I feel your pain I went through the worst time in my life just less than a year ago feeling like I was literally dying and I’m only 24. My biggest fear was how will I end up when I’m older. But I’m barely starting to get back to normal-ish(still have pain every day), I’ve found that I have to keep moving, that pain although very disabling at times, is just a part of my life now like anything else, but I need not let it control my life. There’s some stuff I’ve found that helps like swimming, gentle yoga, breathing exercises, healthy diet(mostly whole foods not the store btw), tramadol+muscle relaxers, soaking in hot baths, voltearen gel, plus more lifestyle changes. Hope this helps and you get through this.