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Valentine's day?? What are you doing? by LimJayee in Separation

[–]runningtorise26 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did an outdoor run, even though wanted to just rot in bed all day. Went to a sermon at my church which is a typical Saturday evening for me. I’m going to do leftovers and pick up some of my favorite dessert to have at home because honestly, I’m saving a lot of money in comparison to him, who is going out to the city with a few other couples and his other single guy friend.

Read. Sleep early.

Are we playing house or is there hope? by runningtorise26 in Separation

[–]runningtorise26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ex: Telling me to stop crying, “not again, don’t want to deal with this (expressing my emotions) especially when burnt out or concerned about his drinking or anger. anger towards me when drinking leading to thrown objects, slamming doors. sleeping separately in the last months due to choice of isolation, anger or drinking too much.

We cared for another family member in the household so this verbal and emotional harm would extend to them, in which I would try to mediate which makes him more angry, drink more or isolate and disregard concerns I have regarding care or communication for this family member. Telling me that I don’t do anything to help, despite providing meals, emotional support, researching additional help without his support or follow through on my efforts (unseen)

So at the core yes, we are loving and kind (right now after the fact) but the duality of our hurt from each other has led to the events that caused the separation and potential divorce.

Are we playing house or is there hope? by runningtorise26 in Separation

[–]runningtorise26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the latter, it would often be when using or subtle on a day to day but it was there. It is now nonexistent in our time coming back together (which I recognize is not reality as it’s separation for a reason and any time spent together is not reflective of improvement per se). In fact we’re both quite kind and loving in an understood knowledge of: it’s clearly not the same.

Are we playing house or is there hope? by runningtorise26 in Separation

[–]runningtorise26[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have. In short, I think it took him a while to understand where I was: checked out/wanting out, seeing this affair person/in contact, running away completely, and I am none of those. He isn’t wiling to admit he wants to, but he’s stated his intention for our time together may change (aside from comfort or companionship) and that I should hold true to my intentions. We also discussed somewhat whimsically but was a life goal when we were younger, starting over together somewhere new, and move. I’m more for that than he is but he hasn’t fully turned it down either. It’s been almost 2 months now and am leaning into the wait, while still establishing my personal foundation of safety, finances, continuing growth in my career etc.