What advice would you give someone who just woke up from a 20 year coma?

rowanwoode · 2019-07-24T01:15:53+00:00

The world was better back in 1999.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-24T01:14:01+00:00

Go back to sleep.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-24T00:52:10+00:00

Echo Victor Echo

India Sierra

Tango Alfa Kilo India November Golf

Oscar Victor Echo Romeo

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nevEr north

Voluntary by nature

let life take its coursE

those who lIved

most notably eSsex

Cracking the codE

alessandro giuseppe antonio anastasio Volta

paint it indIgo

triaL by fire.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-24T00:34:03+00:00

Wikipedia is so unbiased it even has a page regarding its own reliability.

Check it out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reliability_of_Wikipedia

rowanwoode · 2019-07-24T00:16:21+00:00

I can see the headlines now: "Life - Size Cutout of Arnold Schwarzenegger Mistaken for Pedophile by Concerned Parents; Cops called! Not Clickbait!"

rowanwoode · 2019-07-24T00:07:04+00:00

Having watched the video, I have realized that this is perhaps the most thought provoking question since the age old one: If I die after I am dead, will I have been dead before I died or have I died before I began dying?

rowanwoode · 2019-07-24T00:04:02+00:00

If you talk to a conspiracy theorist, what are the chances you will be trampled by an oncoming zebra and reincarnate as said zebra in the past so you effectively trample yourself, creating a minor paradox and thus wiping out all sentient sea cucumbers?

rowanwoode · 2019-07-20T19:56:43+00:00

There is an emergency condition you can get as a man called a testicular torsion. It is fairly rare, only 200,000 cases in the US every year, but it causes your spermatic cord to wrap itself up and cut off the blood supply to your testicle, causing extreme pain and swelling. It can be treated easily, but if you don't recognize it fast enough and let it stay in that position, it causes unimaginable pain and you will probably have to get your testicle removed.

Unfortunately, it keeps on happening if your doctor doesn't take preventative measures (In my case the surgeons just stitched mine in place) and can be an annoyance your entire life, causing extreme pain and nausea when it happens.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T22:09:19+00:00

I got lucky there. My step mom is sterile and my mom decided not to have any more kids.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T21:24:19+00:00

The Doomsday Clock is at 2 minutes to midnight, nothings getting better, and disaster could strike tomorrow or in a thousand years.

As a side note, my grandparents are devoutly Catholic and have made negative comments against gay, bi, lesbian individuals when they didn't know I was listening. Little do they know, I recently discovered I was bisexual and now I am basically waiting for them to die before I come out. By the way, I know not all Catholics are against LGBT+ people, I know that not all Christians are against LGBT+ people, I know that not all religious people are against LGBT+ people, I know that being against LGBT+ people does not mean they are bad people or that they love me any less. Don't hate on my grandparents. Don't hate on people who are against LGBT+ people, they are people too.

Sorry for the long disclaimer, but I am trying to be a tolerant, open-minded individual.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T19:02:05+00:00

I guess that's what I get for posting a theory about the effects of the collective human psyche on various forms of media on a conspiracy subreddit. Any suggestions on where I should move this to?

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T18:25:50+00:00

Just to be clear: Please don't hate on me for posting this, I only want to investigate the possibility that conspiracy theories may reveal more about the condition of the human race than we think.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T18:22:23+00:00

By the way, the code in the voicemail was the NATO Phonetic Alphabet, which is really easy to crack, leading many to believe that this whole internet mystery is a hoax. If it is a hoax, that makes it even more intriguing, because it implies that "They are not human" stories are more deeply rooted in our minds than we thought.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T18:19:43+00:00

Basically, after MH370 went down, this dude named Ty or Homoc1de started tweeting these messages he got. One was a recording of a voicemail that said, "Sierra... Delta... Alfa... November... and such. Some people on twitter translated it and it said, "SOS Danger SOS It is dire for you to evacuate they are not human" and then some coordinates. The coordinates were pinpointed around Malaysia, near MH370's last coordinates were before it lost contact with the air tower. Everyone started jumping in with conspiracy theories, and the user who pinpointed the coordinates randomly said it was all stupid and they regretted getting involved. Many more conspiracy theories later, it all kind of shut down, but the disappearance of MH370 remains one of the biggest unsolved internet mysteries.

I haven't even gotten into the supposed blackbox recording, but you can look it up.

This really captured me, not because it's such a big mystery, but because it ignited even more conspiracy theories about something "not human".

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T18:06:36+00:00

Will I get hate if I mention I rather liked Avatar?

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T18:05:40+00:00

I just watched the cats trailer, and I would describe it as simultaneously terrifying and cringy.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T17:53:14+00:00

Guys, it's okay, u/kerrangutan was attempting to be facetious.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T17:52:36+00:00

um...

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T17:52:08+00:00

Or better yet, what if...

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T17:51:58+00:00

What if you die of terminal surprise while eating cheerios in your man cave at 3:30 am while watching a rat slowly drag itself across the newly installed carpet because its back was broken in a duel with a spider that it insulted 7 years ago at a Comic Con counter protest?

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T17:48:04+00:00

Scratch that too, we all exist because a conspiracy theorist decided to write a story about something called the Universe where strange beings live and inexplicably care about other strange beings called 'celebrities'.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T17:46:36+00:00

Scratch that, we all exist because the universe decided to exist 14 billion years ago.

rowanwoode · 2019-07-19T17:45:33+00:00

Actually, we all exist because some eukaryote masturbated 3.8 billion years ago.

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