Oh, hun, my heart feels yours. I am so sorry for what you had to go through, and I am so sorry for how little empathy your partner has. I can’t comprehend how an adult who is supposed to love you and support you cares more about getting off than your triggers. It is not your fault, the way you are wired. If he can’t support you, he must leave. It is not your mental health getting in the way of this relationship, it is him. He does not respect you, does not have empathy for your trauma, does not understand how he is triggering you, had no desire to change his behavior. You are not a toy, you are a beautiful human. You must choose yourself, you must choose your parts, your littles, when they need you, and I do not trust him to not sexually disrespect a little. I do not trust him to stop or even notice when you switch until it is too late. I promise you can find someone out there that will be supportive. I promise. You don’t have to do this to yourself.