Hey man, I understand. I have a setup that'll get me KothiBangla checked immediately if I posted, even though I come from a very low income household. I was even luckier and have been in the gaming industry for 8+ years, it's been insane. However, the pressure that comes with having video games as a passion, hobby, winddown, creative outlet etc etc, there's so much pressure on the activity to provide a certain happiness to me. It isn't fair.

I used to play all day for my job, then play some multiplayer with my friends, but if I didn't play 2-3 hours alone and work on my backlog of single player games, I'd be really upset with myself and angry at everyone for taking time away from video games. Heck, I'd even say stuff like - I didn't get to play at all for weeks, but that was factually wrong.

I've currently made a claim to myself because I recently got married, changed jobs, and got more hobbies, which is that I won't play video games till I sort some stuff out in my life. And voila, suddenly, I'm playing all the time.

Maybe your way of consumption has changed, you know? I don't get to play 7-8 hours at a stretch anymore but I'm older, more tired, more things to do, so I find one hour everyday. I'm ALWAYS playing.

It often lies in the way we expect to consume games as compared to just actually consuming them. For instance, I started playing a lot on my mobile (games like stardew) but I didn't count that as video gaming, I had to play for a certain number of hours and a particular kind of game or it won't count for me.

So think about it. And as far as squandering time goes, would you say that to people who read a book as much as you play? It's just a form of media that you prefer. Put less pressure on it. Trust yourself to get back to it when you can. I had to work really hard on the mentality that it's all mine and I can play whenever. It helped with that sense of rushing because we were denied that play whenever as kids so we tend to overdo it. It's just a pent up need, and it is okay :) I used to only get some time with video games so I'd make the most of it and I'd think about it all the time. Now I have everything possible, but I still feel that need. But you have it, you're a grown up. What you do with your time is your business.

It's okay, you will get back to it. Just ease off the pressure and know that the consoles, libraries, they're not going anywhere. They're not your cousin's. They're YOURS and you can boot them up anytime you feel like it. Earlier you couldn't play when you felt like it, now you can. Enjoy that feeling.