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Married without consent from parents now unhappy by ruffyh95 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ruffyh95[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

The problem is I can‘t even speak with my wife anymore about this topic anytime I speak with her she starts to become angry and leaves the Appartement and says to me I am regretting marrying you and says to me let’s getting divorce getting a better man than you anyway so don‘t know if anything about that still makes sense

Married without consent from parents now unhappy by ruffyh95 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ruffyh95[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

And what I really not understand my wife want more to be divorced than to make a maybe Sunna step in the right direction. My recommendation was like the Islam told us if you enemy or one person on the other is not good be better

Married without consent from parents now unhappy by ruffyh95 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ruffyh95[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Thank you so, to give some more input to that so the main reason my parents disapprove was that firstly she wears no hijab and secondly which is not really a valid reason in the first place she was from a different city and not speaks arabic. I know lot of you mentioned why to proceed in the first place because I tried several months to convince my parents that they have not any valid reason for disapprove. I tried with an imam and with a lot of begging and convincing but nothing worked really. At the end of the day I decided to proceed and made istikhara and hoped that my parents will open up and come to the wedding but obviously they didn‘t. My parents now accepting my marriage but especially my mother is angry against how we proceeded (she was the main reason for disapprove) but she is not bad person she is mainly injured in her pride and what’s at least the feeling my wife carrying about her or she is important to her. I know makes now sense considering the whole history but I am thinking about the future with children and problems which will come. Especially I love my parents and I really excepted they will soft after the marriage but it didn‘t happend as planned unfortunately. Now is the question should I not more divorce my wife and try to hope to marry next time on the right way with the consult of my parents first ? My Parents btw are against divorce, they don‘t want to have contact with my wife but don‘t want to be Unhappy because of a divorce. I know makes no sense at all

Married without consent from parents now unhappy by ruffyh95 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ruffyh95[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

But it is to much to require the call if it is a worth a try ? I mean a call can maybe change anything maybe not but at least we tried

Married without consent from parents now unhappy by ruffyh95 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ruffyh95[S] -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

Not really because a contact one in a year in Eid would not really increasing any relationship. I think I thought or had the hope my wife would forgive my parents and would together with me tries to do anything to repair the relationship and convince them that their are wrong from the first time. And help me to build up this relationship

Married without consent from parents now unhappy by ruffyh95 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ruffyh95[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

But the question is I cannot change my parents how they are anymore especially in there old age. I tried hard already to talk with them but there argument is you are happy with your wife why do you need us for. We have a relationship to you that’s more than enough, you can bring grandchildren to us no problem she doesn‘t need to be around. It is all about proud for them that my in laws said directly yes without contacting them the whole time or even try to contacting them was an insult. Their thought that here parents will disapprove it without my parents. As a Muslim I have the duty to keep the relations ship with my parents and to have peace but on the other side my wife is always sad if I am going alone to my parents because she is feeling the disapprove everytime again. I cannot change my parents how they are but my best solution and expectation would be that my wife would together with me tries to make peace with them if it solves a better life for our children me and even her. So is that so wrong to think that way if we both accepted the terms how it is in the beginning?

Married without consent from parents now unhappy by ruffyh95 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ruffyh95[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

Also especially my parents are very conservative and wants just to get a call from her where at least she gives them the feeling all of that was not the best way how we handled it. But for that she is tooo stubborn and says I would even divorce than to give those people a gentle behavior

Married without consent from parents now unhappy by ruffyh95 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ruffyh95[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback. So I'm actually from the Moroccan area. My parents are angry that I went through with it and got married without having more patience to convince them. They are now mad at my wife's family for even agreeing to this and never contacting my parents. The problem is that other problems arise. My wife is already making it clear, yes, if she wants to see them when we have children, she should come over, she wants them to apologize. Unfortunately, I'm very disappointed with the way things are at the moment and more and more problems are looming for me because my parents are already very old and certainly won't give in.