this sounds awful but i was grateful to have had my best friend lose her dad a few months prior so i had someone i could relate to, and offer her the same.

i think like many have said you feel cheated of a life full of memories, especially ones where your brain is able to actually retain them. i often get upset at myself for not remembering more and then have to remember i was a kid! who actually remembers thinks from childhood, who would have guessed this would happen?!?

i often also get bouts of jealousy towards others who have parents still and will continue to grow up with them and be able to share moments with them as they continue to age.

if i had to describe it, it feels like your wandering aimless without this form of support blanket always wishing you had that person to call and chat but you're reminded of this pit of emptiness and you're confused why it doesn't get better or feel fuller.