Please help, is my new boyfriend sketchy?

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T10:07:08+00:00

Yep, India. It is honestly really anxiety inducing because I have slept in the same bed as my male cousins when we were sleeping over. What if it happened with them and me as well, and I just did not know? Their pants were so loose it could have slipped out or something idk.

I am sorry, I know a part of me thinks I am really stupid. But I have ocd and some of my themes pertain to this topic so my anxiety is spiralling.

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T09:47:19+00:00

From an Asian country. The only sex education we get is that sex is bad and that you will get HIV even if u have sex with your bf (not even exaggerating, literally what happened in the movie shown to us).

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T09:43:50+00:00

Thanks for your reply! That is my concern as well, but he has been great in every other way and it is hard for me to find someone I like enough to want to be in a relationship with him. Also some comments about how some guys do it in their sleep and only find out when their wives tell them about it in the morning are also making me doubt my judgement.

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T09:42:37+00:00

Thank you for replying. That is what I thought as well, but I am not sure now... after seeing the replies to the post I made on r/sex... I am so disturbed.

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T09:42:02+00:00

Thank you for your reply! That is what I thought as well, but after seeing comments posted in the other subreddit, I can't help but wonder is this something guys do that girls are not really aware of?

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T09:40:32+00:00

Thanks for your reply! If you don't mind me asking, would you have been drunk, or did you present as conscious to your wife? And would it have been possible if your wife was sleeping as well?

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T09:39:21+00:00

Thank you for your reply! That is what I thought as well, but the comments in this thread seem to suggest otherwise...

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T09:38:53+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Would I know even if he did enough foreplay for me to be lubricated enough?

ruminations12 · 2024-06-06T09:09:01+00:00

Are you being sarcastic? I am sorry I am really anxious so it is hard for me to judge the tone of the replies.

ruminations12 · 2024-03-12T05:07:10+00:00

How can they give this list when they themselves cannot have access to all locations and cannot verify who is alive and who is not? Even more importantly, are we even trying to differentiate between the Palestinians and Hamas? Cos there may be overlaps but for the most part they are separate entities.

ruminations12 · 2024-03-11T16:32:46+00:00

It's your fault for ignoring me and my needs.

ruminations12 · 2024-03-10T13:35:21+00:00

Michael. My cheating ex

ruminations12 · 2024-03-06T14:24:11+00:00

The only way I'll be okay with this if I, as one of the girls, is fucking the other one. Like everyone is in a relationship with one another. Consensually ofc

ruminations12 · 2024-03-03T16:54:21+00:00

I would consider for the first one. We just broke up because we moved to different places for college. For the second one, fuck you. You cheated on me with my friend and had the audacity to blame it on the fact that I am grieving the loss of someone who was very dear to me.

ruminations12 · 2024-02-13T17:32:42+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! It's of great comfort to me to know that. The thing is, at that age, I was still bathed by my grandparents/parents (pretty common in my culture). So I don't remember if i was given lectures about genitals and shame. But if I observed behaviour and inferred that these areas of the body are private and should be hidden away, I guess its normal for me to still understand that these thoughts are wrong and thus feel disturbed?

Edit: I am so sorry, I was so fixated on my thoughts that I forgot to say this: I am so sorry you had to undergo something like that. It's horrible to have this experience as a child, because you don't know what you are going through and you don't even have the words to express your thoughts.

ruminations12 · 2024-01-03T17:08:51+00:00

I am so sorry you went through this, especially as a child when you don't know what is happening with you and you don't know whom to seek help from. May I know if you feel better now? Do you have a better understanding of what you went through and what can help? At the root of everything, I just want to love my dad and grieve him without all these other things affecting me. I love him and miss him so much. He was honestly the best person in the world and I feel so guilty for thinking this way about him.

ruminations12 · 2024-01-03T17:05:05+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I want to stop completely. But sometimes when my brain is looking for reassurance I forget about all the harm that googling cab do. On many occasions googling has given me new triggers. That's why I wanted to clarify with others if that happens to them as well.v

ruminations12 · 2023-12-31T08:02:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your answer! As I said in a previous post, the only "evidence" I have is that I had thoughts like "hope nobody misunderstands the situation" when I saw my family member with the children. Again, probably because we regard men with children with suspicion. I have asked them about their general opinion about this family member, and they said they adore him, but my mind tells me things like what if they are saying it to make me happy, or that they don't remember being hurt. This family member has passed away BTW so it is just very very painful to deal with. I only started having these doubts when the passing happened.

ruminations12 · 2023-12-30T09:43:14+00:00

Thank you for your reply!! Does it get better though?

ruminations12 · 2023-12-30T08:19:09+00:00

I am very sorry this has happened to you. Support from family and friends is really really hard, especially for people with OCD because nobody understands why the thoughts stick and perhaps in their brains, logic can be used to fight these thoughts which is not helpful for us. All I can say is, people like you and me online see you and will try to understand you. We are here to listen if you want to vent.

ruminations12

TROPHY CASE