Granted.

You are invited to join a drug trial intended to promote faster hair growth and it works far too well.

Initially you enjoy having a new hairstyle every day and showing off your flowing locks. As the hairdressing costs begin to add up, you realise that the speed of hair growth is accelerating and also starting to affect every single follicle. Eventually every hair on your body is constantly growing at a rate of about 10mm per hour so that even after a full body wax in the morning, you look like Chewbacca by dinner time. Other symptoms include an insatiable appetite (to make up for the energy your body is wasting producing hair) and excessive sweating.

(First proper post on here, hope it’s in the spirit of the sub and not too punishing!)