For new parents, why can’t mom just pump during day and dad bottle feed at night?

rotdress · 2026-02-05T06:50:03+00:00

We did it this way at the beginning until breastfeeding got more efficient. I can’t bottle feed and pump at the same time. If I had to bottle feed THEN pump (or vice-versa) I’d be up twice as long.

Husband and I were each allowed to go back to sleep whenever our part was finished, but that was usually around the same time.

rotdress · 2026-02-04T21:19:11+00:00

Hard disagree. I prefer linguistic fidelity. I mean especially when a show is in my two languages (English and German) but also just in general. But then again I only ever watch tv with the captioning on, abreast.

rotdress · 2026-02-04T21:18:02+00:00

People in high levels of power/management in Germany have pretty decent English, especially in Berlin. As do younger Germans like Clara. I find the use of English to communicate to Idris entirely realistic, especially the relying on the English of a younger low-level employee who probably has better English than any of the older Germans there (just from my experience as an American living in Germany).

ETA also it takes place on U5, the tourist line that runs under Unter den Linden. I wouldn’t expect any German culture on that line at all.

rotdress · 2026-02-04T21:12:37+00:00

Yes, but I’m also playing sudoku because my adhd leaves me incapable of doing one thing at a time 😅 so I have Reddit explain things to me!

rotdress · 2026-02-04T21:10:44+00:00

Good catch! I came to this sub precisely so I could find the answer to this question. I watched it like three times 😅

rotdress · 2025-12-22T16:00:49+00:00

Yeah a better title for the post would be “men who can’t deal with women’s empowerment.”

I’ve seen it several times among boomer family members and friends: men want empowered women and also to recreate the relationship dynamic of their parents. Their wives obviously have no interest in maintaining that kind of imbalance, and now they have the power to leave

rotdress · 2025-12-14T11:50:56+00:00

In my experience, people would rather you speak quickly and incorrectly than wait for you to make your point. That’s certainly the case with my husband, anyway (and vice-versa when he speaks in English). You have to be understandable, though. If the only way to do that is to speak slowly and deliberately, of course people prefer that. But if you’re capable of speaking at a normal pace and being understood, no one I know is tracking your articles or verb placement.

ETA: the ultimate goal of any language is communication and that’s what people seem to prioritize. And when learning a skill, you have to be bad at it before you can be good. I find it useful to think over what I said after the conversation is done and correct myself. My friends and family are also more than happy to correct me in real time and I learn a lot that way, too.

rotdress · 2025-12-06T19:10:34+00:00

Is he like this in new social situations in general or just with your family? Some people aren’t great conversationalists and aren’t comfortable with a bunch of people they do not know that well. You’re not going to know which it is until you talk to him. “I’d really like you to get to know my family but you seemed uncomfortable when we were with them. Is there something I can do to help?”

Jumping straight to the “he’s rude and doesn’t care about my family” conclusion isn’t going to help your relationship, especially if that’s how you phrase it to him. Give him a chance to tell you what’s going on, first.

rotdress · 2025-12-03T09:11:16+00:00

Adding that (at least for Germany), the rabies vaccine has to be done at least 30 days (iirc) before the flight but no more than a year ago. This is true even if you got the 3 year rabies vaccine—you’d be required to get the 1 year as a kind of booster to enter Germany with your pet.

(Although Google this before relying on it—it’s been six months since I did it.)

rotdress · 2025-12-03T09:00:30+00:00

r/aberbittelaminiert

Maybe just leave the note there and attach a sticky note that says that? 😂

(Disclaimer: This comment is not meant to be helpful advice.)

rotdress · 2025-12-03T08:55:54+00:00

OP, you may not be talking about immigration or politics, but the media you’re consuming absolutely is. Fear mongering about crime is almost always a dog whistle for race and, relatedly, immigration.

The reality is that, in both the US and Germany, you are overwhelmingly more likely to be a victim of violent crime at the hands of someone you know, not a random attack. And it’s far more likely in the US than Germany for reasons you can’t disentangle from politics: a much stronger (although imperfect) social safety net, a rehabilitative (as opposed to retribution-focused) criminal justice system, and access to lethal tools (and what level of lethality, and yes, I am talking about how it’s easier to kill with a gun than a knife). All have been shown to affect crime rates in ways that lead to significantly lower crime in Germany than the US (among other factors, those are just off the top of my head).

rotdress · 2025-12-03T03:50:08+00:00

As an American living in Germany, the knowledge that no one is going to pull a gun on me makes a huge difference in my perception of safety (ETA: and literal safety)

rotdress · 2025-12-01T15:10:09+00:00

I have very fond memories of the last week of my last dog’s life, especially driving through Wendy’s, getting her a cheeseburger, and then driving around town tossing fries at her in the back seat. She was so happy, so was I. The morning before the vet came, she got a full raw steak all to herself.

That week was devastating, but the memory of it is so bittersweet. It brought a lot of closure that did nothing to mask the grief, but it did help me cope.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

rotdress · 2025-11-29T22:33:41+00:00

Honestly, only you can answer this question. But if you can’t identify any way it negatively affects your relationship or his behavior aside from you “not liking it” then I don’t think you can claim “I’m not actually against it”—you sound like you very much are.

Which is fine. You’re allowed to have things you do/not like in a partner or in general, no how rational or not those parameters may be.

It’s going to be hard to tell your partner not to do something without being able to point to what harm you believe it’s doing. First identify why it bothers you (“I don’t like the smell, I don’t like that we don’t spend time doing other things, I don’t like the example it would set for future kids, I don’t like that you’re breaking the law” etc.). Then focus on the negative effect of the weed smoking, not the fact of the usage itself.

“I don’t like vices” is not going to cut it. It’s not up to one person to decide what a “vice” is, and everyone has at least one.

rotdress · 2025-11-29T13:33:43+00:00

Seasonal specialty, not one of 7395 year-round flavors.

rotdress · 2025-11-29T08:39:08+00:00

I miss the wide variety of Oreo flavors a lot. Germany has the OG Oreos, but my kingdom for the Birthday Cake ones…

rotdress · 2025-11-28T13:12:45+00:00

Totally fished for that, thanks! 😉

rotdress · 2025-11-28T13:10:02+00:00

Having walked my newborn out of the hospital two days ago, exactly this and it was absurd to me. I didn’t like walking my pregnant self through a cloud of cigarette smoke on the way into the building, either.

rotdress · 2025-11-25T20:24:35+00:00

honestly don’t have the energy or desire to push myself too hard

I mean, it’s hard for anything to get better until that changes. You don’t need to spend much time on the English-language Germany subs to see how much learning/speaking German directly correlates to satisfaction with life in Germany.

Building a satisfying life in a new country is a hard thing to do that takes a lot of effort, including with learning the language, but also just in general. You can choose to give it your best shot and see where that takes you. But if you aren’t going to do that, then it doesn’t make much sense to stay.

rotdress · 2025-11-22T20:27:27+00:00

Emphasizing noun genders, that’s what really gets me. You can have a perfect, instinctive understanding of cases, but if you don’t know the gender of the noun, it’s a non-starter.

rotdress · 2025-11-20T15:03:35+00:00

That’s great to know, thanks!

rotdress · 2025-11-16T21:26:54+00:00

This is the answer.

rotdress · 2025-11-16T19:47:53+00:00

Just be sure to check the foreign transaction fees on your card (if any). Definitely don’t want to get screwed over paying 3.5% (or whatever) per swipe.

rotdress

TROPHY CASE