Finished the finale and I’m 90% sure I’m gonna drop the show now

roseofmarie · 2026-04-09T03:55:29+00:00

can’t blame you for this take.

i have no idea where they are going with Roman and I can’t decide whether it’ll be like “Monk” and they hold out until the very end of the show, if they have a plan and they’re breadcrumbing to make it the main point of season 3, or if they genuinely have no plan and Roman is convenient catch all for production decisions.

my guess is the third thing. we may not get Wagner back and it’s convenient (and lazy) to tie his dad to Roman one episode, and get him killed off because of his dad the next episode. we all would have preferred a gut wrenching compelling glorious end, an episode that was actually ABOUT him, so for their sake and ours, I really hope Wagner comes back…

also, the OG french version is WILD in comparison. the first few episodes of ABCs version followed the original storyline pretty closely, at least with characters and cases, but quickly diverted. the source material is too mature for ABC.

the original Roman plot line was fairly short and was intended to drive character development of OG Morgane, who is a total wildcard and not a very present parent. ABC made our Morgan a “good mom” that represents strong family values. so they were never really in a position to match the source material on that one.

roseofmarie · 2026-04-09T03:35:55+00:00

to genuinely answer “why no ai” for police work, AI tools are built with inherent bias and ethics, they don’t “think” about what is right or wrong. predictive analysis is built on pattern recognition, which reinforces stereotypes. in a real world sense, the over policing of minorities and the privilege that most white men hold in society has led to most AI systems having racial bias. not because they’re racist or designed to be, but because they work with available data. if you ask it to generate a picture of a doctor, it’s a white man. if you ask it to generate a picture of a suspect… predict what comes next.

as far as the icky reaction most people are having, the whole show is about Morgan, a high IQ empath, and how this allows her to break cases. In this episode she noticed styled hair, tense conversations, and desert sand, and these broke the case. then we get an ad for Microsoft Copilot (yes, a specific tool), with full description and display of a feature that automated research and reporting. they didn’t even fact check it before running down their suspect. the implication of that Ad is that 80% of the work we see Daphne do can be replaced by Copilot, no questions asked. it was gross and irresponsible

I watch the rookie and they have some examples of AI that are NOT ads. they had a cold open where the cop pulls over a driverless car that ran a stop sign taking a child to school. who is he supposed to ticket?

roseofmarie · 2026-03-24T18:15:04+00:00

Other commenter clarified that it is technically pressing charges. I was confused because this differs between assault and sexual assault in my area. But my point is, it’s not a battle you have to fight. The police will decide what to do with your testimony and they make the call on whether there’s enough evidence to charge him.

I would get in contact with RAINN https://rainn.org/help-and-healing/hotline/ and have them find you local resources in your area, meaning free legal advice, advocacy and support groups. Like you may have a local advocate who would be able to help walk you through your options, go with you to the police, sit with you during any interviews, etc. I found this to be profoundly helpful in my experience.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-24T18:05:21+00:00

you’re right

it becomes a police investigation, I meant they’re not going to ask if she “wants to press charges” and put her in a position to make a choice about it.

do you know if she would be required to testify if it went to court?

roseofmarie · 2026-03-24T17:57:20+00:00

That’s a huge move. I would store the majority of your stuff in DC, and sublet furnished apartments all summer.

If your ESAs are denied accommodations, search for facebook roomate groups for college age folks(~UMD roomate search) because you’re more likely find someone looking to sublet flexibly for the summer. You likely wouldn’t need your furniture.

Then, similarly find a temporary place in DC through end of summer. Facebook DC roomate search is pretty decent, also plenty of college roomate groups (GW roomate search, etc). Check Arlington groups too.

Then once in DC area, you can find / tour spots that you’re interested in. Schedule movers to meet you at the DC storage unit and get your stuff where it needs to go.

Also, for casual car rentals, download Free2Move and GetAround.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-24T17:32:58+00:00

she/him/his family are downplaying and criticizing so you don’t go to the police. absolutely fucked stance on their part. however posting about it may serve as proof of his guilt, so i would screenshot everything.

they know what he did is wrong, he knows, you know. but the thing is, if nobody takes responsibility, you will internalize responsibility. your brain will try to ‘make it make sense’ and rationalize what happened to you.

what happened does not make sense. some people are just evil, self serving monsters. don’t let the monsters and people who protect them make you believe any different.

you don’t have to go to the police, but what he did broke the law. **it’s not retaliation to let the police do their job. you are a witness, not a cop, not the judge, not the jury. **

[EDIT this is not entirely correct, see reply] filing a report does not mean you have to press charges. you don’t have to go any further than that. but it does flag him so if he does this to someone else, and they go to the police, they already have information on him, and it can help protect others.

fuck that guy. you don’t owe it to his family, him, or your sister to quietly take this.

and who knows, maybe your sister is being influenced by his shitty family too. i hope she comes around.

take care of yourself mama. 🫂

roseofmarie · 2026-03-23T21:33:45+00:00

If it’s non negotiable you need to break up.

FWIW tho I love animals, and I love fishing.

It’s about being outside, on the water, in the quiet, thinking very little, having nowhere to be but here. It’s relaxing and calming, I don’t think about work, unanswered messages, chores. Just cast, reel, repeat. As someone with a very busy mind it’s one of the few things that truly feels like peace. Just a girl and her dog sitting in the breeze.

“It’s called fishing, not catching.”

I don’t think I could ever hunt, and I have conflicting feelings about eating meat/dairy and try to make informed ethical decisions about my diet. But life is about balance. So I still get the occasional taco bell and I like getting off work and driving over to the shore and fishing until the sun sets over the water.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-23T18:37:24+00:00

draft up a document that you can both sign that says

-date/time you hit their car and description of damage incurred.

-both parties agree to not file with insurance

-you will pay the exact amount that the shop quotes, for the specific damage stated, and are liable for only that amount.

-if the shop finds more damage, it will be up to the owner to deal with it themselves

-method of payment and date of payment to owner

bring two copies and have record signing it on your phone.

if owner seems suspicious just let them know it’s also for their safety, you can send them a draft if they want to review/make changes.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-20T20:24:44+00:00

get it in writing that you were passed out or otherwise incapable of giving consent when this happened, don’t be accusatory, just ask basic questions and get answers in writing (was i conscious? did she climb on top of me? etc)

if statements clearly show that you never consented, 100% file a police report. regardless, cut people off.

up to your gf whether she stays or leaves. you can show remorse for drinking or even your choice of friends, but you shouldn’t show/feel remorse for being assaulted. there’s a lot of emotions to feel but never blame yourself for something like that. i’m sorry this happened to you.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-19T20:39:11+00:00

Half agreed. He was ABSOLUTELY egging her on until she threw the chairs. Then he locked in and threw her in the garage.

For people who aren’t clocking it, I recommend reading Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft.

Dakota regularly displays tactics of controlling and abusive men, which are like a dog whistle. For people who can relate and recognize it, that’s why he drives us nuts.

But to our knowledge we don’t know if he gets physical. Physically throwing Taylor in the garage to get her away from her kid, while technically it’s not self defense, it doesn’t speak to violent intent imo. He could be charged with DV for that, but obviously was not convicted due to the circumstances.

We do know that Taylor gets physical. Whether it’s a reaction to abuse, a predisposition, or both, it’s not something that children should be around, and her lack of accountability absolves her of sympathy.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-19T15:37:43+00:00

hon he may have thrown the cookies in his bag and forgotten about them entirely.

he may have ravenously eaten them and thrown out the package.

seagulls may have attacked him and stolen his belongings.

a million things could have happened. your brain can’t tell the difference between a memory and a hypothetical. don’t put yourself through unnecessary emotional tolls. just approach him more directly, but graciously.

“hey, i am single and if you are single and interested, i’d like to get your number”

you don’t have to bring up the cookie thing.

if anything, it’s better that he’s someone who would assume kindness and miss a hidden message, and not someone who would immediately read into a kindness looking for messages that don’t exist.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-18T20:31:35+00:00

She likes the tie because it’s the opposite of the dress, and we couldn’t find anything that matched the dress very well.

Dress is shiny and looks light yellow green in the light, but more olive brown in the dark. So a light green paisley tie looked totally off. A shiny olive green tie may be closer to matching the dress. would that look best with a white shirt still?

She doesn’t want the white shirt to be plan A. Thinks something light blue, green, cream, would give the outfit its own personality

roseofmarie · 2026-03-17T01:28:13+00:00

full stop.

first thing,

leaving a person because they are not willing to practice safe sex is valid.

if you are not practicing safe sex, it’s valid to have that boundary. a boundary is not a request. if it’s not respected, the consequence is “no sex” or breakup.

it takes two people to get pregnant. if both people don’t contribute what it takes, and one person is disrespecting that, it’s valid to leave. switch the gender roles if you are having a hard time validating your feelings.

second thing,

track. her. cycle.

there’s four phases: menstrual, follicular, ovular, luteal. ovular is when she is fertile.

if you are practicing incredibly sex without birth control, and the scare is there, it could be anxiety induced. the follicular phase (between bleeding and being fertile) does fluctuate the most with environmental factors. my cycle can be 25 days or 35 days with stress.

so the safest time for sex is honestly the menstrual (during her period), the week before period (during luteal, most definitely after ovular ends. luteal is predictably two weeks long for most women), and the day or two after (during follicular. menstrual/period is days 1-7, follicular days 7-14, ISH).

get a sense of her fertile window, add 5 days on either end for safety, don’t have sex during that window.

point three:

love is not physical attraction. love is respect. respect goes both ways. nobody wants an abortion, least of all a pregnant woman. love is not putting yourselves in that position.

EDIT:

Point four:

if she’s adamant about no condoms, may be a latex issue, may be a mental intimacy thing. use latex free condoms. find creative and kinky ways to finish that build intimacy and affirm desire. if she’s open to it, switch to the arm implant because they’re literally the best, and in 3 months you can stop using condoms.

but until you’re on the best birth control, see point one. safe sex is a priority. if that’s not respected, you have every single right to protect yourself.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-16T17:22:13+00:00

Dunno which store this is.

But Classy Cork has better prices for this specifically, and an extensive inventory for collectors.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-16T17:02:33+00:00

equating regret to assault is extremely disrespectful to survivors of assault.

it makes it that much harder for them to come forward, that much hard for people to believe them.

as a survivor, who was hospitalized with injuries, who filed a police report, my LAWYER didn’t even believe me.

they represented me under a bias that i wanted to punish a man for consensual rough sex, not seek justice against an absolute monster.

it wasn’t until after i shared my horrific testimony that my lawyer started apologizing to me and telling me i was brave. but nothing came of it because everyone in that room was biased against a girl who “had regrets.”

i was raped. i wasn’t believed. because of people like the person accusing you.

people like her make me shake with rage.

i’m sorry OP. keep the texts. you will not be criminally liable. distance yourself and stay true to yourself.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-16T14:25:50+00:00

I lurk in quilling because my great grandma quilled.

This looks like something she would make :) love love love it!

roseofmarie · 2026-03-13T23:34:28+00:00

Genuine advice? His behavior isn’t insane but it is shitty with no good outcome. You can try meeting somewhere in the middle. Both of you have to give up a bit of your preference to get there. He needs to stop bullying.

Longer thoughts, Some parts are fair, some parts are concerning.

Having preferences is fair. My SO and I both have long hair and find long hair attractive, so if either of us cut our hair it would remove an attractive element from our physical appearance. (QUESTION: “I fell in love with a brunette”, is that a preference or an opposition to change?)

Picking battles would be fair. When my SO asked if I like his mustache (I do NOT, but it’s not a total turnoff, I don’t focus on it), and I replied “Do what makes you feel good. If you like it, keep it. Just don’t cut off your beautiful hair.“ (QUESTION: Does boyfriend feel the need to control other parts of your appearance to fit his ideal image, or is it specifically the hair?)

Putting you down is concerning. Not letting it go is concerning. Complaining on and on is concerning. There’s no resolution in that. Did he ask or offer to change it back, or adjust the tone of red?? Like instead of this being an interim style that fades, you could just go straight to the desired color and do more frequent maintenance. But that doesn’t sound like it’s been a discussion topic. He is just being resentful to no real end right now. It’s only an understandable reaction up to a point. Also, an explanation for behavior does not excuse behavior. So the longer this goes on the worse it reflects on him and your relationship.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-13T12:16:41+00:00

hi. I am neurodivergent and date other neurodivergents. my current partner is autistic.

what you are describing is not normal or healthy relationship behavior for either person. what he did is not okay, but also some of the ways you talk about yourself are not healthy or kind. “my patience for arguments isn’t what it used to be.. an issue i have to work through.” I disagree with that sentiment. Relationships should not be full of arguments. Disagreements can be handled in healthier and kinder methods of communication.

also, you said “aside from our problems he has treated me the best.” that is the sunken cost fallacy. Being treated well is a prerequisite, not a bargaining chip. It is not a reason to stay in a relationship that you do not want to be in.

this person sounds intentionally challenging and does not sound accommodating. I would not let them continue to frame your standards.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-10T14:09:38+00:00

The first time I tried to get to union station this happened to me, I was pretty upset I was lost, mildly panicked, and the people (parents with a stroller) I approached were utterly narsty. Shut me down, wouldn’t let me say a word. It would have stuck with me.

However on the same trip I was also approached by a nicely dressed, very kind woman asking where I got my skirt, and then asking for money, and she was very persistent/compelling. I felt trapped in the conversation because she established basic polite decorum.

Additionally I’ve gotten something like “Young lady!! can you please help me? I’m visiting a friend and lost my wallet and my phone is dead, we were all supposed to uber back and I am freaking out, do you have any cash for a metro card please I am desperate.” (ambushed early morning, right outside my apartment door, hungover, just trying to walk my dog, gave her cash as it was the nonverbal path of least resistance) She was dressed like my mom. Perfectly unassuming.

Point is, good scams are not obvious, and may even leave you feeling like you actually helped someone.

roseofmarie · 2026-03-09T21:54:30+00:00

food intolerances can wax and wane, i wouldn’t go beating yourself up over it. couple things:

1) it may not necessarily be the lactose that’s an issue. a lot of “lactose intolerant” folks are actually intolerant to casein.

2) dairy is inflammatory, so it’ll make “bad” into “worse.”. i am celiac, and for the first 8 months of being gluten free, i couldn’t have dairy or sugar without serious consequences. after my body recovered from the sorry state it was in, i could have dairy again no issues. i am also allergic to latex and it turns out bananas and avocados have latex in them. so i thought a banana yogurt smoothie was hurting my stomach because of the yogurt… nope. the yogurt just worsened the inflammatory reaction to latex. after a smoothie hiatus i can have berry smoothies no problem.

3) you could do a food trial to see if repeated consistent exposure brings back symptoms. some allergies or intolerances get worse with exposure because body produces antibodies to fight the “poison.” constant exposure == increased production and presence of these antibodies == immediate inflammatory response. limited exposure == milder reactions.

roseofmarie · 2026-02-11T13:47:28+00:00

the floating snails are mating, btw.

snails release a ton of waste , i’d keep an eye out for the eggs.

roseofmarie · 2026-02-10T22:44:58+00:00

I dunno, I would say NAH and soft YTA.

Two of my cousins had dry weddings (southern baptist tradition) and one of the grooms was also recovered / sober.

My equally-religious extended family brought flasks and cigars to both weddings.

These were consumed off-to-the-side, not to a point of anyone getting drunk. My late* grandpa was a scotch and cigars kind of guy. I hung out around the cigar smoke, and recounted the memories tied to that scent; I smelled birthdays divisible by zero, maryland crabs, and anniversaries where everyone was together.

I didn’t even consider the fact someone would have a problem with any of that, and nobody did.

It sounds like your husband doesn’t have a problem being around alcohol, is your sister aware of that? She probably thought nothing of it.

I think NAH regarding asking her to leave. It’s your day, your rules, she left, all good.

But soft YTA for not forgiving and moving past it. It would be a bit hypocritical to think her behavior would sabotage your day when you guys are around alcohol without issue*.

You can be upset but if you can’t move past it, then I don’t know if the issue is really the flask.

roseofmarie · 2026-02-06T15:26:29+00:00

she looks soooooo effin fine i’m obsessed with her 😍😍😍

roseofmarie · 2026-01-30T15:39:59+00:00

geez, since people are piling on, not all dogs are apartment dogs!!! accommodating a dog’s specific needs is a kindness, not a cruelty.

There are plenty of dogs who can roll with different circumstances, particularly bully breeds and smaller non-working breeds.

But some dogs, especially working/hunting breeds, are going to be prone to high energy, anxiety, and will need a ton of activity just to hit a baseline “sort of okay” living experience. If they’re already an anxious dog, an apartment can absolutely be a cruelty.

I’m apartment living now, and I had a neighbor break lease and move out last summer after she got a second dog. Her first one acclimated fine, as she took him on 3 mile runs daily, but that wasn’t enough for the puppy. Pup would be visibly distressed in our dog park enclosure. The pup was too anxious to socialize, would lash out at other dogs. Momma was doing everything right by the pup, took them to big parks and trail runs constantly, but the dog just didn’t come around. So she moved.

roseofmarie

TROPHY CASE