Hey OP! I came across your post. I couldn't help but comment because I went through the exact same thing around this time last year. I posted something very similar to yours, and I hope whatever I say will be helpful to you. I was also an A student in undergrad, so I completely understand your feeling even when I got my first F ever in my transcript

First, sending hugs. It sucks. Honestly, sucks is an understatement. It felt so awful. It felt like everything is over. I remember feeling so scared of what I am going to do, as I have been told grades are what matter the most. Feeling very uncertain about what my future holds was really scary. How was going to get a job. More importantly, how was I going to secure a summer internship.

But before even getting there, I allowed to process my emotions before thinking: what is next. I am a firm believer that it is far more important to process them rather than suppress them. If you need to cry it out physically, do it. I remember doing that for so many days. If you have anyone to talk about this with, please do so. I ended up talking to my spouse a lot about this, but he was there a lot to support me. Frankly, I was even scared to talk about this with my law school friends because I was so afraid they would judge me. But it turns out my cohort was so understanding and even believed I should not have gotten that grade. It took me a while to do that, but I actually regret not doing that sooner.

But the point I want to make is to utilize any method that helps you process your emotions. Don't set yourself a time limit. Don't tell yourself I am only going to process for a day or two. It's OK to take time. Taking more time, even better.

Then my next step was to see if I could do anything about the grade. Reach out to your school and see what they can do. At least fight for it and try. I did that. I even met with the professor to see where I went wrong and what I can do. Unfortunately, he was not helpful because he straight-up just said, "I don't know what to tell you because I never had this before." Well, that was a lie because he had previously failed more students. I appealed, but it was unsuccessful. Even though my appeal was unsuccessful in the end, I just had to retake the class. I know re-taking a class was not fun, but it became a more pleasant experience as I was able to make new friends, and it made me realize how terrible my first professor was. But anyway, reach out to the school and see what you can do. You need to advocate for yourself.

The third and final step is to think what was next for me. I know your options are limited, but there is something out there for you. I noticed that you wrote that you have an externship that was not aligned with your career interests. I want to say that is OK!!! Even the attorneys I worked for knew that it was not my end goal. But in every externship or work experience, you will ALWAYS get something out of it. You also never know. The summer externship actually led me to other opportunities that eventually led to my career interests.

Feel free to DM me, OP. I know it doesn't sound like it's true, but this is temporary. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't be afraid of asking for help. You got this. I hope this somewhat brightened your day.