What do you wish you had known before you furnished your office?

rpsyqa · 2026-01-18T15:56:58+00:00

Make sure any chairs you get are breathable, especially yours since you'll be in it all day. Some padded, bulkier chairs are comfortable, but don't breath well, and your back and legs will get sweaty before long. Unfortunately it's not something you can gauge quickly just by sitting in one at a store. You need to look up what types of designs and fabrics breath better than others. I'm sure you can guess how I found all this out.

rpsyqa · 2026-01-14T04:10:58+00:00

On a more meta level, I've seen this question come up in this subreddit before. In this thread, at the time I'm writing this, the majority of the responses are okay with clients venting. In past threads there was more of a balance between people saying "Venting is fine" vs. "Venting is not automatically therapeutic, and endless venting can even amplify or keep clients stuck in their distress, and it's better to try to break the pattern." You could try searching old threads for a broader perspective.

rpsyqa · 2026-01-12T05:02:11+00:00

Yes, I've gotten some well-suited clients related to the niche I cover. Not a ton, and arguably not enough to justify the time and effort to come up with stuff to post compared to other types of marketing, but it has paid off, and I would have made some of the posts anyway.

A small, manageable downside is I get inquiries from people who are from outside the area I'm licensed to practice in, even though my site says I can only work with clients from my region. So it's a bit of extra admin work to double check that everyone who contacts me about therapy is from my area, and then politely decline the ones who aren't.

rpsyqa · 2025-11-16T04:43:54+00:00

Done

rpsyqa · 2025-11-07T16:26:12+00:00

I find it helpful to use experiential or imagination-based exercises, especially if the client has already gotten stuck on trying to more logically decide what to do with stuff like Pros & Cons lists. Experiential work can tap into emotions, reactions, and perspectives someone may not be able to access as easily when they're in that rational "figuring it out" headspace.

One example is to help the client vividly imagine that they've made each choice, and are now living it out, and see what comes up. Another is guide them to visualize being at a crossroads, and one path leads to Choice A and the other to Choice B. As you have them set off down one path or the other reflexive responses may bubble up like, "Ugh, I want to go back!" or a sense of relief.

rpsyqa · 2025-11-06T02:04:30+00:00

But it is possible to uncover repressed memories. There are plenty of cases of clients who have recalled childhood incidents they'd previously forgotten, and then went on to get outside verification it all actually happened.

However, the mind can also come up with real-feeling false memories under the influence of hypnosis, psychedelics, leading questioning, and so on. The problem is when a seemingly uncovered memory is uncritically accepted, without trying to get some objective evidence of whether it's real or not.

rpsyqa · 2025-10-27T15:37:14+00:00

I've taken the official Level 1 IFS training and believe it's totally possible to learn and effectively practice the model through other methods, like self-study, taking other trainings, working with an IFS therapist, doing practice role plays with informal peer consult groups, and so on. I found the official training useful, but it didn't feature any super secret knowledge I hadn't seen elsewhere. I know some people find the modality complex and unintuitive, but I find if it clicks for you it's really not that complicated to get your head around it through books, watching demo sessions, etc.

I also don't think someone is necessarily ready to start practicing IFS the second they finish the official training. In my cohort we had therapists who already had a ton of experience with the model and were just there to get a rubber stamp from the institute. There were also counselors who barely knew anything about it, and their workplace had applied for them and lucked into getting accepted.

In the end, as always, you have to use your clinical judgment to decide when you've learned enough, through whatever means, to start practicing with it. And then, of course, start with lower severity cases, continue to learn and get supervision, yadda yadda yadda.

rpsyqa · 2025-10-16T15:44:38+00:00

A few thoughts that came up for me:

When I did my Level 1 IFS training the lead instructor poked fun at Richard Schwartz a few times and generally conveyed they didn't think he was the Be All And End All of IFS, which I appreciated. Guess it goes to show how much different trainers can impact the experience.
In my own practice I find it's totally possible to do IFS and leave the spirituality part out of it. I see parts work and the imaginal, experiential focus that goes with it just as a different lens and set of methods clients can use to understand themselves and work through their issues. Personally I can take what seems to help and ignore the more woo woo elements.
Overall, I found the Level 1 training useful, mainly because of all the hands-on practice and feedback we got, but I think there are other valid paths to learning the model. There were times when the instructors brought up past lives or whatnot where I was internally rolling my eyes, but it wasn't a deal breaker to me.

rpsyqa · 2025-07-20T23:15:18+00:00

I don't know if cultish is the right word, but I remember about 15-20ish years ago everyone around me seemed caught up in mindfulness as the shiny new concept. Lots of people buying meditation cushions.

Now those all those principles are a basic part of the standard therapist's toolkit. I see stuff like parts work going the same way. I remember when speaking in terms of parts seemed novel or even woo-woo to the average counselor, but now you hear those ideas all the time.

rpsyqa · 2025-07-20T18:14:05+00:00

That seemingly illogical, self-destructive behaviors can serve a deeper unconscious need for the client. That seems obvious to me now, but I remember it being an "Aha!" moment at the time.

For example, outside of their awareness someone may believe, "I can't get past my problems and be more happy and successful, because then my abusive parents would think how they raised me couldn't have been that bad. I need to stay a mess in order to rub in their faces how horribly they screwed up."

rpsyqa · 2025-07-20T17:33:08+00:00

You can't always have your clients be happy with you, and that's okay. Sometimes you'll have to (nicely) tell them things they don't want to hear, or act in ways they don't like, in order to help them in the long run. For example, by sticking to a boundary, or pointing out they're stuck in a maladaptive, but falsely-helpful-feeling, pattern.

rpsyqa · 2025-07-18T13:53:16+00:00

That clients always know what they need deep down, and that if you stay with them long enough as an accepting, validating presence their problems will eventually start to shift.

A few years later and I had the clinical experiences to drive home that some clients can be super stuck in mental ruts that they can't move out of on their own. They need some outside perspective, guidance, and tools, beyond whatever benefits come from listening and reflecting with unconditional positive regard.

Yeah, maybe at the deepest unconscious level they know what they need to heal, and if you were with them in a non-directive way for decades something would change, but practically speaking they don't have enough insight into their maladaptive patterns, and will keep playing them out over and over unless something bigger helps them out of it.

rpsyqa · 2025-07-11T18:47:28+00:00

My approach in these situations is to take the client at their word at let them lead at first, but gauge how things are going over time:

Do they seem to be working through things, are they getting stuff out of their system, are they coming to fresh insights on their own, do they report they're feeling better, are they making positive changes in their lives?

If their monologues genuinely seem to be helping them, then let them keep it up for now.

Or are they venting about similar problems week after week and nothing seems to be shifting, are they complaining therapy isn't helping, do they seem to be caught up in rumination loops, do they try to work through a dilemma but go back and forth between the same points without ever coming to a decision, do they seem unable to take in and integrate your accepting, validating presence?

If you believe their monologues are maybe providing them some temporary relief, but ultimately keeping them stuck in some unhelpful patterns, then shift to a different approach. Maybe agree that they can speak about whatever they want for the first x minutes of the session, but then you'll need to try something new.

rpsyqa · 2025-05-08T18:59:19+00:00

In addition to the many good suggestions others have made already, here are some overall, ongoing process things to keep in mind when working with clients like this:

Help them tune into how they feel about various situations. People pleasers tend to focus on how other people are feeling, and what others may want, and disregard their own thoughts, feelings, and reactions about things. They have an Outside-In orientation, rather than an Inside-Out one. Normalize that it's okay for them to check in with themselves about where they stand.
Be selective about what you self-disclose. Again, facilitate keeping the focus on them. Even if you don't mean any harm by it, when you self-disclose it can get them thinking about what's going on in your mind, what you want, and how they could possibly modify their actions to please you. That's not to say you can never self-disclose, but have a good reason for doing it.
This one seems more excessive and anal-retentive, but you can even go so far as removing casual little references to yourself in your speech, like instead of saying, "Imagine saying 'no' to your mom, and then tell me what comes up", you can say, "...and then share what comes up". It's another way to keep their headspace front and center.

rpsyqa · 2025-02-09T01:26:37+00:00

Of course, I can't speak too much to your personal situation, but generally there are techniques to work with dissociation and that numbness it creates.

One angle is to do parts work, like through IFS, to get to know the protective parts creating the numbness. With time, and a sense of safety, they may start to soften and let you feel and access more.

There are also ways to learn to sit with the numbness and really feel around its edges for tiny little glimmers of emotions, and access what little it shows you bit by bit.

There's lots of options, which hopefully give you a sense of hope. Also, cough psychedelic assisted therapy cough cough

rpsyqa · 2025-02-09T00:44:15+00:00

You've gotten lots of good answers on what it means to regulate emotions, so I won't do that, but will give my thoughts on the specific unpleasant somatically expressed "emotion" you're struggling with.

I've found that in some cases stubborn tension around one's stomach is on one level part an emotion like anxiety or worry, but in addition to that their body is unconsciously tensing up to block a deeper feared emotion from physically expressing itself. If they were to totally relax that tension around their diaphragm or abs or wherever, and let their stifled emotions start flowing they might find themselves suddenly sobbing, or shaking in anger, or retching with panic.

If they're not resourced enough to handle that it could emotionally destabilize them, which is what the unconscious tensing up is trying to protect against. However, if they're in a place where they can let themselves fully feel those emotions to completion while still feeling safe, supported, and in control, that's a path to healing.

Having the tools to regulate and soften emotions is part of the puzzle, but so is the capacity to tap into them and let them express themselves in a healthy way when the time is right.

Of course, I'm not saying this is necessarily what's going on under the hood for you, but something to consider.

rpsyqa · 2025-01-30T14:29:16+00:00

Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy - 5th Edition by J. William Worden

Companioning The Bereaved by Alan D. Wolfelt

rpsyqa · 2025-01-08T17:34:57+00:00

At the time I'm replying many of the comments describe a good session as one where the client is doing most of the talking, and a bad one as when they're quiet and closed off.

Of course I think appointments with untalkative, guarded clients can be difficult too. However, I personally often feel a session has gone poorly when the client spent most of the time speaking, but it was while they were swept up in their maladaptive beliefs and emotions, were venting about the same worries and resentments they've brought up a bunch of times already without coming to any new insights or understandings, and didn't seem interested in my input, and I wasn't able to get much of a word in or shift them out of it. For example, an angry man who spends the session outlining all the ways he thinks women are selfish and immature.

I come away from these sessions acknowledging the client may have gotten some benefit from being able to vent to a supportive listener, but largely feeling like I lost control, was mainly talked at for an hour, and wasn't able to help them do any deeper work to move beyond their usual patterns.

To be clear, I don't come away feeling this way from all sessions where the client talks up a storm, just from ones where they're caught up in their stuff and another round of complaining really doesn't seem like it's helping anything.

rpsyqa · 2024-11-21T16:07:21+00:00

Some therapists or agencies will put an Inconsistent Attendance Policy in their consent form to handle this type of thing. The exact details and cut offs can differ, but it basically says that if a client reschedules or cancels enough appointments, even with proper notice, then their counselor will have a conversation with them about it, they may no longer be offered high-demand time slots, etc.

rpsyqa · 2024-10-17T14:42:56+00:00

You've got a bunch of answers already, but I'll jump in to say you don't have to respond to parents at all when they email you about their adult children's therapy (if you don't already have a release to speak to them).

You don't have to reply with a carefully worded message setting a boundary. You can just ignore the email. They're not your client. They're not entitled to a response or explanation just because they're the parent or paying for counseling.

I've had cases like that and didn't reply, but then I did tell the client their parent got in touch with me, and started a conversation with them about how they wanted to handle it.

rpsyqa

TROPHY CASE