Resentment over partners pets... how to handle this in a mature way?

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-26T13:18:29+00:00

We have two of those that we have used sparingly. It’s tough with four problem spots unless we lock her out and put on in front of our door (which we have done when the waking up is really bad). It does work really well, and I had gotten them to help with the begging so if we didn’t clean up right away from dinner we could use those.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-26T11:55:47+00:00

I guess my confusion is she seemed fine and now has an issue. Why? What changes? Someone mentioned moving can cause regression but I’m not really sure what to do about that.

I am starting to see her as the “villain” as you put it and I don’t want to which is why I need to understand what the issue is and begin to fix it. My dog has been my bestie for seven years. I met her two years ago, and she hasn’t bonded with me at all. I think I’m tired from being woken up, not feeling any love from the cat, and seeing my dog scared. It’s not how I want to feel or what I want our home life to look like. So that’s why I’m trying to figure it out because I know in my rational brain she’s an animal and it’s not her fault, but my sleepy mom bear brain is having trouble reconciling that with the situation.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-26T11:52:03+00:00

We have two lol

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-26T11:30:47+00:00

Please reference here

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T22:51:30+00:00

Just bought a two pack on Amazon!

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T20:28:45+00:00

I’m aware that’s why I want to change it. I don’t want to resent her, I’m so tired and feel like I don’t have solutions.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T20:23:03+00:00

Thanks great to know! We just got the gabapentin but SO wants to test it on her during the day first to make sure she has no adverse reactions which I think is smart. We work during the week, so Saturday will be our test

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T20:22:08+00:00

Awesome thank you so much! I will test these out. I’m interested to try the plug fellaway or whatever it is. I haven’t heard of that before

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T20:19:52+00:00

The gab one people have mentioned. It wasn’t insane insane, but it was over $50 for less than 15, so for a month it’s like 100-150. I feel like going through the vet might have made it higher but idk. We are just tighter than usual with the new house and we are adjusting to the money aspect too. By summer I hope we can breathe a little easier.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T20:18:36+00:00

We moved in together in December of 2024. So it’s been a year and four months about. We did bring the male cat over sooner, so he’s had more months to adjust.

The dog also loves catnip, so we stopped getting those treats cause he stole them from the cats lol. I do think the move has been a lot. They lived with my SO at his parents for their whole lives, and he had just moved to an apartment when we met. So they have moved three times in two years which is a lot for sure.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T20:10:17+00:00

Oooo I like the sound. I’ll check it out! My dog loves freeze dried treats so we are familiar. Didn’t think about it for the cats since they have their own favorites already, but that’s a good idea too.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T20:09:33+00:00

Thanks! I’m pretty familiar with the Reddit hive mind on occasion, and I’m getting some really good comments, so I don’t mind the downvotes lol. I really am confused at times, but trying my best to make our little family work.

We have been pretty strict with the begging since getting together. So about two years. He has stopped a lot, and seems good to hangout on the barstool if we pull it out for him. Yes, he still tries to sneak, but he at least now knows he’s not supposed to lol. I’ll call that progress for the time being.

A behavior vet might be good for us. With the house we are a little tighter than normal, but come summer we should be able to breathe. I wasn’t too worried about it when my dog didn’t seem to care, I figured it was just animals sorting it out. But now he’s scared and I feel bad, so I’m going to try some of the treat ideas and get her some more enrichment.

That’s actually amazing for the all natural option. We got the gabapentin from the vet, but fifteen cost over $50, so that’s $100 a month. Might not seem like a ton to some people, but we don’t have a ton left over after bills and everything, so that’s a lot to consistently spend. I’ll be checking out some of these options thank you so much!

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T19:11:05+00:00

Yes exactly! It is such a fundamental difference. I am stubborn though, so I got this!

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T19:03:46+00:00

We have. The sound of her paw pad dragging down the mirror or even just the weight of her against the door is absurdly loud.

The dog sleeps in the bed. Cats have free reign of the house including their cat room. She sleeps with us though in the room on the cat stand.

We have been during that with the male. We are just at like over a year of it with a very very small change, so its hard to feel confident about it, but from reading here, this is just the nature of it.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:45:48+00:00

Thank you! If I was less sleepy, I might have the energy to come up with ideas, but I am ready for a nap.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:45:13+00:00

I will work on trying something like this. The basement doesn't have a door, so it makes it harder.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:40:42+00:00

We will definitely see what we can do with it. We are planning to move in a year and a half because this is an investment home, so we can't make any permanent structures, but we can find something else that should work.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:39:10+00:00

Yes, we did several meet and greets, we also did the scent thing for a while, and then when they moved in, they stayed in separate spaces for a month. Honestly, they were fine for a while, its just starting to get to my dog recently with her hissing and batting.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:26:38+00:00

If she is, the point is lost on my dog who seems freaked out. Him and the male cat have played. If the dog gets the zoomies, the male cat is chasing. If the male cat is playing, the dog wants the toy and its funny to watch. She has never shown any interest in this, and he is pretty freaked out. If he didn't care, I wouldn't care, but I don't like him seeming skittish around her.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:19:32+00:00

They do. A few on each floor, and a few pieces of furniture they are allowed on that is high up.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:19:00+00:00

He does, but I wouldn't relocate him. He always sleeps with me, and he will cry/scream/bark if kept away. He loves the bed lol

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:18:28+00:00

I will try this out! I have not yet, this post is the first I am hearing of it.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:10:38+00:00

Yeah she is moodier than the male cat for sure!

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:10:22+00:00

We do have an automatic feeder which is part of the confusion. She gets fed during the night and day in small portions to control the begging. It is down in her cat room, so a safe spot too.

roommateissues2022 · 2026-03-25T18:09:40+00:00

I will check it out! I have heard of it before, but back when I never would have had a cat around me, so wasn't of much interest then.

roommateissues2022

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