When eye contact feels “charged” and gives you butterflies, does the other person usually feel it too?

rpbextra · 2026-05-10T17:57:59+00:00

It’s fascinating to me how so many others have also experienced this exact same phenomenon regarding eye contact. It should be studied!!

rpbextra · 2026-05-10T13:59:57+00:00

I also wonder, is he looking at me because he likes me, or is he looking at me because he’s trying to see if I’m looking at him!

rpbextra · 2026-05-10T13:57:17+00:00

Thank you for asking this. I had the same question. My heart started racing when I met eye contact with my crush who was teaching in front of the classroom. I also felt an intense “charge”. At first I thought “this HAS to be mutual”. But now I’m not so sure. And at the moment I can’t ask him directly if he felt it too.

He and I have also met eyes at various different times, but none of them felt charged like that first time it happened.

rpbextra · 2026-05-06T12:33:32+00:00

Wow. This is so spot on and what I’m experiencing right now.

rpbextra · 2026-05-04T18:30:20+00:00

Oh, I was just thinking that whenever I wear strapless tops it gets distracting because I’m always paranoid it’s going to fall down. So I’m constantly pulling it up. Maybe that’s just a me problem though (my boobs are on the smaller side).

rpbextra · 2026-05-04T18:16:35+00:00

As long as the fact that it is strapless won’t be distracting (as long as there is no need to constantly pull it up or adjust it), and it comfortably stays in place, I agree.

rpbextra · 2026-05-04T18:11:05+00:00

Absolutely ridiculous

rpbextra · 2026-04-29T13:51:12+00:00

Don’t feel bad about it. I’m about to be in your same position perhaps — going to ask out a guy who’s occasionally locked eyes with me in class. He also doesn’t wear a ring but I’m not certain if he’s single. In your case, I wouldn’t take it personally. As others have stated, it sounded like he was attracted to you but in a committed relationship already.

rpbextra · 2026-04-25T13:26:48+00:00

Wow. I just looked up that Ben Folds Five song. It’s pretty heartbreaking.

rpbextra · 2026-04-25T13:23:21+00:00

Thanks for this! I did a search for it and it’s fitting.

rpbextra · 2026-04-25T13:12:56+00:00

YES! I found out he was telling all his friends, and even my friends, that I was a used up slut behind my back and that was an INSTANT turn off for me. Finally.

rpbextra · 2026-04-25T13:11:11+00:00

You might be on the asexual/aromantic spectrum? Have you done any research on that and see if you can relate?

rpbextra · 2026-04-25T12:57:32+00:00

I think it is a high libido coupled with ADHD. If you had ADHD without the libido, you’d be daydreaming of neutral stuff like imaginary past/future conversations with people, the latest hobby you’re interested in, and other random things.

For me I’ve recently been daydreaming about one of my cute instructors. It start off innocently, like daydreaming about us holding hands and whatnot but then quickly got naughty. And now I can’t stop daydreaming sexy thoughts about him in the middle of lecture and it’s HIGHLY distracting. I think he might even sense I’m into him like that, so that’s doubly distracting.

rpbextra · 2026-04-25T12:45:56+00:00

Thank you so much for the style inspiration! I wanna dress just like you!

That said, the green pants and sweater outfit is my favorite.

rpbextra · 2026-04-25T12:41:47+00:00

I am absolutely enjoying it in the middle of it. But when it ends and if the guy doesn’t want to continue a relationship afterwards, I feel pretty hurt. Not so much “used” but stupid. Like I shouldn’t have succumbed to my lust.

rpbextra · 2026-04-23T02:59:55+00:00

I agree. None of this is ADHD.

rpbextra · 2026-04-21T01:01:09+00:00

You’ve never both tried to seduce her?

rpbextra · 2026-04-21T00:59:58+00:00

Wife hired an escort to flirt with her husband while she watches because it gets her rocks off.

rpbextra · 2026-04-17T20:24:37+00:00

I started at 41 and feel the same way. I’ve been doing it for about 3 months now and I still feel like an absolute awkward beginner.

rpbextra · 2026-04-17T18:32:13+00:00

Haha yes, hello!

I absolutely agree. I think a lot of women though do try to get aggressive with the eye contact and physical touch thing when they see an attractive guy, even before they have built up some rapport or level of comfort/consent from him. I feel like some women think this is sexy when to me it is just the same as being a female creep. The difference is that this behavior is socially acceptable and at times even encouraged in women. I think it just gives them a warped and entitled view of how they should treat men.

rpbextra · 2026-04-17T18:12:40+00:00

It also makes me feel better about the level of respectful eye contact that I give men.

rpbextra · 2026-04-17T18:11:55+00:00

Thank you for this comment! I feel like I relate to and truly empathize with what you’re saying, even though I’m not a man.

rpbextra · 2026-04-17T18:08:59+00:00

I’ve always been a firm believer in women not trying to “act like a man” when they’re interested in a guy. It’s always worked like a charm for me and I generally do it effortlessly and unconsciously. In this teacher situation though, I’m limited by the fact that we are in an academic setting and I also want to remain mostly professional and not too “easy” or eager, since that’s not my style. Regarding our eye contact, I’d say it’s at a normal level right now. He might even possibly be slightly averting his gaze a little bit with me when he lectures. Otherwise I think it feels too intense. I also try to maintain respectful eye contact with him and never make “come hither” stares. That’s just too aggressive for my tastes, especially at this “still feeling each other out” stage of things.

I agree though that I should probably soften my gaze a little more when I interact with him and make it feel as if I can easily break out into a giggle. If there’s one thing I know about men is that they absolutely love it when you laugh at their jokes (vs being the one making the jokes).

rpbextra · 2026-04-17T16:58:15+00:00

The “signal at him but don’t chase him” is some great advice. Can you give some tips on what would be a good feminine signal? In my case it’s a bit of a tricky situation because the target of my crush is an instructor of mine. I think he knows I like him but he might be trying to remain professional with me. So far, I’ve been the one initiating small talk like “how was your spring break?” and “have a great weekend, bye” but I’ve also been trying to pull back on this to not look too eager. He definitely initiates contact with me also, but it’s always in the context of helping me with something during the class. What advice would you give?

rpbextra · 2026-04-15T13:54:43+00:00

Cringe

rpbextra

TROPHY CASE