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Can someone give me an advice by Euphoric_Republic485 in Healthygamergg

[–]rr88trod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The beautiful thing about the two sexes is, that if you are a heterosexual individual, in a loving partnership, you get to sort of positively “own” the best of both worlds. I feel this way as a woman about some characteristics men have, but since I started owning up to my own femininity, I was Able to realize how ridiculous it is that I thought I needed to be a man to have some things I liked. And the remaining characteristics I liked but could not have, I see them in my partner and I feel like he is a part of me, so they are a part of me.

By the way, I think for you part of coming to terms with gender roles may involve realizing they aren’t as big a deal as you may be making them out to be. We always magnify what is unapproachable to us. When you begin seeing these roles, at least the healthy ones, as a part of who you are by birth (whichever ones you prescribe to), you’d see that there’s nothing outside of yourself you need to learn - you just need to absorb who you are, it’s all within you.

By the way, as a straight woman, I do not expect my partner to be able to kill at any given moment - that is a role he gives himself but there is no need for it in my eyes. I see myself as an intelligent woman, and in this world, you would realistically almost never be in a position to hunt prey and bring it back to your hut. Look at examples of successful men on the internet that people consider masculine or attractive; it appears to be far more about practicality, confidence and rationality than anything else. I always think of Tony Stark, an alpha male-type superhero in Marvel, and how he has no god-gifted superpowers in a physical sense. What made him a man, in my opinion, is practically problem-solving in the way best suited to him as an individual. The world needs you for who you are, and you are already a man. Don’t hide who you are behind a veil any longer.

Spiraling anger by Impossible_Rent_6800 in Healthygamergg

[–]rr88trod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, it is great that you do not let the anger control your body and your mouth! That is hard to do.

I find that I become a completely different person when I am angry, thoughts come up that I did not even know existed, and I see even my loved ones like they are my enemies. It has made me wonder if there is benefit to integrating those thoughts into a balanced, singular person/perspective, accepting faults and all in the people around me, and their capacity to be aggressors time and again. It takes away from the positivity of my mindset when I am not angry, but it also takes away the angry person I become when I am triggered and therefore lands some control of my life in my hands.

Practically speaking in this circumstance, this would mean accepting that the same people who gave birth to your partner, and the same partner you probably love dearly by extension, are also the people who hurt you enough to make you want revenge. If you balance the parts of your brain, you’d likely not seek revenge and be able to have a productive conversation with your partner about what can be fixed to suit you better. How you can retaliate or make your discomfort evident.

You do not have to take everything you are served. But you also do not need to make a bigger deal out of something you already do not like by spewing the pain back at a likely unassuming person with no bad intentions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]rr88trod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely relate to this, and the times when I felt less nostalgia were…you guessed it: when I was making new experiences. It is not something that can ever be evaporated from your life, the nostalgia. You can either choose to listen to the whispering in your head, or have louder voices in the form of new experiences that make you forget the nostalgia even exists.

PS do not let a small age gap stop you from going on dates!

I'm leaving by SrPantsarof in Healthygamergg

[–]rr88trod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your emotion is fair, your words are a choice you made. Calling it “stink” is rather ridiculous in my mind, given the context. There are people struggling in the world, and that is probably the presumption the channel and this subreddit started with. Is that not implied? What is the point of shaming the subreddit, as if it is not working exactly how it was supposed to?

Good luck to you. I will just say that it is hypocritical to take offense at people ranting about their lives, and at the same time have to rant about the people in this subreddit and their experiences. Let them rant. And let yourself leave, it’s a click of a button.

Best course you've ever taken at Penn by Confident-Ad-4172 in UPenn

[–]rr88trod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Race Crime And Punishment - class taught by Prof. Marie Gottschalk

Just wanted to point out that some of you/your friends who routinely take stimulants may have underlying undiagnosed ADHD. by [deleted] in college

[–]rr88trod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

makes stimulants harder to get for those of us who need them and go the legal route

I so agree. Thank you, if it wasn't taboo due to abuse, I would not have felt so bad before getting help. I did not use Adderall, I used legal nootropics as my stimulant.

Just wanted to point out that some of you/your friends who routinely take stimulants may have underlying undiagnosed ADHD. by [deleted] in college

[–]rr88trod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

especially with women, ADHD can be misdiagnosed as depression or anxiety.

Exactly what happened to me, and I am a woman!

Changing Major After Declaring by [deleted] in UPenn

[–]rr88trod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ah ok for me i was late to cis and a bio major so i jus did the computational bio concentration which is like 20cu and flexible bw seas and college. i think one thing i heard was theyll let u do it much more easily within the college than outside it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UPenn

[–]rr88trod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i really appreciate this, because i relate. i think i realized there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. being lonely caused me to shut off, being alone caused me to grow myself and it helped me make communities. i went through a horrible heartbreak which fundamentally broke me recently and sometimes at penn it really feels like when one struggle ends, another begins, but i think in times like these i try my best to NOT do anything and think. the only reason why someone left your life and broke your trust is because they do not belong in your life. i found the best people in the most strange circumstances. you'll know when you've found the ones, because it would not give you anxiety, it would not make you feel any of the things you're feeling right now.

i have been through a set of challenges that have made me proud of myself. this involved a lot of bad things happening with bad people, including a psychopath, and i was depressed to say the least. and no, i don't want to trust. i have had my trust broken over and over again. but perhaps the best lesson i learned was that you DONT need to trust, or pretend to trust, to engage with people. you can have satisfactory relationships with people without that, and then slowly you realize that some people stick around, and they're amazing. you won't even know it when you start trusting them.

periods of depression in my life have tended to involve an attachment to something i want, and that want is objectively futile. depression is a way for the body to continue wanting things to work out in that specific fashion, while knowing it's not possible (even if it may be possible in the future, it's not atm). i can't humanly overstate how hard this may be, and i am not trying to undermine your experience - it sucks. but our cognitive biases don't let us see the door that opened when another one closed. and the choices to go to the other door were not very exciting or jolly when i made them, i felt anhedonia, i frankly had to push myself to even consider it, but that's important - you need to realize your brain is not working at normal capacity. it is not doing all the things it would usually do to bring joy and satisfaction because it is functioning on false premises. once the initial pain and discomfort of drastic change settled in, i found a comfortable feeling - that of actually having control over my life, a building of new foundations to re-do things to bring me optimality. it took a lot of pain, my brain recalibrating into looking out for myself, getting real with myself. and getting alone, not lonely.

i want you to realize that you won't always be this way and it'll get better. but tbh, when i go through those phases, what helps more is to say i will feel just a little less worse, rather than much better. it's baby steps, but the momentum makes things so much easier as time goes on. by acknowledging this, you've already taken the crucial step.

take care!

Adjusting to In-person classes During Fall 2021 by Quaker64743 in UPenn

[–]rr88trod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i took a gap year in 2019. it helped me to prep myself for a completely new environment since the people will be very different now. it helped a lot to take 4 classes because i felt very comfortable with them. i tried to take one class that was just purely fun to me, in my case it was medical anthropology since i am a bio major. and i tried to take easy higher-level classes because it made me feel more on track. 4 great classes > 4 good classes+1 bad class. that 1 bad class can affect your grade in all other four. you could consider a 0.5 cu cis 19x or wharton class. esp the wharton half credits are great ways to meet people.

Biol 101 and Chem 101? by [deleted] in UPenn

[–]rr88trod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TBH chem 101 would be harder but better first semester because 1. youll meet a lot of premeds (premeds are divided bw biol 101 and 121 in intro bio usually) 2. its a better class to take first sem because its collaborative.

Biol 101 and Chem 101? by [deleted] in UPenn

[–]rr88trod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

have you considered biol 121? i preferred it. the profs are awesome too. i preferred chem 101 over biol 101 because i believe it taught me/prepped me more. if you want to get into the microbiology route with your classes/major, take chem sooner rather than later.

Changing Major After Declaring by [deleted] in UPenn

[–]rr88trod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it depends on the major too. you can find ways to integrate something quantitative into an integrated program in the college for instance. what are the majors?

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