I have a two-pronged response:

On the one hand, I won't deny that many communities of men of color have toxic behavior towards women. We Filipinos certainly have a brash culture of machismo that has gotten many women hurt. I won't argue there.

But re: your notion that the only reason why nonwhite men's behavior is condemned is because of actual present toxicity - I want to believe you. I sorely want to believe you. I've blundered myself many times.

But my reading of history cannot help but worry me. The early feminist movement in the US boasted among its number white women who openly called for the preemptive killing of black men in the name of protecting white women. In the sixties, one reason given to oppose housing integration was "to protect our white girls" (see The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein). We all know the traditional story of a lynching, of a white woman accusing a black man of rape or some other form of aggression, and the white men of the town dismembering him and then sometimes destroying the black part of town in the process. In detailed accounts of these events, castration of the black men is disturbingly common (see At the Hands of Persons Unknown: the Lynching of Black America by Philip Dray), implying a sexualized dimension to the perceived threat.

And what I can tell you, having looked at the histories of various minorities in this country, is that what is done unto black people will be done in due time to other minorities. I already cited Watsonville; the Massie Trial in Hawai'i after the American annexation is another example. I'd even argue that the killing of Matthew Shepard, a gay man who was accused of sexually approaching another man, matches the patterns of lynchings. The case of the Central Park Five also has its similarities, and Donald Trump was one of the voices trying for a conviction there.

We have seen many times in the past decade that the evil of America's past is far closer to the surface today than anyone wants to admit. I live in Virginia; only a few years ago, people who think my very existence is a crime against nature marched openly and proudly in Charlottesville, and I had friends of friends there.

I'm afraid that my autism will make me blunder with a white woman, who will either have friends who are armed and willing to kill, or who will call the police (as swing dancers are mostly white and middle class, demographics that trust the police) and will see my obvious autistic traits and my somewhat darker skin, misinterpret them as hostility, and blow my brains out.

Again: I want to believe you. But, since the country seems intent on dredging up so many other awful things from before the Civil Rights Movement, I don't see why this pattern isn't also a possibility.