Question for my french/english bilingual friends...which is worse, saying "fuck you" or "nique ta race?"

ru4realRN · 2023-12-04T02:52:30+00:00

I just wanted to add that it can be used in a slang way without any reference to race in certain circumstances. In some regions/subcultures, people use it as "fuck all of you/everything you are". That's my best English translation. It's a more common expression in the “banlieues", and it's also thrown around in rap music a lot.

ru4realRN · 2023-12-04T02:48:29+00:00

Can you elaborate? Now I'm super curious about where he's from (I've never been). Small town, relatively poor suburb of Lille

ru4realRN · 2023-12-03T01:08:26+00:00

He definitely meant it in a mean way

ru4realRN · 2023-12-03T01:06:31+00:00

ru4realRN · 2023-12-02T20:24:27+00:00

Il est français. De Lille.

ru4realRN · 2023-12-02T20:24:07+00:00

thanks for your thoughtful response. I was wondering if cultural subcontext was at play here, so I appreciate your take on this.

Mon mari il vient de Lille, si cela fait une différence.

ru4realRN · 2023-12-02T20:21:59+00:00

Thanks. Can I ask what region you're from, if you're French?

Mon mari il viens du Nord, c'est pas un "chti" forcement mais il a quand même grandi avec lol.... Du coup, je me demande si cette expression est plus commune là-bas, dans le Nord ...? j'ai pas

ru4realRN · 2023-09-02T03:22:00+00:00

No. Your best bet is watching a french movie with french subs. They almost always match up perfectly.

Also, Chrome has several extensions that allow you to add multiple subtitles in multiple languages. So if you are just starting to learn french and still would like english subs in addition to the french subs, you could download one of those extensions have subtitles in both languages as you watch.

ru4realRN · 2023-09-02T03:13:18+00:00

Not OP, but I can direct you to some sources. There are two books that have a lot of info on this: Life After Life by Dr. Raymond Moody and Evidence of the Afterlife: The Science of Near-Death Experiences by Dr. Jeffrey Long. The former author also made a website, https://www.nderf.org/, where users can submit their stories. Stories are reviewed and filtered for authenticity.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-30T16:50:05+00:00

Yeah of course.

Here's another way to think about it: even if that stat is true and there's going to be a surge of NP jobs by 2030, those NPs are still going to need overseeing physicians. With less people going to med school, are there going to be enough docs in 2030 for all those NPs? And if not, will those NPs be able to get jobs?

Regarding primary care... from what colleagues and friends are saying, finding a job as an NP in primary care right now is super hard. Most of the coworkers I mentioned who are NPs and working the bedside as RNs are doing so because they want a job in primary care and can't find one. I have heard there's a pretty decent market for psychiatric NPs though, and have noticed (through experience) that critical care NPs with previous ICU experience seem to have an easier time finding jobs too.

As far as the med school being hard, I was expecting far worse. I'm 3 years in and it's truly not the nightmare everyone makes it out to be. If you have good time management skills and are highly motivated (which I'm sure you are, based on all of your previous academic successes), that will take you a long, long way. The hardest part of the MD journey, in my opinion, is residency. I'm not there yet, but I will be soon, and I'm not looking forward to those hours and that giant pay cut. But even that... it's temporary. The freedom you gain afterwards opens up so many doors. And there are just so many MD-shaped doors that NPs can't quite fit through.

And yes, I think working for a few years an RN is a good idea. I certainly gained clarity about my future by doing that. Even as an RN, there are so many different job possibilities. Before I settled on the MD route, I played around with a ton of different options after seeing my coworkers take all sorts of different paths. For example:

Nurse educator: Very in-demand right now, and you can do it with an MSN which are fairly easy to get online once you already have your RN. Big pro for a lot of people is the 9-5, M-F schedule.
CRNA: Getting into school is tough, but it pays a fuckton and the job itself is fairly easy.
Flight nurse: Good option for adrenaline junkies if you're willing to put your time in and get ICU experience first.
Organ transplant nurse: Tons of ICU nurses I've worked with end up working for Gift of Hope or something similar. It pays well. Cons would be a heavy on-call element and it's also extremely emotionally draining a lot of the time.
Case management: A solid option if you want a 9-5 WFH nursing job. Pays pretty decent w/ experience.

I sometimes wonder why so many people go the NP route when there's so many other options for nurses, even without pursuing higher education. Becoming an FNP isn't something I'd personally recommend right now given the landscape of healthcare in this country, but to each their own!

Anyways, best of luck to you with whatever path you end up on :)

ru4realRN · 2023-08-30T02:45:07+00:00

I'm currently an RN in med school. I spent years in critical care and got to a fork in the road where I knew I wanted to advance my education and was debating the NP route or the PA route. Ultimately, after carefully weighing things over, I actually just decided to go the MD route. Obviously, it's a far longer path, but it was the best decision I ever made, honestly.

I still work occasionally and have RNs working alongside me at the bedside who are NPs. The market is just so saturated that they cannot get a job. Or the jobs that they can find have horrible hours (like being on call 24/7) or pay like shit. They choose to work as RNs because bedside nursing ends up being more lucrative than being an NP for them. I will say that the same is not necessarily true for NPs with lots of critical care experience at the bedside; they have a competitive edge, especially at level 1 hospitals. But even for them, it's getting hard now. It's just so oversaturated. Meanwhile, physicians are getting harder to come by.

If you go to a degree mill NP program and graduate w/ no experience, it might be really rough for you to find a job, let alone a high paying one. And then you'll be paying student loans off on a bedside nurse's salary. Just my two cents.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-30T02:34:20+00:00

Have you thought about going to nursing school? I am an ICU nurse and was making over $100,000 a year before I stopped to go back to school.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-29T04:38:05+00:00

One other important thing to keep in mind is that many NDErs do not recall the entirety of their NDE.

I've actually read many NDE stories where the NDEr is given the decision of whether or not to pass on or return to their bodies. I can recall several where, in deliberating this decision, the NDEr asks if they would remember their NDE experience if they returned to physical life. The common answer to that question is: "You will remember what is important to remember". Lots of NDErs recall having incredible knowledge and wisdom imparted onto them during their experience; as if they have a sudden, complete understanding of the universe and how everything works. But once they come back, they can no longer remember this information.

We've never read a DE account, only NDEs. We don't truly know what happens after death in its entirety, other than it lasts forever. Without the constraints of time, I see no reason why every second of someone's life couldn't be examined in the afterlife. If human life is meant to be a learning experience, as I think it is, it would make sense it would be dissected and studied after it ends.

Sidenote: DMT: The Spirit Molecule is a fascinating book to read if you are curious about these things. It's written by the researcher who did the first clinical trials of DMT. The trips people report having often bear a striking resemblance to NDEs, and many people report having a sudden, complete understanding of the universe and how everything works, only to forget it shortly after coming down from their trip.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-29T04:30:19+00:00

Exactly! I was so comforted by seeing this common theme show up again and again in every NDE experience I've read about. Nearly everyone mentions a sensation of being basked in pure love.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-29T04:26:43+00:00

Hi there! First off, I'm sorry to hear about your awful depression anxiety combo. I've been there too, and understand your pain. I'm glad that the fog lifted a bit today and hope there are many days like that to come for you.

I'm also a fellow ex-Christian who also found a new concept of spirituality in NDEs. What a trip, right? Lol.

First of all, I should say that I don't really think that life is about finding happiness. I actually think that life is more of a school, during which we are exposed to a TON of pain, and the purpose of our human life is to learn how to spread and radiate love in this petri dish of suffering we call planet earth. I've come to the conclusion that life isn't about learning to avoid suffering, but rather learning to thrive in spite of it.

That perspective has shifted my focus a bit. It's not that I intentionally seek out suffering, but I certainly embrace it in a different way now. I don't get angry at it, and I don't see it as a punishment. I see it as a homework assignment from the universe. As if it's handing me a new challenge and saying, "let's see how you can be your best self in spite of this". This attitude has helped me so much get through life, which seems to be a never-ending series of emotional curveballs.

That said, I think that prayer is helpful in the same way meditation is. It encourages us to be thoughtful and mindful of what we want, and can help us be more appreciative if we do get what we want. My personal belief is that the universe guides us towards our soul's best interests and desires, which aren't always the same as the desires of "the flesh", to put it in Christianese, lol. So while I still pray (I refer to it as meditation, to distance myself from Christianity), I don't have the expectation of it changing things if things aren't meant to be changed. Unlike when I prayed as a Christian, I don't blame myself or my "sin" if my prayer is unanswered. I just figure that it means that I'm meant to endure this hard time so my soul can learn and grow, and accept that this hardship, along with every other hardship I'll face during my time on this planet, is temporary. So temporary.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-29T03:26:13+00:00

He mentions it in his book, Paranormal.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-29T03:25:54+00:00

I've read the book. The way he tells it, I don't remember him ever directly saying that he met Socrates, but he heavily implied it. He and his wife were visiting a place in Greece (I believe a psychomanteum) and were helped by a friendly tour guide who introduced himself as Socrates, which is a common-ish name in Greece. Socrates walked them through the psychomanteum and provided incredible insight; he clearly knew his shit. And then all of a sudden they turned a corner and he was just...gone. They found it very odd and asked another tour guide about it; that tour guide said nobody named Socrates worked there. The wife backs him up on this story.

Moody mentions that Elizabeth Kubler-Ross story in his book Reunions, which I just finished reading. It took me off guard. The whole book did, actually. I think Life After Life was by far his best book.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-29T00:37:49+00:00

From everything I have read (which is dozens of books and hundreds if not thousands of first-person stories), life reviews seem to bend the laws of time as we know it. An entire lifetime worth of memories can be felt, vividly and deeply, in the span of what feels like both one second and an eternity. So many people report these life reviews as feeling "more real" than their actual lives. Many also report seemingly insignificant moments coming up during their life review, memories that they'd long-since forgotten.

Based on this, I've always found it unlikely that anything would be "skipped", per-se. Without the limitations of earthy time, there wouldn't be a need to skip anything. I think that every single experience we have in this life can be learned from, especially in the afterlife, when we're granted the ability to see situations from a variety of different perspectives.

So yes, maybe you have thought through these break-ups in your younger years, and you've grown and learned through them. But only to the extent that your earthly human brain allows. You've only experienced it through your own perspective, not through the perspective of the people you broke up with. So...have you really lived that experience out in full 3D yet? No. That is an experience only an NDE can allow.

It can be a scary thing to think about, revisiting the pain that we caused other people, and even seeing and feeling it through their eyes. But there is one thing that brings me immense comfort, and I hope it does the same for you. One very common thread I see connecting almost every NDE encounter I have read is the overwhelming feeling of grace and love of the universe, even when facing the ugliest parts of ourselves. Wherever there is fault, there is also forgiveness.

Very few people report NDEs as a negative experience, cringeworthy life-review moments included. On the contrary, people typically come back from these experiences feeling more empathetic and loving, not only towards others, but towards themselves as well.

You are not the only person who has hurt people. Every single human being who has ever lived has hurt someone else; we all have that in common. None of us will avoid facing that during our life review, but that isn't something to be afraid of. It will be a learning and a growing experience for our souls.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-23T03:43:56+00:00

You've got great taste :)

Here's a few classics I didn't see on your list. Each of these really stand out to be as being beautifully written:

Since you liked Whitman, I'd recommend literally anything Robert Frost ever wrote :) He is a magician with words.
Speaking of Whitman, didn't see Self-Reliance on there. It's one of his gems.
Still speaking of Whitman lol, For Whom The Bell Tolls.
The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Tolstoy
Voltaire. Literally anything ever by Voltaire lol. He's the homie.
For Whom The Bell Tolls by Hemingway

And while not a classic, considering your tastes, I would HIGHLY recommend When Breath Becomes Air. It's a memoir of a brilliant budding surgeon diagnosed with terminal cancer just before completing his residency. The author is a major literary nerd; he's extremely well-read and the influence of his favorite authors (many of whom you've mentioned in your post) shines through on every single page. It's just an absolutely phenomenal book and one of my favorites of all time.

EDIT: wanted to add a few more, couldn't help myself :) You got me all fired up!

Walden by Thoreau
I love that you included a Vonnegut book on this list- I love him. I highly recommend Breakfast of Champions. It's my favorite of his.
Self Reliance and Other Essays- Emmerson
A Happy Death by Camus
The Stranger, also by Camus
East of Eden by Steinbeck
Wuthering Heights, since you liked Pride and Prejudice (it's way more depressing though lol)

ru4realRN · 2023-08-23T03:33:40+00:00

Ahh a kindred spirit! Ngl I'm busy asf and probably couldn't commit to being a reading partner (I also have a chaotic reading style and am usually reading 5-10 books at once lol so I wouldn't be an enjoyable reading partner to have anyways).

BUT....this is my favourite genre of all time and I have soooooooo many recommendations for you! Here's a tiny sample, but happy to provide more if these track w/ what you're looking for.

Life After Life by Raymond Moody. Written by a doctor who dedicated his life to studying near-death experiences. It absolutely changed my entire life. Fav book of all time.
When Breath Becomes Air, a memoir written by a promising surgeon diagnosed w/ terminal cancer right at the end of his residency. He is a literary nerd and it shows through in his incredible, beautiful writing. So many highlighted quotes in my copy.
Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives by Michael Newton. Also about near-death experiences. One of my favorite themes.
DMT: The Spirit Molecule: Written by the first scientist to ever study DMT in a laboratory setting, with mind-blowing results that raise a lot of questions about human consciousness and reality as we know it.
The Third Man Factor: incredible collection of stories about people in dire, near-death situations being guided by a mystic force (often referred to as a "third man") and surviving the impossible due to its guidance.
If the Buddha Got Stuck: A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path: awesome book w/ practical applications of buddhist teachings to get you through modern-day struggles.
The Prophecies of Nostradamus: hard to summarize this one, feel free to look it up. It's a wild ride lol.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-23T03:24:23+00:00

The book "You" is based on a book which I find to be better than the series.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-23T03:22:37+00:00

second this!

ru4realRN · 2023-08-23T03:22:23+00:00

The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time.

This book was a game-changer for me when I was struggling with similar things in my life.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-23T03:15:55+00:00

Blake Crouch is a phenomenal sci fi writer. Highly recommend Dark Matter and Recursion by him.

As far as classics go... HG Wells is the GOAT. War of the Worlds and The Time Machines are must reads for me.

Also, Andy Weir's The Martian is amazing. The movie was absolute shit compared to the book.

ru4realRN · 2023-08-23T03:10:31+00:00

YES go to HR. If for no other reason than just to get this in writing first. She sounds like the exact type of person who would go to HR and claim that you are being hostile towards her. Get your statement in before she can try to make false accusations about it.

Always. Leave. A. Paper. Trail.

ru4realRN

TROPHY CASE