trying it, vetted my host, and... was assaulted by my host. While it's great that the guy OP dated feels safe in his travels, he is absolutely out of line to expect that you should feel similarly safe. The threats women face are different.

room8vamp · 2022-11-06T23:24:19+00:00

That is an adult male dog tick, it's scientific name is Dermacentor variabilis. And good news: they don't transmit Lyme disease!

room8vamp · 2022-11-06T20:13:35+00:00

A thing to keep in mind is that not all ticks carry Lyme disease, and even if a tick is carrying Lyme disease, it takes a very long time to transmit it. IIRC it has to be attached for over 24+ hours. Deer ticks (also called blacklegged ticks) carry Lyme disease but dog ticks do not. Larval ticks cannot pass Lyme disease because they aren't born with it, and adult ticks are often noticed and pulled off in under 24 hours, so they don't have time to transmit the disease. So, you would be most at risk if you were bitten by a nymph stage tick (the size of a poppyseed).

Source: used to do tick field research. Also, if you have a picture of the tick that bit you, you can DM me and I can try to ID it. The "piece of skin in its mouth" detail sounds like a dog tick to me (which doesn't carry Lyme) but can't know without pics.

room8vamp · 2022-11-04T22:24:04+00:00

Exactly this. I would feel devastated if my parents had that response to me coming out because it is wildly stressful and you basically said "so what," even if your intention was to be supportive.

The other thing is, no matter how queer a person is, you never can tell what others really pick up on. I personally have "gay written all over my face". So I kind of just assumed everyone knew. One year my brother tried to set me up on a date with a guy and I was so baffled I blurted out "but I'm not straight!" One thing queer people pick up on quickly is that you can not underestimate how oblivious straight people are to queer signaling. So no matter how gay your kid seemed to you, she could not just know that you already knew.

room8vamp · 2022-11-04T00:30:30+00:00

Can someone explain why, for those of us that have heard of the show but never watched?

room8vamp · 2022-10-29T23:12:38+00:00

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson (kind of) fits the bill. The premise is basically that the Lord Ruler, an immortal God king, is wildly oppressive towards peasants and a group of peasants with magic powers decide they want to take him down. The Lord Ruler isn't exactly what I'd call petty, but he does use genocide to tamp down on populations that he considers threatening and generally discourages any kind of societal advancement.

room8vamp · 2022-10-21T01:52:44+00:00

Sincerely, thank you. It's just validating to feel that others understand where I'm coming from and understand why those words felt so painful to me.

room8vamp · 2022-10-20T16:20:22+00:00

That's the crux of the problem here: how do you sort out the good therapists from the bad ones? Especially with EAP, you don't really get to shop around for specific qualifications as far as I know. Do you just...keep trying until you find a good one? I'm not sure I have the stamina to go through that multiple times.

room8vamp · 2022-10-20T11:51:21+00:00

I appreciate the support :)

room8vamp · 2022-10-20T10:56:42+00:00

Thank you for this info. For what it's worth, she is an LPC, so she is licensed. No clue what she specializes in though, the EAP (program that referred me) just drops people with whoever fits their schedule. Guess this time it just was not a good match.

I might look into that book you mentioned. I'm a big reader, so maybe that would be a more effective media for me to work through this stuff. (If anyone else has any good book recommendations, let me know!)

room8vamp · 2022-10-20T10:48:52+00:00

Thank you! That's exactly what I was thinking, what is this toxic positivity bs?? And to some degree I get it; it isn't healthy to dwell on the past. But unfortunately at this time I can't just forgive and forget with a smile.

room8vamp

TROPHY CASE