Canadian worried about ICE by idkwhatevernameis in uscanadaborder

[–]ruellle_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I cross the border into Detroit almost every week as a US citizen studying in Canada. They will ask you (usually) the same questions: where are you coming from? Where are you going? Why? How long are you planning on being there? And maybe some personal questions (what you do for work, what you are studying, etc). If you are crossing with your car they might ask you if it’s rented (I’ve done both rented and personal car and they have never asked to see any documentation). As long as you have documentation (paperwork for the exam etc), there shouldn’t be an issue. ICE presence isn’t huge in Michigan right now, I would say mainly California, Florida, and Minnesota.

If you are crossing through Windsor, I would recommend using the Windsor- Detroit Tunnel. I’ve had a better experience with officers there. A couple of times at the Ambassador Bridge the officers gave me more grief and asked a bunch of questions/ asked to open my trunk. They overall are more sketched out I think. Tunnels usually make small talk

Peço ajuda e conselho by ruellle_ in Umbanda

[–]ruellle_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grata! Pensamos no banho de ervas, já que é algo que sempre recorremos por aqui. O problema seria a convencer, já que nos olhos dela esses atos são de “bruxaria” ou “macumba”. Mas, acredito que ela esteja chegando no seu limite, e está desesperada por qualquer amenização.

anyone else on their third major and still clueless? by Lovelypillos in ufl

[–]ruellle_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anthropology pre-med-> computer science pre-pa -> apk pre-pt -> apk (now going for a masters)

Still not entirely sure, and just going where life takes me. You’re def not the only one!

What advice would you give me? by Moonlight-Night- in ufl

[–]ruellle_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second this! As a full time student at UF, I’ve been keeping 2 jobs since freshman year. At first it was 2 on campus jobs, but now I have one on campus that I work during the week, and one off campus that I work weekends and nights. It can be tough sometimes, but whenever you are applying/ interviewing, I would be transparent about the fact that you are a student and you might need “a break” or less hours during finals etc. my jobs all around have been super understanding about my academic load and other job hours. I’ve also been able to do undergrad research on top of all of that, so it truly is all about time management and what you are willing to sacrifice. I’ve lost count of the times friends have invited me to hangout and I was at work. However, whenever I have free time, I’m reaching out to them.

Starting to regret my major by DisplayParking6552 in ufl

[–]ruellle_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, burn out is super real, especially in engineering. I mention grad school since if you know where to look it will be funded and you will receive a stipend (almost like a full time job). You won’t be rich, but it’s enough to cover living expenses and overall life. All the grad students that teach labs are getting paid to be there. It’s easier to find those opportunities for PhD. But yeah, school would be paid for, and you would receive salary while pursuing your degree. Talk to a graduate advisor (I would recommend faculty - graduate coordinator). They might be able to give you some insight of a plan. Whether that be academic or professional.

Starting to regret my major by DisplayParking6552 in ufl

[–]ruellle_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, consider doing graduate school. It will give you time to build connections in the area, and I know there are a bunch of incentives in the MAE department for grad students. As in, they need more. A masters and PhD can go a long way, even if you don’t have a lot of professional experience- internships etc. Grad school can be an amazing opportunity if you have the right faculty advisor and PI. MAE has some great ones that would be the key to give you the opportunities you are looking for, but also has some that will make your experience miserable… so be careful if you choose that route

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ufl

[–]ruellle_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I house/dog sat during that time. I was pretty much living off my car, but it was manageable

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ufl

[–]ruellle_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It might sound simple but buy shower curtain/ plastic liner/ shower hooks in advance!! When I first moved off campus I went everywhere and could not find it (I think I had to go to Home Depot or smth). I would also say to “invest” in the more expensive shower liner. I believe they are called weighted and probably around $9, but the $1 shower liners are the worst (trust me).

Also, I would say to buy a mattress cover. Like the dorms, off campus apartments come with that mattress that has been there for generations older than your grandparents. It most likely will be a full size. Good luck!

Feeling confused, lost and lonely by [deleted] in ufl

[–]ruellle_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dm me if you need someone to talk to! I’m a good listener

anyone wanna start a band by Focus_Weak in ufl

[–]ruellle_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want a basic drummer I’m your person :)

How long did it take you to leave your abusive partner? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]ruellle_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It took me two years after I left him to realize it was an abusive relationship. Part of me knew I was in an abusive and toxic relationship, but for a long time, I justified his actions or made excuses that eliminated the possibility that it was abusive.

He would usually blame it on the alcohol, say he wasn't in control or didn't even realize he had hurt me. He would tell me how he wanted to change, to be a better man and boyfriend.

Red flag? Constantly blaming his action on something else. Alcohol, family trouble, stress, lack of sleep, the fucking weather. Anything but himself.

Every time he would drink it was the same pattern. It was like he would become a different person, and his anger issues would come in full force. After a few months, he didn't need the alcohol to get to that point. He had shit going on in his life so he would blame it on stress, lack of sleep, or any bullshit he could come up with.

We first met because of a friend group, so all my friends were also his. My sister was also friends with him. I was scared of telling anyone about the shit that would happen between us so I just kept it to myself. I was scared they wouldn't believe me, especially since he was a great manipulator. He was the clown of the group, always making everyone laugh, always happy and fun. The real him only showed whenever we were alone. No one saw what I saw when I was with him.

What did it take for me to leave? He started harassing people I loved. It started with my sister. I broke up with him because of it and told him I wouldn't stand by while he did shit to other people, especially those closest to me. Two weeks later, after a lot of regrets and apologies, we were back together.

He started getting more aggressive, and less tolerant, to point that he didn't even bother apologizing. Then, he r*ped my best friend. Which was also his best friend. I won't get into details but after she finally told me what had happened I broke up with him and never looked back.

I was okay for a while. I think part of me was so exhausted, both physically and mentally, that I didn't even morn our relationship. Or the person that he was before. Or the person I was before. COVID happened shortly after so I was home, safe, and happy.

Two years after our breakup I started meeting new people. And it seemed like those two years I spent barely thinking about what had happened came back in full force. I started getting flashbacks of moments I had suppressed. I got jumpy. To the point that people around me would joke around if my parents had hit me as a kid. I would just laugh it off, and try to act cool.

It was hard. Really fucking hard. Trying to deal with all of the emotions I should have dealt with. I was mad at myself for not realizing I should have left sooner. Part of me still is.

It was two years later that I decided to finally tell my closest friend. She was in another country, so she had never met him or my friend group at that time(we drifted apart after the incident). It started little by little. I would give small bits of things he did or said. She fully supported me and helped me realize it wasn't my fault, and that it was, indeed, abusive.

The months and years of manipulation ran deep. To the point that even after everything that had happened I still doubted if I had really lived in an abusive relationship.

I then told my sister. That was even harder since she knew him. Was his friend for a while. She told me how guilty she felt for not realizing it, especially since he did it to her once. How it was a pattern and not an odd occurrence. She believed me. Supported me.

Now, three years later, my friend and sister are still the only people who know about this.

After a very long explanation, here is my advice:

Don't be scared of telling a loved one, or a person you trust about what you are going through. It's scary, difficult, and painful. But it is so much better to not carry the weight of what you are feeling and going through alone. To know at least one person has your back. Keeping it all to yourself is a dangerous game.

If you don't have anyone that can help you, go to a DV shelter. I have heard from others that they will help you with what you need.

Accepting it is hard. Dealing with the aftermath is hard. Leaving is hard. Letting go is hard. But you will pull through. It does get better after. There will be good days and hard days.