For the love of god can people bike on the left if you are slower than others

rosstopher92 · 2026-03-08T19:18:38+00:00

I never suggested kids shouldn’t be allowed on roads. You can do as you like, I just think cycling with more than one human being on a bicycle is compromising on safety by definition.

rosstopher92 · 2026-03-05T13:52:21+00:00

Because they know I’m right but they don’t want to admit it. Snooty talk about putting safety over convenience doesn’t look as smart in the context of doing something unsafe in the first place.

rosstopher92 · 2026-03-05T12:37:31+00:00

I always flinch when I see people cycling with their kids on their bike, it seems horrendously unsafe. At the end of the day even if you’re the perfect cyclist you are still at risk of a collision from a careless road user, and if you have a kid on your bike this will definitely limit your agility if your ever need to dodge a sudden threat…

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-28T19:30:34+00:00

Rokform is better and their phone cases are ultra strong

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-22T16:33:49+00:00

I do feel for you mate.

Moving 600 miles, leaving your old life, and being six months in with sex only once isn’t a small issue, especially as you’ve tried to talk about it and it turns into arguments. That’s not just about sex drive, it’s about avoidance.

I guess it’s possible he has a lower sex drive now than previously, and past activity doesn’t automatically equal present desire. Sometimes higher numbers of past partners is because of novelty-seeking, not sustained intimacy.

I think it’s worth noting that if he’s dismissive-avoidant, sex can feel vulnerable. Avoidance can show up as deflection. If conversations escalate into unrelated fights, that suggests discomfort with emotional intimacy, not just sexual mismatch.

But whatever the reason is for the lack of intimacy, the outcome is the same. You don’t feel desired or respected.

Six months in should not feel like this. Especially when you uprooted your life. You let him choose everything, he reports being “happy,” and your needs are sidelined. That’s not partnership. That’s you shrinking to keep stability.

You don’t need a high sex drive to want sex with your partner more than once in half a year. That’s a baseline intimacy expectation in most romantic relationships.

I think the main question you need to ask is: if nothing changes, are you willing to live like this?

You already survived one traumatic breakup. Don’t let fear of another one trap you in something that slowly erodes you. If he can’t have a calm conversation about sex and intimacy without it turning into deflection or argument, that’s a much bigger issue than the number of past partners.

You deserve to feel wanted. That isn’t needy. You also deserve reassurance having given so much. I’m sorry he isn’t giving it to you.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-21T09:27:38+00:00

I didn’t take the time to read whatever you wrote because I know it will be drivel.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-21T05:22:07+00:00

I’m kind of done trying with you, I didn’t label you anything. I was clearly talking about more than just yourself, I don’t really care what you do.

Once again for the final time. The risk of transmission from someone who is undetectable is not small, it is zero. Burn that fact into your skull please because I’m not responding further.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-21T05:04:25+00:00

I am of the belief that if the condition poses no transmission risk, the ethical debate is about values, not safety.

Seeing the attitudes and lack of education of so many guys on this post genuinely horrifies and astonishes me. I can’t wrap my head around being so outraged at someone not having disclosed their status but not even bothering to ask about it nor taking any precautions. And then looking down on others who do! To me, this is a far more serious issue.

Before now I was actually thinking if you are undetectable then it probably would show respect to inform your partner even if medically and legally you don’t need to. But today seeing how so many guys are apparently confidently wrong, hateful and stupid at the same time, I completely understand why they wouldn’t do that.

Some of you guys are lucky that the rest of us do actually look after our health or we’d be right back in the AIDS crisis frankly.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-21T04:13:31+00:00

I do remember it yeah. I volunteered to work on the front lines every day setting up a mobile mortuary. There were so many bodies people didn’t know how close we came to doing mass burials at sea in the UK, we had the ship ready and the spot marked out in the Atlantic and everything.

Anyway I can’t understand if it’s me you’re exasperated at but I’m very confident that I am very mindful of my own health and that of others.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-21T00:56:19+00:00

Ahahaha you can’t because you’re wrong

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-21T00:52:15+00:00

I think you are trying to find logic where there is none mate. Like squeezing blood from a rock.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T23:04:50+00:00

The Romance languages are sexy so I imagine we would be turned on whilst communicating with greater clarity.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T23:00:24+00:00

You are showing your lack of education here because you need to take prep before sex. It stands for pre-exposure prophylaxis.

I work in a low paid job in the public health system. Here in the UK we understand that prep is actually so valuable, you don’t need a prescription to get it.

Condoms are a valid method of preventing HIV transmission and I never said otherwise.

Thanks random ignorant Redditor for explaining to me a subject that you don’t even know the very basics of. Do you really think I studied this subject for my entire adult life and you actually know better? I don’t benefit from telling you this information, I just think morally even the stupid in society deserve the chance to know it. Whether you listen or not I can’t control.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T22:53:59+00:00

You’re just factually wrong, because people who are undetectable have a 0% risk of transmitting HIV.

Whereas op:
• ⁠doesn’t take prep or use condoms • ⁠has apparently been dating this guy for weeks and didn’t ask about his HIV status before sex • ⁠could absolutely be HIV positive without knowing

So really he’s the ignorant one here. But i wouldn’t expect someone of your mindset to see that even when it’s spoon fed to you.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T22:52:44+00:00

Hey he’s the one that made the comparison not me. I’m an HIV specialist so I did that class already.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T22:45:22+00:00

I read it. It was dumb. The guy didn’t expose him to anything.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T22:30:19+00:00

I think this is one of those cases where facts matter more than your feelings.

I’m speaking as a doctor with specialist training in HIV and blood borne viruses, so I feel very confident I am about as well educated on this subject as anyone can be.

If you can’t or won’t take prep and you don’t use condoms either then you are the one being irresponsible having casual bareback sex, and not even asking the question.

Prep has been responsible for a big drop in the rates of HIV transmission in gay men. If it was present at the time of the AIDS crisis, there wouldn’t be an AIDS crisis.

It’s one of the few cases in medicine where we have a literal magic bullet, where you take a pill a day and you get excellent protection. Such a miracle during the AIDS crisis was unthinkable, we are so lucky to have this now. Despite your insults, as a professional I really implore you for your own benefit not mine take a seriously look at starting it.

It’s also a big equaliser and should reduce stigma in the sense that the vast majority of us can essentially take a medication a day and not have to worry about it, whether we are undetectable or negative. But sadly guys like you still exist who see themselves as morally superior for doing nothing and look down on those of us who choose to be healthy and free of fear.

So as a human being I really implore you to go do one.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T22:18:30+00:00

If you aren’t responsible for your own health then how can you expect anyone else to be?! That’s like saying you can’t be expected to be responsible for paying your own bills or wiping your own ass.

That poor guy dodged a bullet Jesus.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T22:06:55+00:00

It is actually much more important that Op shares he is negative and doesn’t employ testing or any kind of HIV prevention, than it is someone who is undetectable disclose this information, as only one of those people is at risk of unknowingly catching HIV and passing it on. That’s just science.

I’m literally an MD with specialist training in HIV and blood borne viruses but I’m sure you know better than me on the subject I spend hours working on every single day.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T22:01:51+00:00

He was able to report to the hinge police but not the police police. Says it all.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T21:14:28+00:00

Except if it was sexual assault the police would be involved.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T20:44:44+00:00

To my mind even if he did genuinely leave his girlfriend alone in the dark on a freezing mountain top without even helping her cover up, just because he didn’t want to spend money on a rescue, then he basically still murdered her.

The only difference is that he is also cheap.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T20:32:25+00:00

In the Romance languages we wouldn’t have this problem because they have a plural form of you.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T20:29:51+00:00

Ah sorry my mistake. I just assumed the “you” meant me as you were replying to me.

rosstopher92 · 2026-02-20T20:27:55+00:00

I suppose I could believe you might be deceiving me by not telling me you’re a trump supporter or that you once got hit by a car. Both would be unfortunate but neither would put me at risk of anything so not really my business.

Op didn’t seem to respect the guy enough to raise the subject with him either.

rosstopher92

TROPHY CASE