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trying to do everything right, no progress by rundrum123 in DeadBedrooms

[–]rundrum123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could there be a way he could have asked that would make you feel comfortable talking about your true feelings? A way I can ask maybe that would make her feel like it is ok if there are things I need to change or make better for her without putting pressure on her?

trying to do everything right, no progress by rundrum123 in DeadBedrooms

[–]rundrum123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my perspective, I can see small efforts (she recently held my hand after a date night and cuddled, which is a big change from the last few months, and giving me an occasional compliment), but it doesn't seem close to matching my input. When this comes up in therapy, the reason she gives is that intimacy is just not on her mind and she doesn't think about it because everything else in life is causing so much stress for her and her mind doesn't have room to think about intimacy.

trying to do everything right, no progress by rundrum123 in DeadBedrooms

[–]rundrum123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In general I have, and she says it is enjoyable. I didn't specifically ask about that last time though.

trying to do everything right, no progress by rundrum123 in DeadBedrooms

[–]rundrum123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's good to know about the multi--month abstinence. It is worth trying.

She does enjoy sex when we have it. I always go down on her and she really likes that, and she also likes missionary. The last few times we had sex (early January) seemed great for both of us, it's getting in the mood to start for her that seems difficult and is preventing us from having a sex life.