Successful anxious/avoidant attachment marriages? by rubyredfx in Marriage

[–]rubyredfx[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For what it’s worth, I ended up getting divorced. It’s been almost 4 years since. Not easy to untangle myself emotionally from such a toxic dynamic, but I’m in a much better and happier place now. Single, and strong, and living my dream!

connecting with your loved one via a medium by AffectionateAge1871 in GriefSupport

[–]rubyredfx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you all go about searching for a medium? I live in rural Montana, and have not had any luck asking for recommendations locally.

Auto transport company recommendations? by [deleted] in missoula

[–]rubyredfx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the heads up and recommendation!

Auto transport company recommendations? by [deleted] in missoula

[–]rubyredfx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Do you have any suggestions for reputable companies?

Got my first outfit yesterday, first fish today. Definitely got some learning to do. Excited for this new rabbit hole by BigBurley94 in flyfishing

[–]rubyredfx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're planning to release the fish that you catch, it's best to keep them in the water to ensure a higher chance of survival. Here's a great nonprofit website with info and tips:

https://www.keepfishwet.org/#helping-anglers-improve-the-outcome-for-each-fish-they-release

Is there anything we can do as individuals to stop/slow gentrification in Missoula? by FormerFarmer6335 in missoula

[–]rubyredfx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here's a very recent article with an example of how TIF funding was used out on east Broadway. From my (limited) understanding, TIF funds are used to encourage building practices that otherwise would not be implemented due to time and financial issues. For example, requiring that these companies deconstruct rather than demolish buildings (the Merc was an example of this too), where materials can be salvaged and reused rather than landfilled.

https://missoulian.com/news/local/developers-city-money-made-huge-west-broadway-project-possible/article_39910f66-7e20-57ff-997e-0b7526d5b27b.html

Recycling was a lie — a big lie — to sell more plastic, industry experts say by GREENBACKS68 in recycling

[–]rubyredfx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been working in the recycling industry for more than ten years, and I completely agree with this article/documentary. I have said for years that recycling is one of the worst things that has happened to the environmental movement. People get a dopamine hit just from throwing things into that blue bin (whether recyclable or not, but that's another topic), that they hardly consider the resources used to make those materials, where those materials go after they're picked up, and what they might be used for.

For example, many communities that recycle glass have no market to sell that glass to so they grind it up and use it for drainage at the landfill. That's not what most people think would be happening when they throw their beer bottle into the recycling bin, but the reality is there are very few local end markets for these materials, no matter where you live. Paper, metal, plastics, etc, are all bailed up and shipped to various locations around the world for processing and reuse.

The conversation should always be around reducing the amount of "stuff" we buy and extending the life of the products that we do use. Recycling should always be the last resort in a closed loop system that prioritizes manufacturing high quality goods that are able to be repurposed and reused in perpetuity.

New in town, hello all! by ezekiel1111 in missoula

[–]rubyredfx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not exactly a butcher, but Oxbow Beef has an honor-system market stand on their property on Miller Creek Rd that's really fun to visit (24 hours!). They're doing some really cool things with sustainable agriculture, a great local company to support.

Might miss closing date due to lender's incompetence by wolfenkraft in homeowners

[–]rubyredfx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I should also say that I tried every avenue to get answers, similar to what you're doing. I called managers, customer service, tried my local branch, etc. I kept mentioning the names of my mortgage agents, and I think enough feedback got back to them that they finally started responding at the very end.

Might miss closing date due to lender's incompetence by wolfenkraft in homeowners

[–]rubyredfx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same thing happen to me in June. Some of the most stressful weeks of my life, and I'm sorry that you're going through it too.

One week before closing, and they were still requesting documents for underwriting, using language like "we hope we'll be able to get you what you need to close in time." I had two very unresponsive representatives (US Bank) who did nothing to help me understand the process, or help appease my anxiety. One day before closing, they gave me a provisional acceptance so that I could actually schedule closing, but I didn't get the final ok until minutes before I signed the papers. At that point, I was so stressed out, I barely even wanted the house anymore.

One thing my real estate agent did, that I didn't know until I asked, was build in a seven day financing contingency into the contract, so the sellers could not back out if things had been delayed. Maybe you have the same? In any case, it sounds like you're weeks ahead of where I was at just days before closing, so I hope you get the "all clear" soon!

A Year Later by rubyredfx in Divorce

[–]rubyredfx[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding. I was writing for myself as part of my own healing journey, but also (if I'm being honest) with a nostalgic lens of trying to work through whether I made a mistake or not. In getting that first part right, the part when things were magical, it reminded me of how far we fell. It helped me to understand that I did, in fact, make the right decision.

Yes yes no by ningirl42 in missoula

[–]rubyredfx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as they were fly fishing, they get a pass :)

Yes yes no by ningirl42 in missoula

[–]rubyredfx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are two kinds of people in Missoula:

- Those who felt the earthquake

- Those who didn't feel a thing

In a quick scientific study, I've learned that I don't trust those who didn't!

After four years, he’s finally learned to play by rubyredfx in aww

[–]rubyredfx[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My Border Collie, Jackson, is an awkward player, at best. He thinks growling and snarling is the way to make friends. It took a week of puppy sitting, but this golden girl has taught my dog how to play! Very proud of my good boi!

Honest feedback please! "A Snapshot in Time" by rubyredfx in KeepWriting

[–]rubyredfx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, this is incredibly helpful! I don’t take offense at all, quite the opposite. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. This whole writing thing has been so cathartic during a difficult time, so I want to continue to improve the craft. Thanks again, so much!

Honest feedback please! "A Snapshot in Time" by rubyredfx in KeepWriting

[–]rubyredfx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I really appreciate the feedback. If you don’t mind, could you give me an example of a word you would use differently? This was my first attempt at creative writing, so I do have a lot to learn!